Willybluedog

I was reading my big red book and in there it says you are not a serious candidate for ACOA if you are drinking, using illegal drugs or taking prescription medications.

Now I obviously don't have a problem with not drinking and not taking illegal drugs, but I am not in any position (medically) to give up my prescription drugs.

Has anyone dealt with this issue, am I worrying unnecessarily?

Thanks,

Bill

m1k3

My guess is that they mean coming to a meeting where you are impaired on something, legal or not. I don't thing I could handle a meeting very well if I had been just taking painkillers or something.

Just my thoughts.

Your friend,

tromboneliness

Where does it say that? It must be on a page I missed.

My sponsor says that there is a special breed of AA Nazi who will tell you that you're not sober if you're taking any drug, even a medication that has been prescribed for you -- but as far as I'm concerned, that's nonsense. It may have been true 60 years ago, but these days, come on, get real.

(Yes, I have a couple of 'scrips -- Prozac and Adderall, if you must know. They both seem to help....)

T

Willybluedog

Trait 13

Chapter 1 Page 13

"However , an addicted adult child often surpasses the parenrs dysfunctional behavior in drug use and actions. ACA works best for those abstaining from alcohol, drugs, and prescription medications. We cannot work an effective program if we are dosing ourselves with alcohol or drugs. At the same time, ACA members should consult their doctor before making a decision to abstain from medication."

I am being treated for a variety of things, but the two that effect me the most are depression and nerve damage. I could not function without my meds for these, I also have a script for painkillers but only take them on the rare occasion when things get so very bad that I am just horrible to be around.

I just didn't want to get to a meeting and have someone tell me you are not sober and therefore not welcome.

Do you think I should check with the meeting contact on the website before I attend?

Plath

I wasn't aware that abstinence was required for going to ACoA meetings?

I have had issues with drugs and alcohol in my life, and attended AA and NA meetings for years. Now, I sometimes have a glass of red wine in the evening, and occasionally go out with friends, but I have no reason to believe that this is affecting my life adversely.

Thus, I no longer attend AA or NA, and have sought ACoA, as I believe that it more accurately addresses my core issues, and the triggers that continue to affect my life.

I'm with you here, Bill. Can someone please clarify what is expected of ACoA members as far as sobriety and prescription medication is concerned? I plan to attend my first face-to-face meeting tonight, and I would also like to know what to expect along these lines.
Thank you for sharing, Bill.

DesertEyes

Good thread, and good questions.

This particular quote from the "Red Book" needs to be read completely.

It means that if a person has "dysfunctional behavior" caused by incorrect use of alcohol, drugs or prescription medications they should handle those chemical problems _first_. They key point is the "dysfunctional behavior".

The quote also says to work _with_ your doctor before making _any_ changes to prescribed medication.

There is a separate point that is not mentioned in this quote. That is the _context_ of a meeting of ACoA. The people who attend those meetings are dealing with the damage caused from being raised in an alcoholic family. That means they are still very sensitive to a number of "issues". They are working on those issues, but are not healed from them yet.

Imagine a young lady or young man who as a child was repeatedly raped by an alcoholic father or uncle. She, or he, will be very sensitive to a lot of things that remind her of that horror.

Imagine now a person walking into a meeting having had just _one_ glass of wine. A perfectly normal drink for a normal person. However, to that young ACoA with a history of rape the _smell_ of wine will take them back to a horribly painful time.

Out of respect for the pain and horrors that some of these people have survived we ask that folks who attend meetings take care not to accidentally "trigger" that pain. Things like _not_ having a glass of wine are far more helpful than you would think.

Likewise, if your prescribed medication makes you a bit dizzy, or makes you slur your words, then we ask that you work with your doctor so that you do not accidentally trigger those ACoA's who are dealing with terrible pain.

Mike
Moderator, SoberRecovery

Willybluedog

Thanks Mike, I just found the whole thing confusing, I just wanted to be sure I was not walking into a meeting for the first time and making a mistake right off the bat.

Once again you have been a huge help to me.

Bill

Plath

Ditto, thank you both--Bill for posting the thread, and Mike for your input.

Personally, I would never go to a meeting after having even one glass of wine, as it would seem pretty inconsiderate (not to mention irresponsible), but it's nice to know that I won't be kicked out if I'm not abstaining from alcohol or prescription medication altogether in my personal life (I also have to take prescription medication, but I do so responsibly and as directed).

Thanks again, very helpful!

tromboneliness

Ah, okay -- this part, I totally agree with. (Frankly, I don't get why anyone who grew up in an alcoholic family would drink in the first place -- I haven't had a drink since my wife got sober. The stuff is poison -- why mess with it? But I digress.) I get uncomfortable when someone at an ACA or Al-Anon meeting mentions that they have a drink from time to time. That's their privilege, but I don't get it; why tempt fate like that?

Certainly, an ACA who abuses prescription drugs is not working the program very well. But as far as psych meds, taken as directed under the supervision of a psychiatrist, are concerned, to say an ACA shouldn't do that is just wrong. The Red Book gets a little high-handed at times, and I think this is one of those times. If the authors -- with their incessant use of the royal "we" -- could have seen my Mom when she was off her meds (or back in the '50s, before they had any meds to go on), then see how she was when properly medicated, they would change their tune. No meds: she was extremely bad bipolar, institutionalized for years, then crazy at home, multiple suicide attempts, insane behavior, and generally nuts. With the right meds: smart, even-tempered, capable of holding down good jobs and getting a Master's from Harvard in one of their toughest graduate programs.

Saying that my Mom should have tried to get sane without medication would be like saying that an alcoholic should be ashamed of himself for having no self-control, willpower, and moral character. In each case, it's a physical disease, with roots in brain chemistry and various other things that are not fully understood.

Anyhow, I think the book probably doesn't mean to suggest that a little medication is out of bounds (although, as I say, my sponsor says he's run into people in AA who say "you're not sober if you're taking anything") -- they're mostly talking about abusing legal drugs... or they're just wrong!

T

Plath

It's good to know that the mere mention of this may make people uncomfortable, and I thank you for drawing my attention to that. I'll ponder on how/if I want to disclose that at my first face-to-face meeting, if at all, except with a sponsor, perhaps.

Some of us grew up in environments where the alcoholism was not as noticeable as the dysfunctional behavior, and thus alcohol doesn't evoke the same painful memories.
But I think it's in good standing to upset traumatized and/or injured people as little as possible when meetings are to be a safe place for us to talk about our experiences and feelings, so I thank you all for your input (and apologize if I've caused any discomfort with anything I've said).

...and yes, I one hundred percent agree that if people need psych meds of any sort, for whatever reason, it has no bearing on your recovery, provided you take them as prescribed and are honest with yourself, your sponsor, and your doctor.

Kialua

T, wow this truly inspirational, my sister would never stay on her meds for her paranoia etc,. congratulations to your mom on her success. That's so amazing!

Bill, I agree about the abuse of meds, but the normal prescription use that must be followed is your choice. I know where you are coming from with pain meds. Right now I am careful taking Vicodine for pain, though it's not really helping. I have to watch myself, but I still need to take them. Nothing like me crying all day and night med free but in pain, can't live like that. p.s. I got a shot of some new filler in my knee yesterday, says it can relieve pain for up to a year! Hope so.

Plath

Yikes! Those of you on pain meds, I hope you are all feeling better today than you did yesterday...

I also agree that when someone is legitimately in pain and they need to take medication like Vicodin, or whatever is prescribed, to do so responsibly and as directed should not cause anyone to feel ashamed, or like they are abusing substances.

I just wanted to add my two cents of encouragement there, as I have always felt that it is extremely judgmental for those who are working programs of sobriety to judge others for taking medication that they need to take in order to function.

I have the luxury of not needing to take painkillers, which I am very grateful for. For those of you who do not have that luxury, I hope that you will continue to do whatever you need to do to take care of yourselves.

Kialua

Thanks so much. I for one, am feeling better today.

I know that people can and do abuse prescription medicine just as much as illegal drugs. But many of us don't. Especially when we have this background in common. The last thing I want is to be hooked on anything that could give me the chaos of my childhood.

I think I shared that my Mom did abused prescription meds. My Dad was the alcoholic but she was the enabler/martyr. I worked at the neighborhood drugstore in high school and the pharmacist took me aside one day to tell me that my Mom had 19 prescription pain meds all from different doctors. He would no longer fill them. She was totally convinced she was in pain and went from doctor to doctor collecting Rx's because sooner or later they each told her that it was not real pain but emotional and she had to deal with it. She did finally deal with it (somewhat) pared down to 12 meds, and lived to 97 in perfectly good health.

Plath

What a great thread, and great input.
I'm so glad that I decided to come back to this site.
Thanks again to all for sharing/posting, I can feel the community support here, and it's so comforting!