Why Gratitude is Important...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Why Gratitude is Important...
In early sobriety I hardly felt grateful for anything but several times per week my sponsor suggested writing a gratitude list anyway. I could at least be grateful I was alive, had health, was sober, had a home, etc. Now science tackles the subject of gratitude. See this article in today's New York Times.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone....
Happy Thanksgiving everyone....
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
My sponsor would ask me questions when I was sober and had nothing on my gratitude list.
She would say things like....Did you take a drink today? No.
Did you feed your child? Yes
Do you have food in your fridge?
After about 10 or more things...she would get me to realize that none of this would be happening if I wasn't sober and in service for my family.
I had a hard time seeing things positively, and praising myself, being grateful, but she helped me to see that I was actually changing and making good progress.
One of the benefits of being involved in a fellowship of recovered members is that we establish relationships, and people get to know us, and can help us see what we can be grateful for. They have seen us change even if we can't see it yet!
I don't make a physical gratitude list. I speak Thank you God for this hot water, or something like that as it happens, as I am grateful. I am trying to become more aware of just how much we have, that others truly don't.
Simple Things.
She would say things like....Did you take a drink today? No.
Did you feed your child? Yes
Do you have food in your fridge?
After about 10 or more things...she would get me to realize that none of this would be happening if I wasn't sober and in service for my family.
I had a hard time seeing things positively, and praising myself, being grateful, but she helped me to see that I was actually changing and making good progress.
One of the benefits of being involved in a fellowship of recovered members is that we establish relationships, and people get to know us, and can help us see what we can be grateful for. They have seen us change even if we can't see it yet!
I don't make a physical gratitude list. I speak Thank you God for this hot water, or something like that as it happens, as I am grateful. I am trying to become more aware of just how much we have, that others truly don't.
Simple Things.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,863
I started practicing gratitude around my second or third month of sobriety, when I was dry but still miserable. What a difference it made!
The more I found to be grateful for, the more there was to find. It transformed my attitude! Being aware of, and thankful for all my blessings did me a world of good. It's a huge reason I'm happily sober today at almost two years sober now. The ability to focus on the positive means less emphasis on the negative.
I cannot say enough good things about gratitude!
The more I found to be grateful for, the more there was to find. It transformed my attitude! Being aware of, and thankful for all my blessings did me a world of good. It's a huge reason I'm happily sober today at almost two years sober now. The ability to focus on the positive means less emphasis on the negative. I cannot say enough good things about gratitude!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
What I later learned is whatever you focus on expands. If I stay mired in poor me I have nothing that becomes my reality. Shifting to gratitude and focusing on what I have is a wonderful tool for staying sane and sober...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Gratitude, in my experience with it, comes as the result of being spiritually connected, not as a pathway to it.
All my life, I could add up all of the good fortune and things in my life, and I knew intellectually that I should be grateful for them. The problem was, I just couldn't feel it on any kind of deep level. Instead, life sucked, these people annoyed me, and any thankfulness I felt about something new wore off very quickly. This still happens when I'm not spiritually connected.
On the other hand, when the spiritual connection is strong, gratitude comes pouring out to the point of nearly being overwhelmed by it. I can't not feel it.
I spent many hours in airports and planes last Friday, with my eyes full tears all day long at the simple beauty of being sandwiched between two 9 month old children, and seeing the real life around me and being fully engaged in it. I think about how differently my life could have gone, and I can't help but feel blessed and exceedingly lucky to be a full participant in the world.
All my life, I could add up all of the good fortune and things in my life, and I knew intellectually that I should be grateful for them. The problem was, I just couldn't feel it on any kind of deep level. Instead, life sucked, these people annoyed me, and any thankfulness I felt about something new wore off very quickly. This still happens when I'm not spiritually connected.
On the other hand, when the spiritual connection is strong, gratitude comes pouring out to the point of nearly being overwhelmed by it. I can't not feel it.
I spent many hours in airports and planes last Friday, with my eyes full tears all day long at the simple beauty of being sandwiched between two 9 month old children, and seeing the real life around me and being fully engaged in it. I think about how differently my life could have gone, and I can't help but feel blessed and exceedingly lucky to be a full participant in the world.
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
You can tell the people who try and live this way of life just like you can tell folks who are into drama. I think gratitude can be catchy. Thanks for the article I read it and then posted it on my facebook. Have a great Thanksgiving!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 86
I just starting working on gratitude lists yesterday. I am such a HUGE ball of negativity and I need to just stop and write out what I have in my life. Like keithj I know intellectually that I should be grateful for what I have in my life but I'm having a hard time feeling it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by Frustriert 
I just starting working on gratitude lists yesterday.
What worked, and what continues to work, was connecting to a higher power through the 12 Steps. Nowhere in those Steps does it suggest writing down everything for which I'm grateful. Like I said, I won't knock it, and by all means do it if it helps you. I would encourage you, however, to not let it be a substitute for the 12 Steps.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: WI
Posts: 228
Originally Posted by keithj
I know a lot of people write gratitude lists. I won't knock the practice, but I just never got any benefit from it. My problem was not in being able to recognize the things in my life that I should feel grateful for. My problem was in actually feeling that gratitude on a heart level. I couldn't feel that with all of ME in the way.
What worked, and what continues to work, was connecting to a higher power through the 12 Steps. Nowhere in those Steps does it suggest writing down everything for which I'm grateful. Like I said, I won't knock it, and by all means do it if it helps you. I would encourage you, however, to not let it be a substitute for the 12 Steps.
What worked, and what continues to work, was connecting to a higher power through the 12 Steps. Nowhere in those Steps does it suggest writing down everything for which I'm grateful. Like I said, I won't knock it, and by all means do it if it helps you. I would encourage you, however, to not let it be a substitute for the 12 Steps.
Now, I'm definitely grateful, but gratitude for me is more of an action now. I practice gratitude by showing up in my family's life-the family I am so grateful to have. I show gratitude at work by being of service to my coworkers and patients-at a job I am grateful to have. I show gratitude to god by carrying the solution he showed me in AA to anyone who suffers-this is for the god I am grateful to for restoring me to sanity.
This time of year definitely reminds how important it is to put my gratitude into action.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
The thing is, you don't have to FEEL grateful to get the advantage of writing a gratitude list. It's a good tool for getting out of a miserable state of mind. You can't be in two states of mind at the same time so, at least temporarily, you're shifting your focus away from the self-centered fear we all feel from time to time.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,903
I used to not feel it either
no matter what,I could always point out the bad in it or everyone except me.
the practice of cultivating a attitude of gratitude helped me see things wasn`t as bad as I had thought.
Then my sponsor said to me,are you grateful?Then show it (he meant get into action)
I also realized it was hard for me to feel grateful for all my blessings when I was sitting on my pity pot getting a big ole red ring around my rear,or vice versa.
Gratitude is the majic oil that keeps me from squeaking,my squeaking sounds a lot like this
self pity,anger,minding others business,gossip,negative thinking etc
Cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” has been linked to better health, sounder sleep, less anxiety and depression, higher long-term satisfaction with life and kinder behavior toward others, including romantic partners. A new study shows that feeling grateful makes people less likely to turn aggressive when provoked, which helps explain why so many brothers-in-law survive Thanksgiving without serious injury.
no matter what,I could always point out the bad in it or everyone except me.
the practice of cultivating a attitude of gratitude helped me see things wasn`t as bad as I had thought.
Then my sponsor said to me,are you grateful?Then show it (he meant get into action)
I also realized it was hard for me to feel grateful for all my blessings when I was sitting on my pity pot getting a big ole red ring around my rear,or vice versa.
Gratitude is the majic oil that keeps me from squeaking,my squeaking sounds a lot like this
self pity,anger,minding others business,gossip,negative thinking etc
Cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” has been linked to better health, sounder sleep, less anxiety and depression, higher long-term satisfaction with life and kinder behavior toward others, including romantic partners. A new study shows that feeling grateful makes people less likely to turn aggressive when provoked, which helps explain why so many brothers-in-law survive Thanksgiving without serious injury.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,903
I forgot one thing my old sponsor told me once
if you are having trouble going to sleep,don`t count sheep,count your blessings
2 weeks later I tryed it,i fell alseep quickly,and woke up with a strange attitude of gratitude the next morning
true story
if you are having trouble going to sleep,don`t count sheep,count your blessings
2 weeks later I tryed it,i fell alseep quickly,and woke up with a strange attitude of gratitude the next morning
true story
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
