Hearing a Fifth Step ...
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Hearing a Fifth Step ...
A sponsee of mine started her fifth step with me today, we should finish up tomorrow.
I'm sitting here awake because I keep thinking of it and what I've said to her so far and thinking "God, I hope I'm telling her the right thing."
I've been praying and I know so long as I leave it in his hands it will be ok but my brain won't shut down.
I'm sitting here awake because I keep thinking of it and what I've said to her so far and thinking "God, I hope I'm telling her the right thing."
I've been praying and I know so long as I leave it in his hands it will be ok but my brain won't shut down.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,992
We are the voice of our higher power, as long as you invited Him in to the 5th step and continued to pray throughout that time, all is as it should be. Have you spoken with your sponsor yet? Maybe since she knows you well, she can help you to know all is well. Meditation may help, too.
You did well!
You did well!
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
Sounds like fear to me. Ask God to remove it.
Fear I am not going to say the right thing to my sponsee as I listen to her 5th step.
Fear her sobriety is based on what I say to her.
Fear I think I am responsible for others.
Fear I am not being a good sponsor.
Fear I am not telling her the right thing.
Fear I keep thinking about it.
Fear obsession over my role as sponsor.
Fear I won't do it right.
Whatever comes to mind.
Get a piece of paper and a pen.
Write it all out.
Please God, Remove my fears. I pray only for knowledge of your will for us and the power to carry that out. Love, your name, Amen.
Fear I am not going to say the right thing to my sponsee as I listen to her 5th step.
Fear her sobriety is based on what I say to her.
Fear I think I am responsible for others.
Fear I am not being a good sponsor.
Fear I am not telling her the right thing.
Fear I keep thinking about it.
Fear obsession over my role as sponsor.
Fear I won't do it right.
Whatever comes to mind.
Get a piece of paper and a pen.
Write it all out.
Please God, Remove my fears. I pray only for knowledge of your will for us and the power to carry that out. Love, your name, Amen.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 449
The three most honest words I've learned in AA are "I don't know".
Sometimes my role is to listen and offer a compassionate ear. I'm not an answer man. I take very literally "share my experience", if a sponsee discloses something to me and I don't have the experience with it, I say "I don't know, I don't have that experience". I'll leave it to him to solicit my opinion, thoughts, feelings. There's been a time or two where I paused and asked God for help and I asked questions. Questions that seemed to allow the sponsee to seek within himself the truth of why he held onto a resentment and even moreso to look at it from an entirely different angle. I've been privy to such a powerful moment, hell I got choked up.
People don't pay attention to me much, I'm a fool. So I ask God to protect me and my sponsee from me and my delusional thinking that I have answers when I don't.
Really getting into stuff I'm hearing lately that I'm nothing but a finger pointing to the solution - not the keeper of it.
God Bless you both for serving one another.
Sometimes my role is to listen and offer a compassionate ear. I'm not an answer man. I take very literally "share my experience", if a sponsee discloses something to me and I don't have the experience with it, I say "I don't know, I don't have that experience". I'll leave it to him to solicit my opinion, thoughts, feelings. There's been a time or two where I paused and asked God for help and I asked questions. Questions that seemed to allow the sponsee to seek within himself the truth of why he held onto a resentment and even moreso to look at it from an entirely different angle. I've been privy to such a powerful moment, hell I got choked up.
People don't pay attention to me much, I'm a fool. So I ask God to protect me and my sponsee from me and my delusional thinking that I have answers when I don't.
Really getting into stuff I'm hearing lately that I'm nothing but a finger pointing to the solution - not the keeper of it.
God Bless you both for serving one another.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,909
by the time I got to the 5th step,
I had prayed and I knew what I was supposed to do as a sponsee
my sponsor`s job was to sit and listen,not to interrupt,define,or correct anything I read off to him.I read him my 4th step for 6 hours until I was done and he hardly said a word until I was done.He may have said a dozen words during that 6 hours.That was his job according to the big book.Then he asked me one question
did you intentionally leave anything out?I`m giving you a chance to be honest here Tommy,I said no and I told the truth.
he immediately sent me home and said
go home and get your big book( he would not let me bring it to do the 5th step)
sit still and un-interrupted for 1 hour,the hour of grace,and go over the first 5 steps.Make sure you did not miss anything and that your work is solid so far.Thank God you know Him better.
I did as told.Then I followed the directions for steps 6 & 7
simple job as a sponsor
simple job as a sponsee
we complicate a simple issue when we go back to playing God and tell others what they did wrong or should have done yada yada ya
we also give the sponsee`s a way to stay dishonest if we do not ask them if they left anything out,it is our job to give them every chance to be honest with us,themselves and God
I had prayed and I knew what I was supposed to do as a sponsee
my sponsor`s job was to sit and listen,not to interrupt,define,or correct anything I read off to him.I read him my 4th step for 6 hours until I was done and he hardly said a word until I was done.He may have said a dozen words during that 6 hours.That was his job according to the big book.Then he asked me one question
did you intentionally leave anything out?I`m giving you a chance to be honest here Tommy,I said no and I told the truth.
he immediately sent me home and said
go home and get your big book( he would not let me bring it to do the 5th step)
sit still and un-interrupted for 1 hour,the hour of grace,and go over the first 5 steps.Make sure you did not miss anything and that your work is solid so far.Thank God you know Him better.
I did as told.Then I followed the directions for steps 6 & 7
simple job as a sponsor
simple job as a sponsee
we complicate a simple issue when we go back to playing God and tell others what they did wrong or should have done yada yada ya
we also give the sponsee`s a way to stay dishonest if we do not ask them if they left anything out,it is our job to give them every chance to be honest with us,themselves and God
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,992
My sponsor shared their experiences with me. We had a discussion. I realized my patterns of behavior and some other things. I learned how self-centered I was. I'm glad I wasn't just confessing as I would still feel so alone. I felt relief, knowing that I am not the only person to have gone through the things I did. I think we get what is needed, no matter how the process occurs. My step 9 discussion was also quite encouraging in getting me out of myself and having compassion for those I have hurt with my words and actions. I felt the need to share this, thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 449
UpperbucksAAGuy I experienced that just the other night hearing one from a guy. I think I had it before but nowhere near as profound as the other night.
Powerful experience. And about an item in a two year old inventory too.
Powerful experience. And about an item in a two year old inventory too.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
