Pink Cloud?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: AA Rooms
Posts: 268
I had a pink cloud in the beginning, hope of a new, better, fuller life. I have a failed marriage albeit an abusive one and my ex said to me today he gave me reason to go to court to get a safety order, an out of control and abusive 18 year old son, no family, no friends. The only one who seems happy about me not drinking is my three year old, even tho he hasn't a clue why momma is more attentive. I haven't seen lonliness disappear, I haven't found a spirit of fellowship. I really want to know what the f**k is wrong with me. I miss my best and most reliable friend, drink. I could escape from all of it for a while. Please, how do you get rid of this lonliness, this dilemma that drink seems to help cope with this feeling of being alone. I've sat in AA rooms and relate to some folks sharing and stories so why no connection, no fellowship. I'm a commoner garden alcoholic according to my counsellor so I don't understand why I can't make friends in AA, I feel sometimes people avoid me in chat here on SR. Please tell me what's so wrong with me, please so I can fix it, otherwise I don't see the point in doing this. I'm beginning to feel like some kind of freak. I'm sorry but this is how I feel right now and I had to let it out.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Hi Awayfromit,
I used to be shy, but overcame that years ago, so I'm the kind of guy who will walk up to you, stick out my hand and introduce myself, not waiting on others to do that for me. I find it helps break the ice and lets people know I'm confident, which helps attract others. Reading up on being confident, assertiveness and so forth helps us find tools to overcome our social awkwardness. Sometimes we have to search long and hard for good friends, and during the interim find support such as you've found here. Keep knocking on doors, keep saying hello and keep trying to connect till it starts working for you. IMO, there's nothing wrong with you, just takes time to build a new network of support.
I used to be shy, but overcame that years ago, so I'm the kind of guy who will walk up to you, stick out my hand and introduce myself, not waiting on others to do that for me. I find it helps break the ice and lets people know I'm confident, which helps attract others. Reading up on being confident, assertiveness and so forth helps us find tools to overcome our social awkwardness. Sometimes we have to search long and hard for good friends, and during the interim find support such as you've found here. Keep knocking on doors, keep saying hello and keep trying to connect till it starts working for you. IMO, there's nothing wrong with you, just takes time to build a new network of support.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
I don't know this persons intent, but recovery is generally, ime a pretty pink cloudy kinda thing, even when the clouds on the horizon are black.
All dependent on how I choose to look at things, of course.
All dependent on how I choose to look at things, of course.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Away!!!!
I only know you from here and I like you!
Sometimes, mothers are isolated because of the young child. And the little one is happy!
Keep going, cannot possibly be happier in the bottle! Try different meetings, sometimes people are a bit "cliquey". Ask someone that you think is nice to meet for coffee before meeting. Sounds like there are a few mean guys in your life and they also can cause isolation. Make some playdates with someone and their child. This does not have to be AA related, just some company. What about work colleagues? Local playground, store?
You may very well be lonely but there are a lot of people who are. I lived in the middle of New York city and had friends were around but I felt people were all busy with their own stuff. I was only aware of how mistaken I was, when i was leaving. Please hang in there and have faith in yourself. You must try and get some human contact in your life. Like I said, you are nice just from here so in person better again. Stay sober please, we need you. Hugs and big slobbery kiss on the cheek!
I only know you from here and I like you!
Sometimes, mothers are isolated because of the young child. And the little one is happy!
Keep going, cannot possibly be happier in the bottle! Try different meetings, sometimes people are a bit "cliquey". Ask someone that you think is nice to meet for coffee before meeting. Sounds like there are a few mean guys in your life and they also can cause isolation. Make some playdates with someone and their child. This does not have to be AA related, just some company. What about work colleagues? Local playground, store?
You may very well be lonely but there are a lot of people who are. I lived in the middle of New York city and had friends were around but I felt people were all busy with their own stuff. I was only aware of how mistaken I was, when i was leaving. Please hang in there and have faith in yourself. You must try and get some human contact in your life. Like I said, you are nice just from here so in person better again. Stay sober please, we need you. Hugs and big slobbery kiss on the cheek!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: DE
Posts: 48
Thanks for this post, it was very helpful to me and I'm sure others.
I was seeking answers to this very question for days now. I've been sober many, many times before using a boatload of different methods, reading countless books, hypnosis, phsy, counseling, naltrexone and the like, you name it. Only to end up drunk again. My spirit was broken and I thought I was doomed. I tried to take my life several times lately because of it recently, I truely thought there was no hope. Funny thing is, from the outside, most things in my life are great, financial, job, no legal troubles (not sure how??), etc., Today, this day, it's raining, I just got back from a walk and I feel more at peace and happier than I've been probably in a long, long time. The quote someone had "Sometimes I think I have all the answers. What I am starting to realize now though is that I don't know all the questions." rang true for me. It's like a light switch was turned on when I wrote my life of resentments out in step 4. That light was God. I am seeing so many things I didn't before.
With my spirit broken, I have been unsettled, nervous about relapsing again despite the spiritual presence in my life. Rightly so becuase I've broken so many promises to myself and others so many times. I've been on pink clouds before when getting sober only to end up worse than I was before. My real problem was a spiritual malady. When I did quit, I'd be pacing the floors, buying things to try to make me feel better, I couldn't stand sitting in a room alone with no distractions.
My thoughts are there will be ups and downs, hard times, but as long as I keep my connection open with God, there will always be some form of a Pink Cloud for me.
I was seeking answers to this very question for days now. I've been sober many, many times before using a boatload of different methods, reading countless books, hypnosis, phsy, counseling, naltrexone and the like, you name it. Only to end up drunk again. My spirit was broken and I thought I was doomed. I tried to take my life several times lately because of it recently, I truely thought there was no hope. Funny thing is, from the outside, most things in my life are great, financial, job, no legal troubles (not sure how??), etc., Today, this day, it's raining, I just got back from a walk and I feel more at peace and happier than I've been probably in a long, long time. The quote someone had "Sometimes I think I have all the answers. What I am starting to realize now though is that I don't know all the questions." rang true for me. It's like a light switch was turned on when I wrote my life of resentments out in step 4. That light was God. I am seeing so many things I didn't before.
With my spirit broken, I have been unsettled, nervous about relapsing again despite the spiritual presence in my life. Rightly so becuase I've broken so many promises to myself and others so many times. I've been on pink clouds before when getting sober only to end up worse than I was before. My real problem was a spiritual malady. When I did quit, I'd be pacing the floors, buying things to try to make me feel better, I couldn't stand sitting in a room alone with no distractions.
My thoughts are there will be ups and downs, hard times, but as long as I keep my connection open with God, there will always be some form of a Pink Cloud for me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: nj
Posts: 541
My interpretation of the "pink cloud' is as follows.
Somebody who, for whatever reason has been able to quit drinking for a little bit and feels great! They've come to AA , they found a bunch of kindred of souls and life is good. ( you know, like me)
But they haven't worked the 12 steps, thus haven't treated their alcoholism as prescribed in the Big book.
I''m guessing that person of 8 years has seen many such people come.
And seen most of them go.
Somebody who, for whatever reason has been able to quit drinking for a little bit and feels great! They've come to AA , they found a bunch of kindred of souls and life is good. ( you know, like me)
But they haven't worked the 12 steps, thus haven't treated their alcoholism as prescribed in the Big book.
I''m guessing that person of 8 years has seen many such people come.
And seen most of them go.
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