Taking5

Wow I am beside myself. I got invited out after work Wednesday and accepted. Fast forward 4 days and I am in bed, got the shakes, hot and cold sweats, etc. Basically everything I swore I'd never do again. So I am going to pick up a starter chip as soon as I am good enough to go to a meeting.

Back to square one.

Dee74

Crap. I'm really sorry to hear that dg...but I'm glad you're back.

D

aasharon90

Welcome back is what you
will hear often when someone
goes back out and returns.

Sneaky little devil Alcohol is.

It doesnt matter if ur in a
great awesome place in ur
recovery. Whether u r at a
day one or 20 some aught
yrs later.

Recovery became a part of
my life where I live and
breath it on a daily bases.

I wake every morning, eat,
work, exercise, brush my
teeth, bath, potty, sleep
and incorperate AA in all
my affairs.

A strong foundation one
step at a time making it
strong each day to enjoy
life happy joyous and free
from a drink of alcohol.

shaun00

Im real sorry to here that.

When the fog lifts maybe share some more......not about the drinking...but what happen/didnt happen before the drinking....id be interested to hear it.

i talk from no high ground....my early story is peppered with "more research"...

keep hydrated and take it easy....till you can catch a meeting.

WakeUp

Sorry to hear this. When and if you feel like sharing more, we're here to listen.

Taking5

I feel like crap. Throwing up. Trying to stay hydrated.

LawMama

Sorry to hear it. Is there anyone from AA you can call?

CarolD

Welcome back.....

Good to know you are planning a fresh start

Try calling 911 if you get sicker.

Taking5

I'm on the phone with - believe it or not - an old bartender who is 3 years sober in AA.

IO Storm

Oh, dgillz...I am so sorry to hear this. I've been there myself more than once.
Glad you are back...keep posting. Take good care.

aswego

Look at this as a blessing. You now know there's no moderation for you, even after 2 years. I'm sure a little part of you always wondered, especially after 2 years, "what if?" Now you know. Proceed accordingly.

bellakeller

Thanks for coming here and telling us what a nightmare that was. Maybe someone else won't go out because you did the "research" for them. I know I appreciate the reminder but sorry you were the test subject.

I am glad you made it in one piece.

Much love and take care.

Taking5

Feeling better and holding down some juice now. Where did I go wrong? Well I quit coming here very much and quit going to AA meetings.

LawMama

Thanks for sharing with us. I know I needed to hear it. And glad you are feeling a bit better.

yeahgr8

Hey dgillz

Really glad to hear that you are on the phone to someone in AA, back here and going to get to a meeting when you feel a little more...steady on your feet:-)

You know most dont come back in for months/years right? Most have a progression back into their drinking of before...one blowout this week another in a couple of weeks, a few more, no more meetings, no more SR, see you in a few years if ever. Please be aware also that you have set off the physical craving and mental obsession again and that a return to basics is required asap...get a sponsor, work the steps and get back that spiritual connection (if you didn't do this last time do it this time!).

You get what i mean i hope...im saying expect to want to drink again for a while, expect not to feel right physically or mentally and dont sit their stewing at home beating yourself up because either of these happen...the thoughts like i should be feeling better by now i was 2 years sober, whats wrong with me, maybe ill never get it, ah screw it! You know that old BS, dont listen and get back into recovery.

Good luck and keep us posted!

LexieCat

Sorry to hear it--happens to quite a few people, though.

Glad you are checking in with us, and with other sober people. Hope you feel better soon, and buckle back down to what you need to do.

Hugs,

Thami

What matters is that you picked yourself up again... JFT you are clean and thats all that matters. keep Well and hold your head up high

viavai

Dear dg,

I am so sorry that you're going through what you're going through--especially the phsyical sickness. Hope you feel better soon.

I relapsed after 4 years. I still went to the occasional meeting, but I was experimenting with controlled drinking, which, for the most part, it was. But I was MISERABLE, and my self-esteem/self-concept hit an all-time low; I'm still feeling the shame of my behavior (lying and sneaking). And I hid it so well for those nine months, that even my husband didn't realize I was drinking. Please don't put yourself through any more self-torture (just in case you're tempted). I still have cravings and the mental obsession, but I am starting the steps anew with a new, GREAT sponsor, and I'm hitting meetings almost daily.

Please take care of yourself, and just keep it in the day. Best to you.

kargy

Hi, I hope you are feeling better. I relapsed after 3 1/2 years and went away for 3+ years. At least you have enough sense to get back quickly. Mine is the same story, stop going to meetings, try controlled drinking... I only recently, 7 days now, recommitted myself to the program. 90 in 90, back in the book, sponsor. Learn from it and leave it behind.

Ladybird79

((dgillz))

Thanks for sharing, I had a lapse yesterday after two months of sobriety! Reading about your experience and your ability to get "back on the saddle" is both comforting and gives me hope!

You can do it, and so can I. Alcohol is powerful and sneaky, maybe we both have learned that the hard way once again!

Hugs,

Ladybird