CarolD

Hmm...
AA - D.C. 8 years
Fl 6 years
Ga 9 years
Many others when traveling

And

I have not seen what some of you are referring to.


We are all on our journey....
let's continue to move forward.

Blessings

nandm

Thank you CarolD.

The program is more than just meetings, more than just the BB, more than just the fellowship, more than just the Steps, more than just service work, etc.....

I believe that the H.O.W. concept truly applies here. To successfully work a program one must be Honest, keep an Open mind, and have the Willingness to work the program to the best of their ability.

I can not be so caught up in how others behave or talk in meetings. I can only control my actions in those meetings. Change can start with one person. It is amazing how quickly the current of a meeting can change from whinning to recovery simply by one person speaking from the heart about recovery and solutions. We can not change other people.

There will always be someone or something that we do not agree with or think is right that is life. Individuality is an integral part of keeping the world going. I think what a horribly boring place this world would be if everyone thought and acted as I do. There would be no opportunity for me to learn new things, hear new ideas, make my own choices regarding those things.

I have watched my home group change over the past several years. It had been heading in the direction of a whinning session. What has brought it back around is participation in group conscious meetings by people who are solution based. This led to a change in the format of the meetings. We have an individual who picks our chair people ahead of time. The qualities we look for in a chair person are solution, BB based recovery. The topic of the meeting comes from a BB reading chosen by the chair person. And the homegroup members make an effort to keep the sharing on track with recovery. This is not done by embarrassing or calling anyone out. It is done by redirection to the topic at hand.

There are many meetings out there that I don't attend simply because they are not ones I find recovery oriented. I don't have the time to change the world but what I can change is myself, my attitude, and what meetings I choose to attend.

findingout

What A.A., at least in my tiny area of the world, offered me was the promises. It was pointed out early and often that these promises would come true, sometimes quickly, sometime slowly, if and only if I worked for them. I was left to make the connection that if the promises were not coming true in my life, I was not working for them but I don't recall anyone telling me that all I had to do was go to meetings.

We still read these promises aloud at every meeting of my first, dearest to my heart, home group, after we've read "How It Works." Another group alternates between "The Promises" and "How it Works." I've know some people with more time than me to grumble about these readings being repeated every meeting but to me they are the why I do it and the how I do it.

Two months ago I was in Jamaica and went to my first ever A.A. meeting outside the United States. I was nervous as I had no idea what to expect. There were 8 of us at that meeting - two Jamaicans, me, and five others from the states. The meeting started with the preamble and then same two readings. Following that, we took turns reading the entire second step chapter from the 12 & 12 and shared our experience, strength and hope as it related to the second step with just a little bit of how odd and yet comfortable it felt to be at a meeting on an island in the middle of the Caribbean. It was, in short, exactly like the meeting that was going on at my Wednesday night group at the same time, 1722 miles to the north.

I guess I must just be lucky, or my higher power gets me to meetings where I hear the message I need to hear?

sugErspun

My Wed night 'Home' group is one hour long. They open with the preamble - takes about 1 minute, it's a 15 minute speaker with the leader choosing whomever they want to share for up to 5 minutes thereafter. No more than 15 minutes for the main, no more than 5 minutes for whoever else is chosen. It is also stated that 'out of respect to the sharer, we do not applaud'.

Then there is 40 minutes of sharing (aside from the 15 minute speaker). Long form 7th is read as the hat is passed in silence. We close with the following (after some general info is given - other meetings, literature, grapevine) from the Foreward To Second Edition:

"Upon therapy for the alcoholic himself, we surley have no monopoly. Yet it is our great hope that all those who have yet found no answer may begin to find one in the pages of this book and will presently join us on the high road to a new freedom."

Those who have yet found no answer (even AA members) may begin to find one in the pages of this book.

It has been my experience, and shared by hundreds of others that I know in the area - that a program that revolves around the Big Book has opened their eyes. We are not in any delusion that it is the year 2007 (not 1939)and don't pretend or think that we are working the program like they did when it was written.

We just do what the book says to do.

I meet alcoholics all the time, who have significant sobriety, that can't tell you where steps one and two are in the book. A member of my extended family, God bless her, is 18 years sober next month readily admits that her program was not worked out of the book, and to her it is just another piece of the literature with all the other pieces on the rack.

She is 18 years sober, just dropped her sponsor and is seeing a shrink because her 'character defects have not been removed '(her words). I don't know how to approach her about this (essentially challenge her program), so I ask my sponsor and he points me back to the book...without hesitation:

We have no monopoly....only hope. Great hope.


~Adam

rabye

Yes Meetings Do Work!!!! Just Go To One And See All The Positive People Following The 12 Steps Cause They Want Too. It Works If You Want It Too, Keep Going Till U Are Ready.

savoy

The only thing that got me ready was drinking.

The ABC's of AA are not Ashtrays Brooms and Chairs.

I prefer 6 months of drinking to 10 yrs of sitting in AA suffocating under the cancerous idea that the miracle would happen in Gods time.
Gods time is always now,

I Am,

not I will be....or I was.

mike_mass

"I Am"....? you must be referring to the passage out of Exodus. So this God is the Judeo-Christian God of YOUR understanding. Why can't the meeting-maker have their own conception?

mike_mass

Worry about your own recovery. More harm is apt to be done by self-appointed overseers than by somewhat waywards members.

jimhere

??? Not quite sure I get your drift here. You are not one of those that are always looking for an argument just for the sake of the argument are you? Seems that here.

It doesn't matter to me what your conception is. Or what the meeting maker's conception is. Point is that if the meeting maker can't stay sober or is a miserable human being, what is the point?

It is not so much about belief as it is about action. I've seen many "good" Christians who couldn't stay sober. I've seen those who, just wishing to be rebellious adapt neo-pagan or wiccan beliefs and traditions that stayed dry and miserable. I've seen people do the same with new age beliefs and practices.

On the other hand, I've seen Christians, Wiccans, and many others, including professed athiests become sober and content by taking the action involved in the 12 Steps and making the principles a way of life. In that, the conception of God, whatever it may be either is discarded, changes, or grows.

Having said all of that, you miss the intent of this thread. Have a good day.
Jim

mike_mass

Hold on...Savoy referred to "I Am"...this is a direct quote out of the Bible...maybe he should answer the question. Aren't we allowed to choose a God of our understanding?

RufusACanal

How about giving this topic a rest and moving on to something exciting like hazing pigeons?

jimhere

Maybe Savoy was refering to the God of his understanding.

In another post on another thread I refered to a certain Jewish carpenter. It had nothing to do with my personal religious beliefs or with my conception of God.

If you read my post, (the whole post) you will see that I basically said what you've just stated. That yes we do choose our God as we understand it.

And once again, I'll state that it does no good have a conception of God, whatever that may be if no action is taken to enlargen upon that.

Seems to me that you want to debate for the sake of debate. What matters is that lives are at stake, not yours or my conception of God. I'm with Rufus, give it a rest. I won't answer any more posts of this nature.

And once more, have a good day unless you've got other plans.
Jim

mike_mass

Sorry if I am came off as abrasive, Jim. Yes, sometimes I do argue just for the sake of arguing. I'll try to temper postings to my own ESH.

RufusACanal

Excellent stuff.....fellowship does work! Now lets get to that thing where the new guy has to wash my car. TEASING !!!

miss communicat

nandm

You mean that isn't considered "service work"? :rotfxko

GrouchoTheCat

The new person or "Sponsee" if you will, is referred to in the big book as a Protege.

Noun 1.

protege - a person who receives support and protection from an influential patron who furthers the protege's career

recipient, receiver - a person who receives something

As far as I know, there is no mention of the word pigeon in the book.

What an insult.

GrouchoTheCat

I was miserable.

I really was. I was going to meetings every day with few exceptions.
I was able to get my job to agree to let me work a day shift so I could get to meetings every night.

And I was miserable.

I had a sponsor, a good man who I believe meant well. He was nice and we talked often.

I even made a very nice podium for our home group, and received many compliments.

I spent hours and hours here on SR every day.

And I was miserable.

I went on commitments once or twice a week and spoke at meetings and at detoxes out of town.

And I was miserable.

I got a few months together and I drank, over and over, and over again.

And I was miserable.

I was doing 90 in 90, I had a sponsor, I called him every day, I was praying morning and night.

I was making meetings and I wasn't making it.

And I was suicidal. Really suicidal.

I had come to a point where I could not stay sober, even though I was following all of the "directions" I heard at meetings.

My sponsor would tell me, "you'll do the steps when you're ready", or "There's an AWOL coming up soon, you can do the steps there".

I knew I was missing something, because I had gotten sober in '89 and had a great sponsor who took me through the steps. I did really great for some 4 years, thought I was cured, stopped going to meetings, lost touch with the sponsor, etc, etc, etc.

For the next 14 years or so, I tried to find recovery again. It seemed there just wasn't anyone around who could help me. Not their fault, they didn't know any better.

All I can say is, thank God I found the people I have found.

Yes, Carol they use the Big Book. A re-print of the first edition, which, by the way, was never copyrighted so is public domain literature. They pass a hat for coffee, rent and books.

When I asked a gentleman to be my sponsor, he thanked me and we are reading the big book together sentence by sentence. The only thing he asked was that I pass my experience of recovery to someone else when I am able.

I have also done my third step in a way that was powerful and meaningful to me, and I came away changed.

There are lots of folks in AA that seem to be doing great, but there are also a whole mess of people in AA that are miserable.

Carol, maybe the meetings you attend are all love and light and recovery, but around here it's mostly a large collection of whiners and complainers, and that is all the newcomer gets to hear. I would venture to guess that most meetings around here are about 95% crap and 5% solution.

Also, I do wish to point out to anyone that is hopeful of the promises coming true to simply read the next sentence. The promises are where they are in the book for a reason. I also would challenge you to read the sentence following the "how it works" that is read in most every meeting.

I am no longer miserable.

I have hope today.

kelsh

Hi Everyone,

I went to AA for one year...one meeting, maybe two a day. I had severe depression that I had been self-medicationg with alcohol. I sat in these meetings listening to everything. We had about 20 people at each meeting and today I wrote down the names of the people that I sobered up with and there are 10 women and 10 men still sober here or died sober ( six of the men after long sobriety).

I reduced the number of my meetings the second year of my sobriety to three times a week because I was going to college & working part time. Two of these meetings were at noon and one in the evening on Sunday.

I was one to look for the newcomer and usually always if we had a newcomer in our meeting we did the First Step. Since I do live in a rural community in WA State...a lot of us were at the other meetings and here we had a lot of court referred people. Most of them were around for most of two years until their deferred sentence was satisfied. Then they went back to drinking.

Some of our members went to in-patient or out-patient alcohol treatment. Some other members sobered up with AA. We had a couple 13 Steppers, a couple Big Book Thumpers, and a couple of guys who picked apart what everyone said about working their program. When these guys were at a meeting I chose to not speak. I did not need to be ridiculed by them.

As my depression got some better, with my antidepressant that my psychiatrist told me not to let anyone in my AA group talk me out of taking, I shared more and more in a meeting if the topic gave me the "gut" feeling or I related to or to help someone who was new to the program.

I worked the program and still work the program in my daily life. The Serenity Prayer has been my biggest help in times of not knowing if I can change something or not. I had to buy another big book because I keep giving mine away to ladies that don't have the where-with-all- or intentions to buy a book. I often felt if a person could afford to drink, they could afford to buy a big book.

My sponsor and I used to go to the County Jail and bring AA to the women there...most did choose to come and were in jail due to alcohol or drug charges.

My program fits me and me only. No one person can dictate to me what I should do to stay sober...I listened at the meetings I took what I knew would help me and left the rest...sometimes I would go back and pick up the rest. I found that sometimes I did not accept something that I really needed to be honest with myself. :ghug

kelsh

Music

Well Groucho, read Dr. Bob and The Good Old Timers and you'll discover that Dr. Bob coined the name "Pigeon" and used it in a loving and respectful manner in refering to his "babies" which is a term he also used.