moving on
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 542
moving on
Last week with my homework finished I sat down with my sponsor and we did step one. I'm in the middle of my homework for step two which we will go over later this week. I can see these first few steps will probably go quickly but I'm not expecting all of them to go that way. After getting to spend some extra time with my sponsor to get a overview of how the steps work I'm feeling good about where I'm at (spiritually, mentally, physically). The one thin I'm having to grasp is the WE factor of the steps. I've always been independent to the point of never asking for help. Now I realize the steps were not meant to be done alone just like sobriety was not meant to be done alone. It may seem like a simple concept to many but for me it was always an obstacle.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Newton Iowa
Posts: 157
Im proud of ya tkdan! It takes some people years to look at the "WE" part of step one. Asking others to help is hard when you are bullheaded like me.LOL
I always enjoy your post, you are off to a great start.
I always enjoy your post, you are off to a great start.
God is my benzo
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Charlotte, nc
Posts: 198
I'm the same way...
I know the best way to do things, I know the answer, I end up drunk and alone. It didn't work very well for me.
Check out page 17 of the big book. See how many times the word I is mentioned? how many for the word we? and what is the name of the chapter?
At least you noticed the word we at the beginning.
Your on the right track
I know the best way to do things, I know the answer, I end up drunk and alone. It didn't work very well for me.
Check out page 17 of the big book. See how many times the word I is mentioned? how many for the word we? and what is the name of the chapter?
At least you noticed the word we at the beginning.
Your on the right track
Dan....good for you!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Dan people like you make my heart sing, to see someone getting it!
Dan for me it was an evolution from "I" to "We". When I first got sober it was all about "I", "I" had to focus on me and what I needed to do to stay sober.
Some where along the path of working the steps I had an awakening, I can not say when it happened exactly but "I" suddenly became "We"!
"I" became aware that it was no longer about "I", "I" had become a part of "We"!
"We" was not just the fellowship of AA, the "We" was the world, mankind!!!
When "I" was drinking "I" was not a part of the world nor mankind, "I" was "I", am entity unto myself!
Today "I" is "We", I find my greatest joy in others and thier joy, I find joy in helping others.
Dan you have made my day and for that I thank you.
Dan for me it was an evolution from "I" to "We". When I first got sober it was all about "I", "I" had to focus on me and what I needed to do to stay sober.
Some where along the path of working the steps I had an awakening, I can not say when it happened exactly but "I" suddenly became "We"!
"I" became aware that it was no longer about "I", "I" had become a part of "We"!
"We" was not just the fellowship of AA, the "We" was the world, mankind!!!
When "I" was drinking "I" was not a part of the world nor mankind, "I" was "I", am entity unto myself!
Today "I" is "We", I find my greatest joy in others and thier joy, I find joy in helping others.
Dan you have made my day and for that I thank you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Me being the tried and true Taurus that I am, I too had difficulty with the 'we' part of this thing.
I hope you don't mind me sharing a now humorous story (wasn't so funny the day it happened) regarding my ego of astronomical proportions early in recovery.
I was attending all 4 meetings a week that we had available in my small town. I was pretty much taking the body to meetings in the hopes that the mind would eventually follow!
Somewhere around my 9 month mark I got upset with someone else in AA. I have no idea who it was, or what I was mad about, but by the time I was finished rolling that around in my pea brain I had developed a HUGE resentment against the entire AA group that day.
"Hmph! I'll show those butt heads. I just won't go to AA tonight and they will surely notice my glaring absence and come to my door, begging me to please come back and forgive them!"
The longer I thought about it, the more grandiose my thinking became until I had everyone screeching up in their cars to my house, marching up to my porch bearing a cake as a sign of repentance, and getting on their knees to ask my forgiveness! :rof
8 pm came, and I sat watching the clock. Surely someone would be showing up by 8:05!
Needless to say, when no one showed up at all, the meeting was long over, and there I sat in my house, I finally realized I had accomplished nothing more than cheating myself out of an hour of good fellowship. I ate some humble pie that night!
Thankfully my ego has deflated a bit over the years, and it is much easier to view it as a 'we' thing.
I hope you don't mind me sharing a now humorous story (wasn't so funny the day it happened) regarding my ego of astronomical proportions early in recovery.
I was attending all 4 meetings a week that we had available in my small town. I was pretty much taking the body to meetings in the hopes that the mind would eventually follow!
Somewhere around my 9 month mark I got upset with someone else in AA. I have no idea who it was, or what I was mad about, but by the time I was finished rolling that around in my pea brain I had developed a HUGE resentment against the entire AA group that day.
"Hmph! I'll show those butt heads. I just won't go to AA tonight and they will surely notice my glaring absence and come to my door, begging me to please come back and forgive them!"
The longer I thought about it, the more grandiose my thinking became until I had everyone screeching up in their cars to my house, marching up to my porch bearing a cake as a sign of repentance, and getting on their knees to ask my forgiveness! :rof
8 pm came, and I sat watching the clock. Surely someone would be showing up by 8:05!
Needless to say, when no one showed up at all, the meeting was long over, and there I sat in my house, I finally realized I had accomplished nothing more than cheating myself out of an hour of good fellowship. I ate some humble pie that night!
Thankfully my ego has deflated a bit over the years, and it is much easier to view it as a 'we' thing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 542
Thanks for the encouragement. I might have some idea about the WE part of doing the steps but I still struggle with the I aspect in many areas of life. I was so selfish because of my drinking that my family had to come second. The transition from thinking about what I want, what I expect from those around me, and whether or not I'm happy with the situation, to is the family getting what they need from me, am I doing what I should for the family, is the family happy with me as a husband and father, has been slow coming. There are many areas I need improvement concerning self. I feel good about where I'm at with AA and the steps, and believe through that I will begin to improve in the other areas of my life.
That's funny. Often when I thought I'd make someone I was mad at suffer I later realized I was the one that suffered.
I can not count how many times you sir and many others here have made me feel that way. It is neat how although it cannot replace it this site works the same way AA does. We get to share and read what others share and hopefully we all can gain from it.
"Hmph! I'll show those butt heads.
Dan you have made my day and for that I thank you.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
It is neat how although it cannot replace it this site works the same way AA does. We get to share and read what others share and hopefully we all can gain from it.
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