AW2486

I stayed sober going to AA meetings, working the steps off the wall, and doing things cafeteria style for 20 years. It did work, but I had no idea what I was missing. Three years ago I went to a BB Study group and found the real program, felt reborn, and been making my best effort to live my life that way.

The Program - I learned there is a big difference from my conception doing the steps off the wall to the suggested ways of the BB. I think the majority still just go to meetings and do them off the wall. That's been my observation for my entire sober time. For the 20 years I did that, I did learn alot from those people.

The Fellowship - Was the major source of my sobriety in the first 20 yrs. They helped me, I would like to think I helped them. Being accountable to the group, Having friends in sobriety, ect. For along time I think the main reason why I went to meetings was more for social time than anything else. Today, Like Sugah said, AA meetings is the place to find people to work with.

AA meetings - The last three years, since I now have THE message to carry, the main reason I attend AA meetings is to carry THE message and be of service for those who want.

I was told early on.. people that go back using.. most of them stop going to AA meetings. In the time I've been sober and observing, That is true.

Can people stay live sober happy and free without meetings. Yes, I observed that too. I'm not sure I could.

Ago

This is my experience as well.

I have seen people go to meetings every day and either "pick up" after a long time, "go out" whatever, or not be able to "get it" and I have a fair number of friends in their "20's and 30's" (sobriety years) that don't attend meetings that are doing great.

If I go too long eventually I get "weird" but that's partially because without the reminder, I start dropping "the principals"

I mean the thing about making mistakes in all of my years is I now know what does and doesn't work for me.

In the last few decades I have "played out" almost every idiotic scenario there is in sobriety, early years the "sleeping around" guy, the "dryer then a popcorn fart" guy, the bleeding deacon, the "doing it right guy" and "you are all doing it wrong" guy, the "old timer that views with alarm for the good of AA"

Now I'm just a guy...or to be more precise

an average, garden variety alcoholic.

24hrsAday

i know i need my meetings.. i make as many as i can and i love my home group!

miss communicat

i underestimate the importance of fellowship often, but never do i undersetimate the importance of program, god, and service. meetings area good place to meet people and provide servicework, so i keep going.

CarolD

Hmmm....
After 8 years in Washington D.C. AA
I moved to Pensacola Fl. for 6
Now I have lived in Dallas Ga. for 10.

3 very different home groups....in size ...formats varied...
accents differed....and yet.....never have I considered
not being an active member of AA.....that absolutely
means I go to meetings.

Keep looking Ago....you will find a meeting that needs you.

Cathy31

Meetings are critical to my recovery. I like what Paul said. I 'get' that power every time I go to a meeting regardless of the 'quality' of shares (mine or theirs LOL!) I feel my HP very strongly when we come together in meetings. Like Carol I'm not planning on doing anything different re my approach - it's working, I"m sober, I"m happy. Unbelievable miracle.

Cathy31
x

navysteve

I love meetings where I hear a message of recovery. Unfortunately, I rarely hear one where I live now. I can travel further away from my town, but what about the newcomer who may only live 2miles from me?

Yes meetings are important to me because Chapter 7 of the Big Book tells me what will work when nothing else will:

INTENSIVE WORK WITH OTHER ALCOHOLICS!

There isn't much fellowship of the spirit for me lately. I spent my first year in my new area trying to make connections and nothing seemed to work. I do know how important that is and miss it terribly. We have a rehab meeting here on Thursday nights, I rarely miss it.

I did walk away from AA for a few years. I am glad I did that actually, because today no matter how bad my view may be of AA meetings, I go, because my sober life depends on me being of service, not hearing a good message. I am treasurer of one of the meetings here and once or twice a month I hit meetings away that fill me with a message I can take back and carry me through. I am in meetings today for the newcomer.

It ain't about me...

Ago

Like Carol says, it doesn't even occur to me to NOT go to meetings, it's hard wired into me
This is how I feel right now though.

The thing about everyone I "know" having decades is they all have very full lives. I make it "home" every few weeks but they have been busy.

It's like being lonely but lonely for "the fellowship of the spirit"

I too go to the meetings for the newcomer (because that feeds ME) but I am walking away from meetings without that part of me getting "fed" (fellowship of the spirit) so while my sobriety is solid it's not fun like it has been in the past.

I was very very lucky getting sober where I did with a fellowship as large and vigorous as we have. Bottom line is I am spoiled.

emmanuel2012

On a scale of 1 to ..say 12, I say they are.. a 5.

Loaded question!
1) 12 step programs claim not to be the ONLY method of recovery, so "the program"..I have to assume you mean, from the context of this forum (hehe) you mean the Program of Alcoholics Anonymmous.
2) AA as I understand it is a Fellowship, NOT a program.
3) all that is required to recover from a seemingly hopeless illness of alcohlism or addiction using tthe 12 steps of AA is a book (only part of one), and another individual to guide you [/that is practicing step 12 as a result of having a spirtual awakening using the STEPS
4) meetings can be useful to find sponsees to practice step 12, and to find a sponsor who is currently practcing step 12. Much easier to find a sponsor at a meeting than a grocery store heckout line over smalltalk, but I bet its be done!
5) AA meetings are not a replacement to working the 12 steps , but suggested as a supplement and convenient integrational environment to hellp our intellctual understanings of the 12 steps covernt into real working knowledge of them.

The fellowhip is to me a diverse collection of indivuals who have been attracted to, are practicing, or otherwise having some sort of stakehold in the 12 steps as outlined inchaper 5 "how it works" Alcoholics Anonymous (all editions with a BLUE cover).

The fellowship is a mere side effect of a few drunks helping each other.
Its great that its here for us. The fellowship isn't my WE. My WE is god and me.


Nowhere I know of in the blue big book of aa nor in most editions of "12 steps and 12 traditions" do they refer to the fellowship or any diret definition of thei "society" of AA as a "program"

I'm a computer programmer. Programs are a set of instructions to perform.
This structure is the 12 steps. Human error assumes tha the "program" of alcohlics
Anonymous will do work for them if they simply go to meetings.
Programs on a computer don't work unless you work with them. Taking action to USE the progam. Programs can be corrupted on a client computer and go haywire iif the package isn't installed and coonfigured property.. a computer doesn't do much bu process and store information as data, in sophicated ways. A program with a set of instructions can be used to simplify and unify the methods peoople have foound to help people live a better lufe from trial and error over years of failure. These failures have brought advancement and bugfixes that make it unneccassry for people now with the same problems as those who have recovered from a deadly illness to make similar mistakes, if they aare smart to use other peoples experience to learn and prevent similar misfortune from happening to others. In the end, AA is still not suggested directly in the literature a program,, its more of a successful ""Book Club". Book Clubs rarely downplay the importance of limiting the social importance over the purposes of discussion the CONTENT of the book we are collectively reading and sharing as a means to a better life for those who are ready to take certain actions for personal and spiritual transormation.

emmanuel2012

Steps classified as a program may not be the only solution.
However they seem to have worked for millionss of people.
And thank god for that.

12th step work is much easier because meeting are so popular. So I think they are important, but technically unnessary side effect of a brilliant few pieces of literature

RufusACanal

Meetings are important; next question please.

emmanuel2012

Small addendum,

Steps classified as a program may not be the only solution.
However they seem to have worked for millionss of people.
And thank god for that.

12th step work is much easier because meeting are so popular. So I think they are important, but technically unnessary side effect of a brilliant few pieces of literature

RufusACanal

Thank you for your post, but forgive me if I do not grasp your point. How is it that the only real forum where Alcoholics can gather and exchange vital information on a regular basis concerning their malady is unnecessary. For the newcomer who has a desire and for the ongoing recovery of the men and women who have come to grips with their personal powerlessness and unmanageability,the AA meeting is the best central repository and gathering place for like minded people who share experience, strength and hope that they may recover.

Twelve Step work insures not only that the message of Hope reaches the new person, but is the currency best used in order to live free daily.

Lofty, air filled statements will not provide the necessary advantages needed to recover; suggest it might be best to plant feet and follow directions. If AA is not your cup of tea, I wish you well on your journey as you look for solutions.

navysteve

Meetings are where people go seeking answers for alcoholism therefore they are essential for them and I. They need the solution I have found and I need to give that solution away in order to keep it.

jimhere

"I too go to the meetings for the newcomer (because that feeds ME) but I am walking away from meetings without that part of me getting "fed" (fellowship of the spirit) so while my sobriety is solid it's not fun like it has been in the past."

I'm right there with you Andrew. I think both needs must be met. If we are channels for the power and love of God to flow through, and it is just pouring out, but not being replenished, we quickly become exhausted and drained. At least that has been my experience.

Like Steve, I like to think that I go to meetings to give something back, but it's hard to give to people that aren't too interested in getting what you're giving. I don't find a lot of alcoholics that want to recover in the meetings around here, largely because there are too many meetings. Why do the work when you can just go to a meeting? So myself and a handful of others are doing our work in the local detoxes and I am thinking about getting clearance to go into the jail again. With the exception of my home group, and last week making a trip south to visit my old home group, I don't do meetings anymore.

Meetings don't feed my spirit much these days. I do think that it is OK to admit that I have spiritual needs. I think we "recovered" alkies need to have those needs met as well, usually through association with others on the path. Once again, we've taken to meeting outside of the regular meetings. And of course I have the practices that I've learned over the years.
Jim

McGowdog

The first A.A. was the title of a book describing a "program" of action. I don't think they had a name for the fellowship until they titled that book.

You could read the preamble and go with that, but my A.A. starts with the book, which included the 12 steps which are included in the first 176 pages of the book, and 12 traditions Long Form.

Meetings are important so long as you get your step work done. Otherwise, they are a sick place.

todd6138

We have so many more opportunities than the original group, including tons of meetings to go to. I believe I'll go to as many as possible; not to mention they were there to help me when i needed help; I know it helps others when i keep coming back.

Ready 2 Rock

Just to throw my 2 cents in.....

Personally, I prefer the term "Fellowship" to "Program".

The word "Program" just seems so spiritless.

Rob B

By working the program, one becomes a member of the less often talked of fellowship. The one that binds us together by our common solution. The Fellowship of the Spirit.

DaveBB164

I could fully understand that statement if you have never set foot in AA and don't know anyone in AA otherwise for the first time in a long while I am at a loss to say anything other than sadly you are not the first person I have known who thinks by attending AA they are in the program, (whatever that means),

the solution to alcoholism is God as we understand him, I found a relationship with God as I understand him when the obstacles that stood in my way of a relationship with my creator were removed by taking steps 1-12, which like Rob said made me a member of a much less often talked of fellowship,

I went to 7 to 9 meetings a week and fellowship until I was blue in the face, I may have been physically sober but I got sicker one day at a time until I wanted to blow my own head off to be rid of the pain,

through the clear cut directions ( program ) I found permanent, quality, free and happy and joyful sobriety - mental, physical and emotional freedom,

I can't get that from parking my lazy behind on a chair 7 nights a week.