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What is prayer???

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Old 11-13-2008, 03:22 PM
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What is prayer???

I have heard alot of folks talking about prayer as a solution. What is prayer to you?? Are they words you say in the morning, or when you feel the need??? I personally never got instant relief from prayer. I do not pray on my knees. I was told early on to get on my knees every morning, when I stopped doing that, I started to feel the connection. I love what Emmet Fox said about contemplation being the highest form of prayer. Do you feel that way? I found that when I use prayer with my quiet time I get a stronger connection. I do not do quiet time. My brain don't empty too well. I do take the St. Francis prayer and contemplate ways I can incorporate the various stanzas into my day. For example:

How can I be a channel of Gods peace???

How can I show love where there is hatred???

I combine 10,11, and 12 in this manner. As I do this I begin to feel a stronger connection. (What used to be the hunch or occasional inspiration...)

Simply reciting prayers has done nothing for me, but I have seen the light go on in others. The other day I went back to maryland and had some time with a former sponsee, as we talked I remembered when we did his 3rd step. I saw the change hit him like a ton of bricks. It was amazing!

I am curious, how do you make use of prayer to help you throughout the day?
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Old 11-13-2008, 03:25 PM
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I start my daily prayers in the shower every morning, just talking to God. Then I continue throughout the day, asking for guidance and usually just rambling away. If people knew what I was talking to God about, they'd probably think I was nuts.

But it works for me
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Old 11-13-2008, 03:44 PM
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I don't say things to god, but what i do is repeat key spiritual reminders...

May *** find and follow their spiritual path...start with each person in the family..then work...then the different offices and then I end with

may the college of engineering find and follow their spiritual path...

I also say May I/We/specific other person...walk skillfully through our karma

When I did the 3rd step this time, my sponsor and I did it from the book which was meaningful to her and then we did it by my meaningful way from a spiritual reading I like.

I really believe that whatever has meaning to you is what will help you on your path...just as that is true for me.

Probably gve too much detail just don't know how else to explain the place of "prayer" in my program...:ghug
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Old 11-13-2008, 06:14 PM
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Steve,

For me it's God Conscious .. I believe in God of my understanding.. and I communicate using the inner voice we all have. Examples .. If I run a red light.. It's that voice says tells me I shouldn't have done it.. Or when I do good.. its the voice that makes me feel good about myself. That is my channel of communication to my HP.

I do formally pray in the morning using the directions on Step 11, along with some readings and the Step 3 prayer. I don't pray at night.. I should probably do that. Something for me to work on. I do keep in conscious contact with my HP during that day.

I do notice a difference if I skip my morning routine. So it does work
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Old 11-13-2008, 06:50 PM
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You know... this came up in a meeting recently (11th step - my husband brought it up, and he asks questions like you just have, navysteve). I've been thinking about your question since I read it a little while ago, and I remembered that meeting. A lot of folks were talking about "having to learn the right way to pray," and I thought - huh?? A couple of them said, "I never pray for myself." And I thought - huh???

I have a some criteria for prayer, kind of an understanding with my HP as I understand my HP, and if I'm mindful of that criteria, then I'm "doing it right."
  • Regardless of whom I'm praying for (myself or others), I do my best to make sure my motives aren't selfish or self-centered.
  • I say "please" - and that includes manners in prefacing the Serenity Prayer.
  • Very often, my prayers don't have words. That "please" might come in the form of welcoming a sense of humility at the start of a prayer.
  • I do my best to refrain from asking for specifics for anyone (me included). That implies I know my HP's will for them (or me).
  • If I'm praying for another person, I might envision that person bathed in light.
  • And, just like it makes me nuts when my kids only talk to me when they want something, I try to have conversation, be grateful, and express appreciation instead of asking only that my needs are met.

I do feel something when I pray. I feel peace that I'm doing my best to walk to path--in my view of the whole HP thing, trying to realign myself with the Universe.

I think it's valuable to share our views on prayer, meditation and spirituality in general. It's often looked on as a taboo topic--like politics. But, I know as someone who had no prayer life and didn't know where to start, those folks who were willing to share with me contributed so much to the foundation of my recovery.

Peace & Love,
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Old 11-13-2008, 07:44 PM
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For me ..prayer is many things.

I pray for guidance and forgivness
I pray in supplication for others
I pray to thank Him and to praise His glory

I have my formal prayer before sleep
others come as I need them during my day.

My prayers sustain me.
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Old 11-13-2008, 07:52 PM
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I am very careful at what I pray for. If I pray for patience then God gives me opportunity to be patient.
If I pray for strength I am givin a task to show my strength.
If I pray for rest, he'll give me so much to do in a day that I will rest well.

There is no right or wrong prayers. It's what is in your heart.
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Old 11-13-2008, 08:41 PM
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In the morning I pray for the strength & serenity to carry out God's will. I also pray for the strength to stay sober and I ask the Creator to take care of me when I don't have the strength.

Before bed, I give thanks for the day, even the stuff I have a hard time accepting. I also pray for my loved ones and people who are struggling.

Now that I think about it, I do "informally" pray quite a bit during the day - for acceptance, patience, tolerance, gratitude, peace. I pray for the knowledge to do the right thing when I am uncertain.

I have to take care to give thanks when my prayers are answered and they are answered every day. Even the "smaller" things. I can't take things for granted or take credit (did this most of my life, it doesn't work).

I don't know if it is prayer, but more & more I feel my Higher Power's presence when I know, in my heart, that I am doing the right thing. It usually involves helping others, using the gifts the Creator has given me. It's an awesome feeling!
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Old 11-13-2008, 10:16 PM
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Prayer has changed and evolved as I have progressed in my recovery. Personal prayer is just that, my personal time to connect. When looking for guidance I take a few minutes after praying in silence and listen. Allowing myself to take a few moments to just be connected. I have never asked to win the lottery or anything selfish but I have no problem letting my will be known in prayer because I always end with thy will be done and I accept what happens in life each day as being my HP's will whatever it may be.

An example of how thy will not mine works for me was when I was using the first part of the St. Francis prayer "make me an instrument of thy peace" I was praying for the oportunity to help others. It was during that time that peace came to me.

I am still very early in sobriety and I still lean towards isolation. Being around people I feel awkard, fear and anxiety. That is why I started praying throughout the day and it has helped me move through my fears. More and more my prayers during the day are becoming prayers of gratitude. My prayers are evolving in content.

I don't know what the right way to pray is but this so far is basically how prayer works for me. Thanks for the great thread Steve.
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Old 11-13-2008, 10:20 PM
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Last year I found a book at a second hand bookshop called
"Too busy to pray?" It cost $1.00. So I brought it and only read it this year.

It is a religous one but I am quick to see where religous people are right these days. And it is written by a guy who is a minister. The book covers things like How to pray, Why to Pray, What to pray for and of course How to listen for a reply.

So since I finshed the book I have a little ritual I follow which includes saying the 3rd step prayer
listing the things I am grateful for
asking that all my friends and family be taken care of (if anyone is having a hard time I mention them by name).

I also ask for forgiveness for any wrongs I think I have done, cursing is one I mentioned daily. Lol. I think I like it too much for god to take it away though.

I do pray for myself and ask God help me be a better mother to my daughter, to love myself the way God loves me and to take care of myself, the strength to serve others and at times to just get on with the day and do what I need to do, as sometimes I just want to lie in bed all day and watch TV!

I write all this (my prayers) down in a book.
This all takes awhile but I've all the time in the world these days.

Lastly, I recall something I read about prayer that says something like on days when things are all going wrong and there is not enough time in the world for even 5 minutes of prayer, one should take an hour.

For at least the first 2 years of my soberity I use to pray "Please God give me anough money to help me pay my phone bill." But I stopped doing this after I finally heard someone in a meeting say God wasn't Santa Claus. They'd probably been saying it for 2 years and for whatever reason it finally sunk in.

Last edited by lizw; 11-13-2008 at 10:24 PM. Reason: Phone bill example
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Old 11-14-2008, 03:37 AM
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Prayer for me is "positive reinforcement".

It is recognition that there are forces working in my life that I cannot see or understand but that I know it is there.
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Old 11-14-2008, 03:43 AM
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What is prayer to you??
Prayer........ for me, I feel there is no right or wrong way to pray, I just do it and I seem to get results, some of these results are no more then a feeling of comfort, sometimes it results in me saying something to some one in need that comes from some where other then me. My needs are met allowing me to freely pass on to others what has been freely given to me.

I really do not do much formal prayer except when doing step work and even then not all of that is formal, I find myself in silent prayer as I listen to a sponsee's question while working with him, simply asking to be given the ability to provide him with an answer that will allow him to grow. I kind of live in prayer a lot.

Many times my prayers are more like a conversation with my father who is long passed, simply seeking guidance or comfort and listening for or feeling the answer.

Are they words you say in the morning, or when you feel the need???
Both.

I personally never got instant relief from prayer.
I have on a few occasions, but usually I find relief after taking actions I am guided to take.

love what Emmet Fox said about contemplation being the highest form of prayer. Do you feel that way?
Yep!

I found that when I use prayer with my quiet time I get a stronger connection.
I am the same way, funny thing, when ever I find myself with unplanned quiet time I find myself in prayer and meditation.

Simply reciting prayers has done nothing for me, but I have seen the light go on in others.
I am the same way & I too have seen the light go on for others, I have only seen this in someone in early sobriety though, for many I feel it may have been the first sincere effort they have made in prayer and feeling even a faint result from prayer flips that switch on for them.

Great topic Steve with some excellent replies.
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Old 11-14-2008, 04:53 AM
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Steve,good stuff posted here!

I see I have a lot in common with everyone.
I usually lift up my mind and heart silently to God.I sit still and I usually feel a connection,and with that connection I feel a inner strength and goodness.Most days I do what the Big Book says on pages 86-88 and I might add a small line or two to it.Sometimes at night I might silently say a thank you.

At mealtime,I pray with my wife,and when my kids are here with us,I usually say a prayer before we eat.Short and sweet as they say.Nothing fancy,just to the point.I try and keep it on being thankful.

During the day sometimes I focus on "thy will be done" and it seems to keep my mind in focus when I do.

When I open my cell phone I see a picture of my grand daughter Grace,and I usually take a few seconds and say,God please be with Grace and (her sister)Faith today,may thy will be done.

Steve,one thing I have experienced,when I sit still and try and calm myself and pray,and then sit still and try to listen,it quietens my mind over time.It has took a long time,but for me,it works when I work it.
It was very hard to do at first

One of the hardest things for this alcoholic to do was sit still and be very quite.It disciplined my mind over time I guess.

I have tried the St Francis Pray like you do before too.It gave me focus,direction and purpose..Thats a good prayer to use as a guide in my opinion.


well,now that I think about it,I pray more than I realized.

great topic
have a good day!
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Old 11-14-2008, 05:01 AM
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Ever catch your self praying and not even know you were? LOL I have!
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Old 11-14-2008, 05:14 AM
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Great thread Steve.

You used the word that is critical for me in my praying -

channel of Gods peace
Prayer is about opening up channels between me and everything else. Channels of gratitude, of harmonisation, of tolerance, of optimism, of learning, so the list goes on.

When I neglect these channels they close down, I become isolated and spiritually sick again. This happens too frequently for my liking! Oh yeah, the channel of energy and activity, THAT one shuts down and this self soo quickly goes back to lazy and procrastinating!

Thanks you again for starting this thread. It's good to meditate on things like, what prayer means.
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Old 11-14-2008, 08:04 AM
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Yes, a good, postive thread. Very refreshing.

Like Carol said, prayer is many things to me and like others have said, prayer has evolved for me over the years.

I will say that in AA about all I've heard is that "prayer is talking and meditation is listening." True, but it is so much more. To me prayer and meditation are prayer. Silence is prayer, words are prayer, everything can be prayer if channeled in the right direction.

I've also found it hard to find real spiritual direction in AA. So I'm grateful that my sponsors have said to me "follow your heart, see where it takes you." I take the book's suggestion literally to seek out teachers and priests and books.

In my own practice, I practice Centering Prayer, which involves choosing a sacred word and sitting with it for twenty minutes in the morning and at night. I also have a sacred space set aside in my home that I sit in. I've also incprporated some Buddhist practices into my prayer life.

Effective prayer is action, like Saint Francis said. We talk of practicing these principles in all of our affairs. The holidays are coming up. The word holiday is rooted in "holy day." When you walk with God, everyday is a holy day, everywhere you walk is on sacred ground. To me practicing these principles is carrying the message. Practicing these principles is prayer, literally practicing The Presence of God.
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Old 11-14-2008, 08:35 AM
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I practice Centering Prayer
My sponsor and I speak of being "Centered" and how prayer and meditation lead to that.
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Old 11-14-2008, 09:04 AM
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Thought I'd share a quick story..........

In my first few days of sobriety I found a used book with the title "How To Pray", I knew prayer was something I needed to learn and the book was a helpful start.

One week into my sobriety I was in a mental hospital, I couldn't cope with the sober life and wanted to die. There was a young woman on the same floor, she walked around with a perpetual black cloud hanging over head, never smiling or showing much emotion.

A few days later, shortly before I checked out of that hospital, I was sitting quietly on my bed, reading that book on prayer. I also had my Big Book with me. I looked up to see that woman standing in the doorway. She asked me if I had any books to share, it was the first time I'd heard her speak.

I told her I was leaving, but I gave her the book on prayer and told her she could keep it. Her smile lit up the whole room, and gave me a glimmer of hope too. I hope she still has that book, and that God brought plenty of smiles to her.

Looking back, that was probably my first experience with a "God-shot".
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Old 11-14-2008, 11:52 AM
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Prayer - I think we could go pretty deep with this topic, but I will just stick to what I actually do

I have a few formal prayers that I recite in the morning. Often this changes to me contemplating or discussing in my head that which is around me. Like Jim said - my prayer practice was initiated in AA (3rd step prayer, 7th step prayer and a hundred other prayers found in the book)...but has been led in different directions.

I seek out spiritual matters today. From another post I recently wrote it could be gathered that I have spent a lot of time meeting those who have dedicated their lives to a higher purpose, reading books (if anyone ever mentions a book that they say blew them away or they think I will enjoy [including some that have been mentioned right here on SR] I usually head out and buy it). I even read the Varieties of Religious Experience...because of it's influence on early AA.

I have heard "the path is the goal"...and I think it sums it up pretty well. As long as I have dedicated time and practice, things will fall into place as they are intended to - whether I like it or not.
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Old 11-14-2008, 04:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Paulmh
Prayer is about opening up channels between me and everything else. Channels of gratitude, of harmonisation, of tolerance, of optimism, of learning, so the list goes on.
Fantastic ... thank you

Paul
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