Humility & Character-Building
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lowell
Posts: 345
Humility & Character-Building
And as I stated in Step 6, I thought these two Steps would be short and sweet. And as I found out, not so.
From the book “Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions” Step 7, page 71, 2d paragraph.
“In all these strivings, so many of them well-intentioned,
our crippling handicap had been our lack of humility. We
had lacked the perspective to see that character-building
and spiritual values had to come first, and that material satisfactions were not the purpose of living.”
Quoted from the 12x12 Step 7, page 70, 2d paragraph
“Indeed, the attainment of greater humility is the foundation
principle of each of A.A.'s Twelve Steps.”
For me it was about tearing down the old character and building a new one.
The action I had to take was about changing my old ways, ideas and motives. Changing myself was a process I had started to work on before I got to the Steps. Doing what is right and living a new life. I read in another thread where this guy talks about Step 7 being about shortcomings. And a couple of his examples were coming up short as a husband and coming up short as being a father. I came up short on being a human being that God would want me to be.
I know this isn’t just about sitting there, asking God to remove my character defects and a miracle would happen and they would be removed. I have to work on being a better person. I had to stop being dishonest, being a thief and thinking that life owed me something. Thinking I was being shortchanged. And blaming everyone else for what was happening to me. I have to become responsible for my own actions. I have to stop the unaccepted behaviors. And those defects that I have difficulty with I pray to God to help me with them that He may remove them. I don’t plan on holding onto any of my defects and I don’t say never on any of them. I do understand that there may be some that may not be removed, but not because I am not willing to give them up.
I ask God on a daily basis to teach me how to live, to help me become more honest and live morally.
To me Step 7 is about building a good character, and that humility is going to be necessary for me toward character-building.
Harry
From the book “Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions” Step 7, page 71, 2d paragraph.
“In all these strivings, so many of them well-intentioned,
our crippling handicap had been our lack of humility. We
had lacked the perspective to see that character-building
and spiritual values had to come first, and that material satisfactions were not the purpose of living.”
Quoted from the 12x12 Step 7, page 70, 2d paragraph
“Indeed, the attainment of greater humility is the foundation
principle of each of A.A.'s Twelve Steps.”
For me it was about tearing down the old character and building a new one.
The action I had to take was about changing my old ways, ideas and motives. Changing myself was a process I had started to work on before I got to the Steps. Doing what is right and living a new life. I read in another thread where this guy talks about Step 7 being about shortcomings. And a couple of his examples were coming up short as a husband and coming up short as being a father. I came up short on being a human being that God would want me to be.
I know this isn’t just about sitting there, asking God to remove my character defects and a miracle would happen and they would be removed. I have to work on being a better person. I had to stop being dishonest, being a thief and thinking that life owed me something. Thinking I was being shortchanged. And blaming everyone else for what was happening to me. I have to become responsible for my own actions. I have to stop the unaccepted behaviors. And those defects that I have difficulty with I pray to God to help me with them that He may remove them. I don’t plan on holding onto any of my defects and I don’t say never on any of them. I do understand that there may be some that may not be removed, but not because I am not willing to give them up.
I ask God on a daily basis to teach me how to live, to help me become more honest and live morally.
To me Step 7 is about building a good character, and that humility is going to be necessary for me toward character-building.
Harry
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,903
ty Harry for sharing your ESH with us.I enjoy reading your posts.A meeting in print in cyberspace.
On my step 7
My sponsor used the archway to freedom as a illustration for me.When I got up from my knees after step 7,I was able to step thru that arch a free man.Free & I then had the tools to use to remain free,the first 7 steps.The promises had come true to a great extent half way thru the first 7 steps for me.My focus was then to be on continued inventory,steps 10-12,and to go out and make amends.That did not leave this alkie much time to get into trouble with my defects.I do figure God will remove what He wants,when He wants,if I just continue onward on the pathway of the 12 steps.I have also found if I try and do the best I can at those last 3 steps,my defects are not so prominent as they used to be.Dang sure ain`t perfect,but better.It feels better, don`t it?
On my step 7
My sponsor used the archway to freedom as a illustration for me.When I got up from my knees after step 7,I was able to step thru that arch a free man.Free & I then had the tools to use to remain free,the first 7 steps.The promises had come true to a great extent half way thru the first 7 steps for me.My focus was then to be on continued inventory,steps 10-12,and to go out and make amends.That did not leave this alkie much time to get into trouble with my defects.I do figure God will remove what He wants,when He wants,if I just continue onward on the pathway of the 12 steps.I have also found if I try and do the best I can at those last 3 steps,my defects are not so prominent as they used to be.Dang sure ain`t perfect,but better.It feels better, don`t it?
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
I always liked p71 (I don't mean to steal Harry's thunder... I'm digging his posts too), well I didn't LIKE it but I sure could see how it applied to me:
...our crippling handicap had been out lack of humility. We had lacked the perspective to see that character-building and spiritual values had to come first, and that material satisfactions were not the purpose of living. Quite characteristically, we had gone all out in confusing the ends with the means. Instead of regarding the satisfaction of our material desires as the means we could live and function as human beings, we had taken thees satisfactions to be the final end and aim of life.
Quoted from the 12x12 Step 7, page 71, bottom 3rd of the page
boy oh boy.... that's the "defect" I haven't been able to shake.....yet (or "had removed" if you please) - being able to put not stress over material posessions, lack thereof or the loss thereof.
Like Harry said, this is one I have learned to kinda/sorta be content with steady (albeit slow - by my standards) improvement. This seems to also fall into the "courage to change the things we can" bracket for me.
Early in my recovery (the better part of the first 2 years probably) I used to look at defects like these (the one's that continued to hang around) as "evidence" that I had not worked parts of some of the steps....maybe even ALL of the steps - I didn't know. If "God could and would if He were sought" and these same things that I deemed "bad" or "unholy" were still hanging around.... that was evidence to me that I must be doing something wrong in working the steps.
Obviously, I had it more than a little twisted. No joke, it probably took the better part of 2 years to finally get it to make sense to me and really sink in. sometimes quickly, sometimes reeeeally realllllllly slowly.
It's part of my practice of humility today though... being able to accept that seeking God doesn't necessarily mean the removal of everything in my life I find objectionable. I don't LIKE that some of these things are still lingering but I'm ok with them now. I've come to grips with the concept of accepting a lot of things about myself that I'm not too fond of and I do my best to not act upon those thoughts when they pop up. Sometimes I do well in stifling them....other times, not so well. I'm not settling for them but I'm getting more content in spite of them. Maybe one day they'll be completely removed, maybe they won't - it's not my call. I'm working on my humility by accepting them and trying to be the best person I can be regardless.
...our crippling handicap had been out lack of humility. We had lacked the perspective to see that character-building and spiritual values had to come first, and that material satisfactions were not the purpose of living. Quite characteristically, we had gone all out in confusing the ends with the means. Instead of regarding the satisfaction of our material desires as the means we could live and function as human beings, we had taken thees satisfactions to be the final end and aim of life.
Quoted from the 12x12 Step 7, page 71, bottom 3rd of the page
boy oh boy.... that's the "defect" I haven't been able to shake.....yet (or "had removed" if you please) - being able to put not stress over material posessions, lack thereof or the loss thereof.
Like Harry said, this is one I have learned to kinda/sorta be content with steady (albeit slow - by my standards) improvement. This seems to also fall into the "courage to change the things we can" bracket for me.
Early in my recovery (the better part of the first 2 years probably) I used to look at defects like these (the one's that continued to hang around) as "evidence" that I had not worked parts of some of the steps....maybe even ALL of the steps - I didn't know. If "God could and would if He were sought" and these same things that I deemed "bad" or "unholy" were still hanging around.... that was evidence to me that I must be doing something wrong in working the steps.
Obviously, I had it more than a little twisted. No joke, it probably took the better part of 2 years to finally get it to make sense to me and really sink in. sometimes quickly, sometimes reeeeally realllllllly slowly.
It's part of my practice of humility today though... being able to accept that seeking God doesn't necessarily mean the removal of everything in my life I find objectionable. I don't LIKE that some of these things are still lingering but I'm ok with them now. I've come to grips with the concept of accepting a lot of things about myself that I'm not too fond of and I do my best to not act upon those thoughts when they pop up. Sometimes I do well in stifling them....other times, not so well. I'm not settling for them but I'm getting more content in spite of them. Maybe one day they'll be completely removed, maybe they won't - it's not my call. I'm working on my humility by accepting them and trying to be the best person I can be regardless.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lowell
Posts: 345
Originally Posted by DayTrader 
It's part of my practice of humility today though... being able to accept that seeking God doesn't necessarily mean the removal of everything in my life I find objectionable. I don't LIKE that some of these things are still lingering but I'm ok with them now. I've come to grips with the concept of accepting a lot of things about myself that I'm not too fond of and I do my best to not act upon those thoughts when they pop up. Sometimes I do well in stifling them....other times, not so well. I'm not settling for them but I'm getting more content in spite of them. Maybe one day they'll be completely removed, maybe they won't - it's not my call. I'm working on my humility by accepting them and trying to be the best person I can be regardless.
I thought that this would be appropiate for this also.
"A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it's an undo-it-yourself project."
– Abigail Van Buren
Thanks for sharing guys, I appreciate it a lot and hopefully these can help others.
Harry
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
We had lacked the perspective to see that character-building and spiritual values had to come first, and that material satisfactions were not the purpose of living.
Ya know..... I know that intuitively, I know it in my heart and I pretty-much do a good job at living it (by my standards...lol)...........right up until I lose one of my material possessions or when I see something I want that I can't have. How quickly all that can go RIGHT out the window as I have a quaint little temper-tantrum in my head. Thankfully they aren't as bad as they used to be and they don't last NEARLY as long as they used to!!!
Anyone have some "Fast Acting Defect-Remover" pills???
Ya know..... I know that intuitively, I know it in my heart and I pretty-much do a good job at living it (by my standards...lol)...........right up until I lose one of my material possessions or when I see something I want that I can't have. How quickly all that can go RIGHT out the window as I have a quaint little temper-tantrum in my head. Thankfully they aren't as bad as they used to be and they don't last NEARLY as long as they used to!!!
Anyone have some "Fast Acting Defect-Remover" pills???
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