bob_sapp

Some people just have no class or manners. This isn't just in AA, it's epidemic.

PaperDolls

True dat.

IO Storm

Dat true. Very. lol

Tazman53

So very true....... one of the things I love about crusty old timers is they will not hesitate to call someone on their crap, crosstalk in particular. The ones who do this are pretty old school and still show the utmost respect no matter who is sharing by being quiet and paying attention even though I am surre in many cases it is the same old crap in ways, but they have found the solution and gladly share that solution.

You know PD I was thinking if this is a discussion meeting perhaps you could bring up the topic of R E S P E C T!!!!!! Share about how when you were a newcomer it made it very difficult to hear the message when some folks were giggling, whispering, & crosstalking, share about how it still effects you.

jimhere

You know, I knew Don and I've heard him say something along those lines several times. But I've also heard him say "Don't mistake tolerance for permisiveness."

I've been know to ask people to take that kind of stuff outside. There is a former member of my current homegroup who is incredibly insensitive when it comes to this kind of stuff. We have a speaker meeting once a month and one time his cell phone rang (silently) and he answered it and then got up and walked right in front of the podium, talking on his phone. A few of us daid something to him about it. He actually got upset and left the group. Now I imagine that he is inflicting that kind of immature, self-centered crap on another group. Maybe one that isn't mature enough to know how to handle it and lets him get away with it.

The group I belonged to before this one is very structured. By an unspoken group conscience, and by that I mean that sponsors in the group bring up their sponsees to respect the group, one another, our guests, and AA as a whole, you don't see the kind of stuff that is the subject of this thread. If someone is speaking, we don't get up to get coffee and walk in front of him. If we left the room and came back, we waited until the person speaking was finished until we went to our seats. No getting up and wandering in and out to smoke or talk on the phone. Very little profanity. This is all the result of solid, principled sponsorship in the group.

So, while I might accept the person, I don't accept the behavior and will say something about it. To not do so is not living in the spirit of The First Tradition. The good of the group comes before the good of any individual in the group.
Jim

SeaHorse

Last night I was at a meeting where this guy was speaking loudly to another person (who was ignoring him but not telling him to b quiet either). He persisted in doing this loud talking while people were sharing. I put my finger to my lips like a librarian and went ''shhhh''...

He gave me a 'look' & got up to get a coffee & left the meeting early. If he has a resentment against me now, oh well, that is HIS problem.

Someone here mentioned 'social meetings'. um I have never heard of that. I go to meetings early and stay late to chat and enjoy the fellowship. I stay quiet & respect the speaker during the meeting itself, like 99% of the people there. There are also AA dances & conventions, picnics etc. where there is ample opportunity to have fun & socialize. There is a time & place for everything and loud chatter & giggling DURInG a meeting is not appropriate!

DaveBB164

I used to attend a discussion meeting where every time I started to share two women always started giggling and talking ( they both had teens of years sobriety ),

one meeting they started giggling and talking so I just stopped sharing and sat quiet, then they realized the whole meeting was focussed on them and they stopped, I asked them if they had something to share with the group, to which they replied no, I then asked them if they thought they were so sober they did nt need to listen and if they thought they were hindering or aiding the recovery of new people in the room and those who did want to listen,

after the meeting one of them apologized and said she thought about what I said and realized she was being disruptive and setting a bad example, the other one has not been to that meeting since.

Dave

CAPTAINZING2000

I find it often useful to have a paper and pen to jot down things in case, I need to talk to someone after the meeting. At the very least, you could tap a person on the shoulder and both leave the meeting room to talk.

chris1959

I got class man. When I was in my teens and woke up in my own puke on someone elses bathroom floor they always told me how much class I had.

As I got older and excused myself to go puke behind a tree and returned with it still in my beard and down the front of me they said, well at least you got manners dude.

And when they found me half dead behind a dumpster with a needle still in my arm and a 1/2 gallon of vodka by my side they said, he was always so well mannered and had such class.

It always makes me smile when I see or hear somebody complaining about anothers behavior.
I don't remember ever being at a meeting were anybody was so disruptive that it ruined the meeting. I have seen people being quieted by the chairperson and I myself am not afraid to tell someone to shut up,and I'm not offended when I'm told to keep it down. I have seen people storm out and get drunk and blame it on AA, but that's normal stuff. Those guys didn't need an excuse, they just wanted to drink.

It's not my meeting it's a meeting. It's not my program it's the program.

People are people. Some are taught and some are not.
Any time I'm upset I look at me not you. My primary purpose in life is to stay sober and help others achieve sobriety. Meetings are one part of the recovery process. Changing the way I think is another, and IMO most important.

It's none of my buisness what you think about me. It is my buisness what I think about you.