digderidoo

Hi all,

I haven't posted here for a while.

In the run up to Christmas i have been gearing myself to a Christmas surrounded by people drinking and me not drinking.

Last Christmas in all honesty i hated. It was my first sober Christmas, i went to family who all got drunk on Christmas Day. So the question i have asked myself this year is what do i do?

Do i go and visit family, watch everyone get drunk....Do i spend the day on my own.....Or do i join in the festivities and drink.

I have been thinking like this for the last 3 or 4 days. Wondering if this time i will be ok, wondering if i can drink like a normal person, was it really that bad.

I have been given bottles of wine by customers of mine for Christmas. Last year i passed them on, this year i have kept them for a few days because i have been thinking like this.

I have given one of them away tonight to a neighbour and do intend giving the others away tomorrow.

I haven't been attending AA on a regular basis these last few weeks, i've still been using the phone but let the program and my meetings slip in all honesty, so i'm going to pick that up in the next couple of days.

I hate the thought of having a lonely Christmas, sometimes i remember the good partying times of drinking, which there were many. I wasn't one of these alcoholics whose every drink was a miserable one. I guess looking at those days and thinking about Christmas, makes me wonder whether i can drink normally.

Anyway, i thought the best thing to do with me thinking like this is to post here. I have phoned a couple of AA friends today and told them how i feel. I have been invited out tomorrow night with some AA'ers to a meal by one of them, which hopefully will get me back on track.

Paul

Pagekeeper

Thank you for your honesty.

Where are you on your steps?

Sober25

I'm glad to see you are reaching out to those who will understand and can help you. Personally I don't think you really want to drink, or you would not be posting here for help or talking with AA friends. In my opinion, you are reaching out for help because you don't want to feel the way you feel on the inside. I think that is also why you are thinking about drinking. Would you agree that you want to change the way you feel on the inside? Talk about this with your AA friends. Let them help you sort through what you are feeling, and why. You can get through this - if you value your sobriety. I'm thinking you do. How about those steps? Are you making any progress there? Do you have a sponsor? I wish you all the best. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss it one on one.

CarolD

Hi again Paul.....

This is one of my favorite BB quotes
and I've found it saved my sobriety in times of crisis

Dust off your book....back to basics time.

jimhere

Hey,

Don't feel like you are obligated to do the holiday thing. Do what is best for you. It isn't selfish to live your life to please yourself, you know.

Ago

Another word for Christmas is Friday

Clutch B

Glad you posted. I feel like this on occasion.

If you had so many "good partying times of drinking" ... why on earth did you stop?

Really -- why did you stop? Was drinking really so wonderful? Did it really make you so happy?

Sometimes it helps me to remember what made me want to stop. What made you want to stop?

Zak

Remember your last drunk was it really that fun? I think you better stay away from any place that makes drinking look good you might think you can control it this time but I think you know better it's always worse.Hold on 1 more week and it will be over

Music

I think you can do it all. Be gracious about the gifts of wine. Give the bottles as gifts to others who can handle it. Go see the family and when the drinking starts and people start to get bothersome, leave and go to a meeting. You can also ask an AA friend to go with you to these gatherings for support. Leave together and go to a meeting. Being sober is about learning how to deal with life things. We don't have to give anything up, just be smart about what we do. Merry Christmas.

barb dwyer

dig -

good to see ya again!
I agree with music.

And -
just to add, it SEEMS horrible abnout the drinking thing when our life sneaks around to trying to be centered on alcohol again.
Good for you reopening the meeting chapter in your life, meetings have been my lifeline. Literally.

And finally -
(a smidgen OT, but just more a ... 'pointer' than anything)
I don't watch tv, or read magazines this time of year. We've got many subliminal messages through advertising ( I know - I was a Commercial Art Major) that we don't even realize that puts us in that 'old' frame of mind.

Wishing you all the best!

yeahgr8

This came up in a meeting last night, couldn't get my head round it really...i used to drink everyday and never needed any encouragement....i guess if it is that big a problem for anyone then stay away at christmas from any and all activities that may involve other people drinking...work the steps and hopefully use that as a bridge to normal living for next year:-)

24hrsAday

that is exactly right Ago.. my sponsor always said of the Holidays.. "it's just Another Day" when my Sobriety comes First.. Everything Else comes Second!

findingout

Paul,

This, as they say, is not your best thinking.

The holidays can be a tough time to stay sober for us. But if you don't drink, you work your/the program, stay connected to other people in recovery, you will make it through sober and you will not regret it come January. You won't regret not drinking and your recovery will be stronger because of it.

This is my eighth sober holiday season and sometimes I still find myself re-imagining the merry intoxicated good old days. My family always got loaded when we were together and Christmas was just an extra reason to get extra loaded. But there were a lot of years when the holiday wasn't so merry and I know today that the alcohol didn't help. It made it worse.

I can say for sure that for the past 7 years, I've never found myself in the middle of July thinking "You know, last Christmas would have been so much better if only I had thrown away my sobriety."

Stay connected to recovery and don't drink even if Santa Claus comes down the chimney and wants to knock back a couple of shots.

Ribeye

"Do i go and visit family, watch everyone get drunk....Do i spend the day on my own.....Or do i join in the festivities and drink."

Are they the only 3 options available ?

Do you have any AA activities going on that day ? We have alkathon's and the like.
Or just work with another alcoholic if all else fails. I'm sure you can visit your family early on when they aren't too drunk and then excuse yourself and do something AA centered.

That seems like a better prospect then sitting around watching other people drink. JMHO, of course........

Ninsuna

OMG, Barb, you are not kidding! It seems lately all I can think about is Bailey's, Disaronno, and flutes of champagne - all the holiday themed booze ads are really messing with my head. I got sober in the summer when it's all light beer ads; hot chicks and images of tropical islands don't do much for me, but they sure have my number with the winter stuff.
I've been having those "was I really that bad?" thoughts too, Paul, and my solution is to have AA related commitments on the 24th-26th along with socialising with drinking friends so I don't have the option of drinking those days.

digderidoo

Thank you for the comments.

Time doesn't allow me to respond to each post individually, but want to let you all know they have helped.

I have decided not to drink at Christmas. The AA are doing a bit of a get together before one of the meetings, by putting on sandwiches, etc so i will go to that and have a quiet day.

Paul

Sober25

Good for you, Paul. Have a good Christmas.

24hrsAday

you won't Regret it Paul!

LovesToTravel

I never noticed that the ads and ALL the television shows spend much time on the "drinking" aspect. The soap operas are crazy they are drinking all the time but I have to remind myself that their glass of vodka is actually water. Have you ever noticed how much they pour into a glass? I realize that this isn't real but I suppose I was trying to make believe that it was (when I was drinking of course. I am so glad that I am not drinking and planning on staying that way over the holidays. Power to us all.....
)

barb dwyer

I've always had a very good time at the AA 'holiday events' ...
the Alano Club always puts on somethiung for holidays
where people are usually with their families...
for those of us who don't have a family

but it also reinforces for me
that I have a different family now.

Good for you!