Diana40

Hi. My name is Diana and I'm new to this board and AA. I haven't had a drink in 9 days and have been to four AA meetings. The only way I'm hanging on right now is by doing what I've heard at each meeting: To ask God each day to help me stay sober, just for this day. Sometimes it's just for the next hour or five minutes. That's such a simple concept yet I was never able to quit before. I'm so glad I went to AA meetings because I think that is what is keeping me sober so far. Nothing else ever worked. I have a question and would appreciate any advice. My fiance likes to go out with his buddies a few times a week and have a few beers. I don't have a problem with this but now he's afraid to go out because of me. He's been very supportive of me and will quit if I ask him to but I don't want him to become unhappy. Has anyone had experience with this? Thanks.

CarolD

glad you found us and more importantly...Congratulations on 9 days sober!!

I tried to stay with my still drinking lover. While he supported my decision to quit he was not interested in stopping.

It did not work for us... my goals and approch to living changed and he missed his party girl.
I got to the point where the stale beer stink was a Yuk.
He thought I spent too much time with my AA friends.


However...
As his drinking does not bother you...then it is no big deal.

Diana40

Thank you Carol. I printed your reply and I'm going to show it to him.

LettingGo

Hi Diana,

Meetings and these boards are what keep me sober! I am glad you are making a great effort to get to them! When I sobered up my ex hubby missed his party girl too. Not to say yours will, not saying that at all. It is just that the dynamics of a relationship are bound to change when you take away such a common denominator. Know what I mean jelly bean? Take care, say your prayers and always remember just take things a moment, then a minute then a day at a time. It will work out the way it should if you let it!

HarryH

Dianna, that is super great news. You have been sober for 9 days and you are going to meetings and have already picked up on a very important suggestion, asking God for help. If your boyfriend is willing to support you, it really isn't necessary for him to stop drinking, but I don't alow anybody to drink in my home. I go to family gatherings where people are drinking and when I get nervous about it I just let them know I have to go, but I don't really have to let the know why. If your boyfriend respects you and is willing to support you, I have no reason to believe that he would drink around you or ask you to go out while he is going to drink. I would let him make his own decision on whether or not he wants to quit because of you. If he isn't an alcoholic, and he does respect you, he will know what is the right thing to do.
Keep coming and continue to go to meetings. It sounds like you want it, and what I have heard in meetings is that AA isn't for those who need it, but for those who want it.

God bless

Harry

Justme57

Hi Dianna ! Congratulations on 9 days ! Thats great . I am new too, ( only 14 days) Aren't the meetings terrific ? I have been going to heaps too, and have made some wonderful friends .

I am a bit new to give you any advice , but I guess if it was me , and he is going OUT to drink with his mates, at this early stage , I think I would just go with the flow , as he seems very supportive .
Personally,I would not be strong enough yet to deal with the changed dynamics of him staying home , when normally he would be out , but that is just me . let it take its course , cos at the moment , you really need to focus on YOU and YOUR recovery . Thats just my thought , but as II said , I am a bit new to know

You go girl

One day at a time
HUGXXXX from OZ
Lee

Chy

Hi Diana and welcome!

Congrats on 9 days those first weeks are the hardest but keep going to meetings and it will get better. I think it's great you have support from your fiance.. truly makes a differenc. My hubby has been my number one cheerleader! *LOL* Looking forward to getting to know you.

DolphinBlue

Hi Diana,

congratulations to you on your sober time.

I too think its great that you have such support. There are times when I feel that people are walking around on eggshells around me, not sure whether or not the can/can't drink.

This can be tricky to deal with, but I find that if I honestly don't mind, I can assure the person that I feel that way. If they still have a problem with it, that becomes another issue.

Good luck and keep coming back.

Amy