Kialua

I just read this obit and I have to say, it really struck me. The only place that I think I could share this would be here, because others here can relate and understand. This deceased is not labeled alcoholic but one wonders. I can totally understand the anger and frustration in this obit and would have done something like this if I had not had the religious conversion and freedom found in abstaining from alcohol combined with the help I've found in ACoA. (note the typo Sept. 30, 2013 sic. Name omitted by me)

Vicious obituary pulled from RGJ.com - My News 4 - KRNV, Reno, NV

UNEDITED VERSION OF THE SUBMITTED OBITUARY:
January 4, 1935 Sept. 30, 2013

M______ _______ born Jan 4, 1935 and died alone on Sept. 30, 2013. She is survived by her 6 of 8 children whom she spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible. While she neglected and abused her small children, she refused to allow anyone else to care or show compassion towards them. When they became adults she stalked and tortured anyone they dared to love. Everyone she met, adult or child was tortured by her cruelty and exposure to violence, criminal activity, vulgarity, and hatred of the gentle or kind human spirit.

On behalf of her children whom she so abrasively exposed to her evil and violent life, we celebrate her passing from this earth and hope she lives in the afterlife reliving each gesture of violence, cruelty, and shame that she delivered on her children. Her surviving children will now live the rest of their lives with the peace of knowing their nightmare finally has some form of closure.

Most of us have found peace in helping those who have been exposed to child abuse and hope this message of her final passing can revive our message that abusing children is unforgiveable, shameless, and should not be tolerated in a “humane society”. Our greatest wish now, is to stimulate a national movement that mandates a purposeful and dedicated war against child abuse in the United States of America.

Kialua

Here is the rest of the story, why they wrote what they did
Story behind scathing obituary revealed - My News 4 - KRNV, Reno, NV

DesertEyes

I hope those adult children can find recovery, in whatever form works for them. Remaining in anger _after_ the abuser is no longer a danger is just as bad as remaining in the abuse. Perhaps they will find some relief as a result of the attention created by the obit.

Mike

tromboneliness

The headline should have read, "Honest obituary pulled because of societal denial that stuff like this happens."

T

ProgressNotPerfection

They should start their campaign against abuse by suing the paper for pulling it.

Kialua

This struck a chord with me because, as I have shared before, I and some of my siblings were beat daily and brutally for our 18 year stint at home. When my alcoholic father died after a few years of sobriety, his funeral was packed with people that just loved him. They were crying and carrying on and wishing me well. I was astonished, I viewed him, correctly, as a monster. I didn't know that no one else knew. The whole time I wanted to stand up in church and tell them all! But of course I didn't. We had reconciled years earlier due to my beliefs alone, but he could have cared less. He just thought he had won and I was being nice.

I'm not advocating anyone do this type of obituary, but it's amazing the lengths others like the newspaper and other media pundits will go to to participate in the charade and not recognize the reality of abuse and it's long term affects.

ProgressNotPerfection

I went through the same thing when my dad died. All I could say was "I guess things are different when they are your parent."

tromboneliness

One of my aunts told me, in reference to the constant fighting, "Oh, you can't take it personally -- that's just how they were!"

What am I supposed to say to that?

ProgressNotPerfection

How about "It really is a family disease, isn't it?"

Or "Nothing gets more personal than abuse."

I hear ya.

NWGRITS

I always have to bite my tongue when people talk about how great my AM is.

tromboneliness

Back in 2011, when I was cleaning out my parents' house in preparation to sell it (this is after my Dad died in 2010), I'd stop -- usually in the late afternoon -- and try calling one of their old friends, just to say hello, make sure they knew that my parents had died, and try to get a bit of their perspective on them.

I talked to several of these fossilized relics from a bygone era, but eventually gave up on it -- because basically none of them had any idea what it would have been like to be their kid. There was one -- this guy must be 95 or so by now -- who had known both of my parents before they were married, and said that he had warned my Dad that my Mom was crazy (really bad bipolar, which was true -- and back then, they didn't have much in the way of meds for it).

What I was missing, of course, is that naturally, my parents' friends were going to be hard-drinking psychos like they were, and thus unable to get the concept of family life being anything other than a nonstop party, and how could any kid have a problem with that? Ya, OK, I'll get back to you on that....

T