"stupid"_people_at_work_causing_me_problems
i've done my almost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Originally Posted by Music 
Can't do anything....or WON'T do anything?? There's always a payoff for our behavior. What's the payoff? What are you gaining for this kind of behavior? If the answer is NOTHING, then stop behaving in this manner. Just shop. What others do, say or think is none of your business. My guess is this behavior sets you up as the judge so you can continue to compare others to how you are or would be if you were in their shoes. Gives you a feeling of superiority. Your way would be better.....etc.
Or at least that's how I see it. I feel I'm recognizing it and trying to give it to God, but like you say...maybe I'm really not. It's confusing, but I have to remember I've only been sober for 11 months and I drank like a fish for around 15 years.
i've done my almost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Originally Posted by Chops
Can't speak for Kjell but for me as long as I stayed sober the behaviors were pretty easy to stop... it was the thoughts that killed me, and just stopping them on my own was like being told to just stop drinking on my own with no help when I felt like it.
The thoughts of superiority always just killed me inside, the actions were what killed me with others. Dunno, it got better with God and AA.
Day Trader told me something great once though, maybe acting in a way contrary to your thoughts will lead your thoughts to mimic your actions. (DT please feel free to correct me if I got that wrong) That has been working for me lately with some stuff.
The thoughts of superiority always just killed me inside, the actions were what killed me with others. Dunno, it got better with God and AA.
Day Trader told me something great once though, maybe acting in a way contrary to your thoughts will lead your thoughts to mimic your actions. (DT please feel free to correct me if I got that wrong) That has been working for me lately with some stuff.
The difference, again, is I'm not acting on them nearly as much and well, that's progress right there.
Ok, this thread worked. Not saying to not add additional thoughts, but just saying it's helped me work through this (at least for today).
Thanks everyone!
Kjell
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Chops
Day Trader told me something great once though, maybe acting in a way contrary to your thoughts will lead your thoughts to mimic your actions. (DT please feel free to correct me if I got that wrong) That has been working for me lately with some stuff.
The way I've gotten through it was to form a model in my mind of what a surrendered person would do...what a spiritual person would do, what someone close to God would do...how they would act......and then Id try to act like that person. By acting like a surrendered person would act, or a spiritual person would act, or a loving person would act, my thinking starts to change.
It sounds backwards (at least it did to me when I heard it the first time) but I tried it.......mostly because nothing else was working and I couldn't take any more of "me." And yes, I felt like a phony for a while....but not for long. By taking the right actions, even though I didn't feel them, my thinking started to change and, before long, I DID start to feel them.
Glad it's working for u too Chops.
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