dollydo

My brother had a nice Christmas Eve dinner at his new home. It was just the three of us, my mother the alkie, me and my brother.

Mom was drinking her manhattans, we ate dinner, and I was cleaning up. My mother complained that she was having to pay $30.00 per month to keep her phone (land line) she put on vacation while she is here in Florida.

I suggested that maybe she could just use her cell phone and thus save herself a land line fee, she started screaming at me that I did not understand, she is going on 86 and can't hear that well on her cell phone...an old piece of crap (that's another story) so, I say, maybe having your hearing checked might help. She went off her rocker, totally lost it.

So, I got my purse and told her I was no longer going to take her abuse, and was leaving, I was done, and I am.

She is one of the nastiest, demented people I have ever been exposed to.
Been drinking for 65 years, always hooked up with other drunks, and always put her men before her children. She has always been verbably abusive, and as a child she physically abused me.

I feel bad that I left, my brother is now stuck with her, he has to drive her home, a 1 hour drive. I picked her up, sorry brother, she is now all yours to deal with.

Hope that everyone elses Christmas Eve will be better than mine.

EveningRose

((((dolly))))

I'm so sorry. It seems if you drove her, it's an equal share of the burden if he now brings her home. I hope the rest of your Christmas is peaceful.

chicory

(((Dolly)))
I am sorry that your mom has to ruin the times you are together. I admire that you give her time at all. It must seem useless to try, when she is not trying to make amends or to make things even bearable now. You don't deserve that.

I too hope that the rest of your Christmas is much better. I hope you can shake it off, and accept that she is what she wants to be, and that is no way any reflection on you .
Put her out of your mind, treat yourself to something enjoyable, and know that your friends love you. Her sickness does not have to ruin your life. She chooses it, and that is so selfish.
live your best , happiest life . Let her go. Take care of Dollydo.

Wishing you joy, and peace, and good things Dolly.

Jeff63

You're right, you don't have to take it.

dollydo

Thanks all, I appreciate your responses and support.

This has been one heck of a week. On Thursday I took her for her preop physical for her cataract surgery, she was mad because she had to take the physical and pitched a loud fit at the check in counter. The doctor came out and asked me to calm her down or we would have to leave, I attempted to reason with her, she all but spat in my face, although she finally calmed down and went forward with the physical. That
was a nightmare...and her surgery is Jan 4, I wonder who is going to drive her there, it isn't going to be me.

Due to her drinking and abuse, as an adult I have gone no contact twice, once for 4 years, another for 10, the last one was after a Thanksgiving at my home, she was drunk and was telling all the other guests to F off, boy that was a Thanksgiving to remember!

So, as of today, we are on a time out, I am going no contact...done for now.

Ho, Ho, Ho and Happy Holidays To All!

Willybluedog

Dolly,

So sorry, I hope the rest of the holidays go better, will say a prayer for you.

Big hugs,

Bill

GingerM

Good for you! I hope you can find some peace tomorrow, but if it's still chewing on you, remember that you have plenty of people here who know what it's like, who've been there, and who you don't really need to explain much to in order for us to understand why you would walk out.

I'll send as much calm peaceful energy your way as I can spare.

JessSid

I'm sorry your Manhattan drinking momma disturbed your peace. It's always about them ins't it! Glad you have ACOA tools to keep your head in the right place. Merry Christmas!

dollydo

I TT my brother today, he said after I left, she started crying and blasted him, told him that she didn't like the way we talked to her...HUH? My brother is a easy going guy, and I don't believe that he has ever raised his voice to her, no matter what she said or did. Me, yes, I have lost it about 3 times over the last 50 years, when the abuse got to the point that I could not handle it anymore, I would finally blow.

My brother is just flabbergasted, he can't believe her mouth and actions, he gave her a gift card for a restaurant she likes, when she walked out to the car, she tossed it in the driveway and told him to go to h@ll. And, that she did not need either of us, we were both useless and losers...Wow! Sorry I missed that!

I left because I knew that she was not finished with me...now us. B/4 it was only me, my brother could do no wrong, now as he says it "I have a bullseye on my back"...yes my
brother...welcome to my world.

So, that's the happy update on my Christmas magic!

My brother and I are fine, we are just kicking back today and enjoying our peace!

tromboneliness

That's what I like about this place -- you guys get it! Those people out there, including most of my relatives, do not.

A lot of that sounded familiar -- right down to the Manhattans, which my Dad, not long before he expired at 90, would get up in the middle of the night and have a couple of.

Today consisted of me and the Mrs. not leaving our apartment. No drama, no stress, who needs all that?

T

GingerM

So glad to hear that, dolly. A good dose of kicking back is welcome year 'round, but especially at this time of year!