Tommyh

I have 2 sponsors,a AA sponsor and a guy who used to be a Area Delegate to NY who is my service sponsor
he helps me out with a lot of questions I have my regular sponsor can`t help with

tomsteve

yup. the term sponsor in AA came from the hospital sister ignatia worked at.

good read:
Articles and Essays

artsoul

I've known quite a few people who had more than one sponsor, but it was later in their recovery, and I think it was more of an informal/mentor thing.

Welcome, realtalk - good to have you with us!

leighqt

No i seriously do not, nor should you ever think that cos you have a substantial amount of time under your belt you do not need to attend frequent meetings, take it from me

markz

You need a sponsor who has worked all 12 steps and has RECOVERED!
This can be done in a few weeks, or take decades, or never at all!

Just cause someone has a million years, means nothing.
Are they at peace?
Are they serene?
When you hang with them out of the rooms, what do they do and talk about?
Are they screaming, yelling, beating their wife and kids, stealing from people?

I know personally, tons of people with less then a year that have waaaaaay better sobriety then an "old-timer"

WMJ1012

This is different for each of us
All I know is I needed a sponsor to guide me through the steps
The time came I was supposed to move on to two other sponsors later
Then the time came I got a sign from God to let go of all sponsors and rely on Him and Him alone

Eventually we should bring everything directly to God but only when the universe shows us that and we get a clear, unmistakeable sign from God to do so

MIRecovery

It doesn't but working with other alcoholics is a bed rock principal of AA and is stated in the BB. Sponsorship is a method that has worked well for many. For me having a sponsor is essential because it allows for external input and helps keep me out of my head

GracieLou

We? I think you mean "IMHO" or you mean "Eventually I should bring everything directly to God"

I don't think anyone should expect or assume that what is right for you or has happened for you should apply to everyone.

That is your personal experience, not everyone has the same journey.

MemphisBlues

I have two sponsors, one living overseas who was my first sponsor, the second lives a block away from me.

They both have been sober for 31 years. They both have sponsors.

Hawks

I'm only 6 months sober now but I can't imagine not having someone to speak with about the stuff that comes up.

Especially step 10, the book says we discuss the wrong with someone.

If I'm not speaking to the same person regularly, I imagine it would be pretty easy to either skip it, half truth it, bend it, shape it, manipulate it, minimise it etc.

I think the thing with talking to the same person each time is they get to know you and see patterns emerge, check blindspots and so on.

So far as whether you want to call the person a "sponsor " or not is up to you.

For the record, guys in my AA home group with decades of sobriety are still sponsored, ie check in with a regular person or handful of people.

Some of the guys around the 30 year mark, use people with less sobriety out of necessity.

Turtle82

I think its an individual choice. I moved to an area where attending meetings was extremely impractical in that getting to a meeting would produce a lot of stress both mental and physical... so, not on my path to peace. My one and only AA "friend," who became that after sponsoring me through the Steps, died. Thanks to her guidance, I had one of those experiences spoken of in AA that removed all desire for alcohol and I'm married to a normie who doesn't drink at all other than a sipped and unfinished, obligatory, beer socially maybe once every 8 years or so. But, serenity which I equate with sobriety, was of paramount importance to me. So, I think, if the desire and willingness is there and only an honest look in the mirror can tell that, a way will be found to continue serenity without a physical sponsor. For me, I like to say I have many, many, sponsors. They talk to me in the 24-hours-a-day book that I read every morning and have for 28 years. I've read every page, chronologically, for that many years (no I don't have it memorized ) and, sometimes, I read ten other pages behind the day's one and ten pages ahead until my mind is quiet and I can hear/feel God. That's usually when I've allowed fear of something or other to set in which is when I used to call my "friend." And, in truth, though she's not here on earth anymore, I sometimes talk to her as if she were. I can't say I hear her reply but it sure does trigger the memory of what she's said in the past... so, same thing I guess.

But, truthfully, I do miss having someone I can sit down and talk with face-to-face or on the phone. Its a wonderful thing to have a friend who has such an important thing as sobriety in common with you..... someone who understands you inside out... and someone you've come to love. Not everyone develops that with their sponsor and its a kind of formal relationship. Whatever works is what I say and that's different for each of us.

markz

To put it bluntly, it doesnt matter how much sober time you got.
I have seen people with a signicant amount of "sober time" be just as sick, if not sicker then they were when they were drinking.
On the flip side I have seen newcomers come in, work all 12 steps and in a very short time progress so much. They are at ease, they are serene. You would have thought that they had 30+ yrs in by the way they talk. You hear them talk on the steps in a meeting. Not how the weather is, or traffic, or their boss, or spouse, or children.

Its good to have a sponsor, someone who you can bounce ideas off off. Because sooner or later the excrement is going to hit the fan, and if you do not have someone solid in the program, who knows what will happen.

Its better to have a coach then not to have one!