kudzujean

Especially when I'm lonely. I also think this happens when I'm in a state of
free-floating irritability.

Some of these people I haven't had contact with for years. I think this is maybe just a matter of habit.

Anybody else ever dealt with this problem?

Kialua

Not fairly often but sometimes I think about the relatives that never understood and left me in my home. And then I wonder if they were just as bad to their families.

makomago

... I don't think of them often.

You reminded me of something someone once said in a meeting... he said, for those I don't like I pray for them. I do so because when I pray for them I've noticed they seem to go away.

At the time I was struggling and I thought... I've never heard of a better reason for prayer. Of course, that was then and I'm in a different 'place' now.

I'd like to think that understanding myself and my motivations better has helped in that regard... particularly step 4 work I did in AA (as opposed to my preferred ACA).

MikeH

I like Makomago's advice.

But, yes, I do the same thing.

You're making me think :-) [That's a good thing on this issue]. :-) I still haven't totally figured it out, - I'm not sure why I do it - but, as a child, I didn't like my mother or father because of what they did to me, but that's all I knew, so all of it was "normal." [And I'm still not sure that's completely correct.]

We are all "creatures of habit." When we grow up in a healthy, loving environment, we learn to be positive, loving people. I was raised in a very negative family with "drama" everywhere, so: guess what? I learned to be negative, and to use your [Kudzujean's] word, easily irritable. It takes lots of time and effort to change this.

kittycat3

Ha, you made me think too. Not often, but sometimes I think about ex boyfriends and want to google or look them up, even those that I have no desire to see ever again. And yes I tend to do this when I am lonely or dissatisfied.
I actually have learned to just move on in my thoughts, and I no longer indulge in the googling. It just isn't worth my time.

irisgardens

I did this a lot when my mother and sister (previously bff's--I thought--the 3 muskateers) told me what they really thought of me after Dad died...and they just cut me off like I had never existed. I had to pray and process a lot...and have continued to pray...as the poster above said and it is getting easier to detach myself when I have no control over the person or the situation.

kudzujean

I had an insight about this, yesterday, Thanksgiving Day.

Irritability was my "default setting" for much of my life and it's hard to get out of that. Most of the time now, thank goodness, that ISN'T my default setting. I think, though, in the morning it's easy for it to come back. Don't know why but if I get an insight about that, I'll post. :-)

MIRecovery

Sure fire cure is doing a forth step with a good sponsor. Resentments are fatal to the alcoholic