a beer by mistake
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 22
a beer by mistake
I drank a beer by mistake!!
First off my name is Chris, I am a little over 4 yrs sober. About a week ago, while at our cabin, I grabbed what I thought was an n/a beer, put it in a can huggie and headed out to the dock. After finishing the whole thing, I realized it was an actual beer!
For clarification, we have never had that particular variety of beer there before, but my brother and I had had that one in an n/a before, so when I saw it in the cooler, I just assumed it was an n/a and never thought another thing.
I was not tempted to drink more, but was a bit freaked out about it.
I called my sponsor when I got back into town, at first she seemed like it was just a mistake, and that I should just consider whether I want to change my sobriety date, but no big deal.
later when talking to her, she seemed more inclined to think I had to change my sobriety date. I talked with another women, she thought i should just pray about it and if it is really bothering me, then change it.
I feel like changing my sobriety date is very defeating, I have worked so hard to have 4 years! I did not relapse, by changing it, it says to everyone that i drank...I do not want to start over with my date.
I feel like by changing my date, I am setting myself up for relapse, I feel like my resentments are building, I have already thought about quitting AA. ( and I actually like AA and my meetings)
has anyone had an experience like this??? Please share your experience, strength and hope with me. Thanks---Chris
(BTW---this is not a debate about drinking an N/A beer)
First off my name is Chris, I am a little over 4 yrs sober. About a week ago, while at our cabin, I grabbed what I thought was an n/a beer, put it in a can huggie and headed out to the dock. After finishing the whole thing, I realized it was an actual beer!
For clarification, we have never had that particular variety of beer there before, but my brother and I had had that one in an n/a before, so when I saw it in the cooler, I just assumed it was an n/a and never thought another thing.
I was not tempted to drink more, but was a bit freaked out about it.
I called my sponsor when I got back into town, at first she seemed like it was just a mistake, and that I should just consider whether I want to change my sobriety date, but no big deal.
later when talking to her, she seemed more inclined to think I had to change my sobriety date. I talked with another women, she thought i should just pray about it and if it is really bothering me, then change it.
I feel like changing my sobriety date is very defeating, I have worked so hard to have 4 years! I did not relapse, by changing it, it says to everyone that i drank...I do not want to start over with my date.
I feel like by changing my date, I am setting myself up for relapse, I feel like my resentments are building, I have already thought about quitting AA. ( and I actually like AA and my meetings)
has anyone had an experience like this??? Please share your experience, strength and hope with me. Thanks---Chris
(BTW---this is not a debate about drinking an N/A beer)
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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"(BTW---this is not a debate about drinking an N/A beer)"
Nope, there is no debate about N/A beer for me.
My own experience, strength, and hope recommends that you move on from this instance, and ask yourself what to do to ensure the 'mistake' can never happen again.
Keep coming back.
Nope, there is no debate about N/A beer for me.
My own experience, strength, and hope recommends that you move on from this instance, and ask yourself what to do to ensure the 'mistake' can never happen again.
Keep coming back.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
....Welcome to SR!For me...drinking a NA beer would mean
I would have already changed my DOS
No debate from me
However...
The only DOS I am accountable for is my own.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Welcome to SR.
Thanks for adding the disclaimer "this is not a debate over NA beer" at the bottom of your post. I will leave that subject alone.
As a sponsor I would ask me the following questions
If the intent was not to get drunk, high, or escape reality; you quit once you realized what it was; it didn't set off the obsession; and you can feel at peace with your HP not resetting your sobriety date, then I would say why reset it? It is your spiritual connection that needs to be maintained not mine. So it really has to do with how you feel inside about it rather than what my opinion would or wouldn't be. I can say what "I would do" all I want but until faced with a similiar situation I can not truly know how I would respond. Take care. Don't give up on AA. Remember it is principles not personalities.
Thanks for adding the disclaimer "this is not a debate over NA beer" at the bottom of your post. I will leave that subject alone.
As a sponsor I would ask me the following questions
- What was your intent when you drank it; to get drunk, to get high, to escape from reality, etc....
- Did you continue to drink once you realized it was alcohol?
- Did it set off cravings for you?
- Do you feel at peace with your HP regarding not changing your sobriety date?
If the intent was not to get drunk, high, or escape reality; you quit once you realized what it was; it didn't set off the obsession; and you can feel at peace with your HP not resetting your sobriety date, then I would say why reset it? It is your spiritual connection that needs to be maintained not mine. So it really has to do with how you feel inside about it rather than what my opinion would or wouldn't be. I can say what "I would do" all I want but until faced with a similiar situation I can not truly know how I would respond. Take care. Don't give up on AA. Remember it is principles not personalities.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
I don't drink na beer nor do I debate about it, either.
since you do drink na beer, though, and it seemed to have worked up until this "mistake" , then I guess its no reason to change your sobriety date.
the funny thing for me here is that I believe this IS yet one more solid reason, among others, why an alcoholic who is serious about recovery and sobriety not keep drinking beer, either na or a. a mistake is bound to happen. a mistake by any other name is a slip. and a slip by any other name is a relapse.
no debate there, for this A.
since you do drink na beer, though, and it seemed to have worked up until this "mistake" , then I guess its no reason to change your sobriety date.
the funny thing for me here is that I believe this IS yet one more solid reason, among others, why an alcoholic who is serious about recovery and sobriety not keep drinking beer, either na or a. a mistake is bound to happen. a mistake by any other name is a slip. and a slip by any other name is a relapse.
no debate there, for this A.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
That is a hard one. I hope you don't mind me asking a few questions for clarification.
Does n/a beer taste exactly like regular beer?
Did you only realize it was a real beer after you drank the entire thing?
If it looked just like a n/a beer when you put it in the koozie how were you able to tell the difference when you took it out?
Did it alter your state? I would have to assume so right?
Is that the only real beer you drank?
Did you continue to drink beer OR n/a beer after that?
(BTW, I sound clueless cause I was a wino
)
Does n/a beer taste exactly like regular beer?
Did you only realize it was a real beer after you drank the entire thing?
If it looked just like a n/a beer when you put it in the koozie how were you able to tell the difference when you took it out?
Did it alter your state? I would have to assume so right?
Is that the only real beer you drank?
Did you continue to drink beer OR n/a beer after that?
(BTW, I sound clueless cause I was a wino
)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Perth, West Oz
Posts: 8
IMHO, only you can decide whether to change your sobriety date. One of my barriers to getting sober was always being so pre-occupied with what impression I was giving others, in other words being dishonest to myself. My personal experience is that I invariably drank to get drunk and one beer would've done nothing for me, however I doubt I would have stopped at one. You were able to. I think the intention behind the drink is way more important than the actual act of drinking the beer.
I would base my decision on whether or not changing dates would be more beneficial to keeping you sober, what your sponsor (or others) think of your decision is none of their business. Remember, it's your life, not theirs, that is at stake.
Good Luck.
I would base my decision on whether or not changing dates would be more beneficial to keeping you sober, what your sponsor (or others) think of your decision is none of their business. Remember, it's your life, not theirs, that is at stake.
Good Luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 22
thanks for your responses
Thank-you for your responses--
to answer a few questions...
I did not realize it was a real beer, until I was done drinking it.
It was a St Pauli Girl, which I do not usually drink SPG n/a, so the taste thing, I guess it was different slightly than for instance an Odouls, but again, nothing to make me think.
what made me discover it was a real beer, I was just sitting on the dock, done drinking it and started picking at the label on the neck of the bottle, only then did I realize.
I do realize drinking an n/a is controversial and somewhat regional, so I do appreciate not being bashed over that choice. Not sure that I will choose to drink those again, though. And for clarification, I drink them only occasionally.
I did not drink any more after, n/a or anything.
Again, I of course, would change my date if i had drank the beer intentionally. My real issue is losing my "time" so to speak. And, I fear, being resentful at "starting over" and drinking just because I have to change my sobriety date anyway. These are fears, not something I would definitely do.
I also just want to say, I appreciate people's advice to follow MY higher power and not worry so much about other people think....this is a tough one for me.
Chris
to answer a few questions...
I did not realize it was a real beer, until I was done drinking it.
It was a St Pauli Girl, which I do not usually drink SPG n/a, so the taste thing, I guess it was different slightly than for instance an Odouls, but again, nothing to make me think.
what made me discover it was a real beer, I was just sitting on the dock, done drinking it and started picking at the label on the neck of the bottle, only then did I realize.
I do realize drinking an n/a is controversial and somewhat regional, so I do appreciate not being bashed over that choice. Not sure that I will choose to drink those again, though. And for clarification, I drink them only occasionally.
I did not drink any more after, n/a or anything.
Again, I of course, would change my date if i had drank the beer intentionally. My real issue is losing my "time" so to speak. And, I fear, being resentful at "starting over" and drinking just because I have to change my sobriety date anyway. These are fears, not something I would definitely do.
I also just want to say, I appreciate people's advice to follow MY higher power and not worry so much about other people think....this is a tough one for me.
Chris
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Southern New Hampshire
Posts: 746
In the now
Do what you will with your sobriety date, after a while, how long you've been sober is about bragging and taking credit for something that was God given. The only time that is of any importance is right now. It is ego that is attached to 4 years.
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
You are probably not going to like this question, but doesn't Odouls have alcohol in it? I have never heard of anyone I am in AA with or treatment ever drinking n/a beer. Hmmmm.
Well- If you truly had no idea it was a real beer, then why would you change your sobriety date?
My sponsor was at a wedding after 10 years of sobriety and someone thought it would be funny to order her a drink with alcohol in it and she drank it thinking it was non-alcoholic. She DID NOT change her sobriety date because she didn't know. It was a mistake, not a relapse.
Just my oppinion. I would not throw away 4 years, unless you knew it was a REAL beer.
Well- If you truly had no idea it was a real beer, then why would you change your sobriety date?
My sponsor was at a wedding after 10 years of sobriety and someone thought it would be funny to order her a drink with alcohol in it and she drank it thinking it was non-alcoholic. She DID NOT change her sobriety date because she didn't know. It was a mistake, not a relapse.
Just my oppinion. I would not throw away 4 years, unless you knew it was a REAL beer.
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
That was my thinking - the taste thing. I drank n/a beer only once, many years ago. It tasted horrible and not at all like real beer. And I would have felt the effects of drinking even one bottle of real beer.
But this isn't about pointing fingers. That was just my first thought.
If you honestly and truly did not realize it was beer until you had finished drinking it, then, well .. I guess you don't need to change your DOS.
But this isn't about pointing fingers. That was just my first thought.
If you honestly and truly did not realize it was beer until you had finished drinking it, then, well .. I guess you don't need to change your DOS.
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
"...I called my sponsor when I got back into town, at first she seemed like it was just a mistake, and that I should just consider whether I want to change my sobriety date, but no big deal.
later when talking to her, she seemed more inclined to think I had to change my sobriety date. I talked with another women, she thought i should just pray about it and if it is really bothering me, then change it..."
I guess, for me, the first thing I would do is talk with my sponsor to find out 'why' she feels the DOS needs to be changed.....then I'd do what the other woman said--pray about it and then....like the medallions say, "To Thine Own Self Be True...!
I would only change my DOS for me, and my own reasons, and NOT because my sponsor said I should.....jmho tho........... (o:
NoelleR
later when talking to her, she seemed more inclined to think I had to change my sobriety date. I talked with another women, she thought i should just pray about it and if it is really bothering me, then change it..."
I guess, for me, the first thing I would do is talk with my sponsor to find out 'why' she feels the DOS needs to be changed.....then I'd do what the other woman said--pray about it and then....like the medallions say, "To Thine Own Self Be True...!
I would only change my DOS for me, and my own reasons, and NOT because my sponsor said I should.....jmho tho........... (o:
NoelleR
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
There is a guy in our AA group that, coincidently, has 4 years of sobriety. He sponsors others and helps out quite a bit. The problem is that there is some gossip going around that he doesn’t actually have 4 years of sobriety because on some recent lifestyle choices. The gossip is not healthy for him, his sponsees, newcomers, or the group for that matter.
My opinion, for what it’s worth, is that your 4 years of sobriety is intact. There was no intention to drink and you thought you were drinking a non-alcoholic beer. If that is truly all there is to it, then there is no need to blow it out of proportion - eg. setting yourself up for relapse, quitting AA.
However, I would be open to the group about it. You don’t need people rolling their eyes, questioning your integrity every time you mention your sobriety date.
By the way, if someone brought this situation to an AA meeting that I attended, I wouldn't consider it to be a big deal, just an honest mistake.
My opinion, for what it’s worth, is that your 4 years of sobriety is intact. There was no intention to drink and you thought you were drinking a non-alcoholic beer. If that is truly all there is to it, then there is no need to blow it out of proportion - eg. setting yourself up for relapse, quitting AA.
However, I would be open to the group about it. You don’t need people rolling their eyes, questioning your integrity every time you mention your sobriety date.
By the way, if someone brought this situation to an AA meeting that I attended, I wouldn't consider it to be a big deal, just an honest mistake.
God's Kid
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,820
I don't drink NA beer nor know anyone in AA who does.
I do know of a few who drink a type og ginger beer that is 0.5 percent and think this is fine - would not be for me.
While I know this thread is not about drinking NA beer, saying that is a bit of a side step as if you didn't drink NA beer, you wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
So to change your SOD, it's up to you but I would be kicking the NA beer to the curb regardless.
And regarding folks who drink alcoholic drinks by mistake, I been told the first sip doesn't count (as we then should notice) but it's the second sip that does.
:atv
I do know of a few who drink a type og ginger beer that is 0.5 percent and think this is fine - would not be for me.
While I know this thread is not about drinking NA beer, saying that is a bit of a side step as if you didn't drink NA beer, you wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
So to change your SOD, it's up to you but I would be kicking the NA beer to the curb regardless.
And regarding folks who drink alcoholic drinks by mistake, I been told the first sip doesn't count (as we then should notice) but it's the second sip that does.
:atv
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
One of the most important things that I have learned in sobriety is that it's Ok to make a mistake from time to time. I no longer have to be perfect or pretend to be. I don't think I would remotley consider this a relapse.
It was an honest and genuine accident. You are entitled to them from time to time.
I would be more concerned about the triggering of a craving or some sort of a desire to drink more. That could be a physical craving or a mental craving where you would tell yourself that you handled one and did OK. Let's see if we can do one a day.
Those would be my concerns. But either way it wasn't intentional. I use mouthwash in the morning. I don't consider it drinking. There are those that don't. I don't and I don't want to debate either.
It's about the "Intent"
Now for the record. N/A Beer is not beer and is not even allowed to be called "Beer" It's called "Non Alcoholic Malt Beverage"
Mainly because it's regulated by the FDA and not the ATF
FDA guidelines state that if something is to be labeled "Non Alcoholic" is must "by law" contain less than .05% Alcohol and the bottle must state that it contains less than .05% Alcohol. That doesn't mean it contains .05% Alcohol, it just has to be labeled as such. In actuality it contains 0% Alcohol.
If they sold Mayonaise and called it "Non Alcoholic" Mayonaise it would have to be labeled just the same.
It was an honest and genuine accident. You are entitled to them from time to time.
I would be more concerned about the triggering of a craving or some sort of a desire to drink more. That could be a physical craving or a mental craving where you would tell yourself that you handled one and did OK. Let's see if we can do one a day.
Those would be my concerns. But either way it wasn't intentional. I use mouthwash in the morning. I don't consider it drinking. There are those that don't. I don't and I don't want to debate either.
It's about the "Intent"
Now for the record. N/A Beer is not beer and is not even allowed to be called "Beer" It's called "Non Alcoholic Malt Beverage"
Mainly because it's regulated by the FDA and not the ATF
FDA guidelines state that if something is to be labeled "Non Alcoholic" is must "by law" contain less than .05% Alcohol and the bottle must state that it contains less than .05% Alcohol. That doesn't mean it contains .05% Alcohol, it just has to be labeled as such. In actuality it contains 0% Alcohol.
If they sold Mayonaise and called it "Non Alcoholic" Mayonaise it would have to be labeled just the same.
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