concreteangel

I have therapy today, but needed to post. You know when you can feel the hate in a room? I feel that everyday with my dad. He does things that he knows will annoy me to death. Such as the other night, he walked in from work. The dog ran up to him, all exicted. She jumped up like she normally does and he started talking nicely to her. Then he noticed me when I said something, and he kicked the dog across the kitchen and had some choice words for me. He walked into the living room and sat down. As soon as I got out of the kitchen, I heard him go in and play with the dog. Oy vey...

journeygal

I cannot believe he kicked the dog across the kitchen. I would be so pissed!!! I have two dogs so that's a huge trigger for me. What a jerk.

I remember feeling that hate. Some days I would walk past my dad, and he would call me a bitch under his breath. How mature is that???? But the thing was, I was so hurt by it. I started crying after one incident. My mom saw me, asked what was wrong. Why did I tell her? She told me to stop being so sensitive and get over it. I was hurt by that too.

As hard as it is to accept, whatever problems your dad has, it's not your fault. He's got some serious issues and right now he can only deal with it by lashing out at everyone around him. No, I am NOT excusing his behavior. But I don't want you to think it's b/c of something you said or did. It's his junk, his issues. You didn't do anything to deserve his hateful behavior.

Please give your dog some hugs from me.

Take care,
JG

Paulie

Hugs to them from me too. I hate when people use animals for their aggression like that.

And what JG says is so right, this has nothing to do with you.

Your user name, or the song, almost makes me cry when I hear it.

concreteangel

Thanks for replying guys...
I was crying, and my mom pretended that I wasen't. Ughh... Sometimes when I'm crying, she tells me that he isn't worth it. He might not be worth it, but it still hurts. I love that song, it is so sad though. Lately, I've been listening to Perfect by Simple Plan. I'll post the lyrics, it seems to fit what I am feeling exactly.

Simple Plan Perfect lyrics
Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan
And do you think I'm wasting my time
Doing things I wanna do
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
Can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me

Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
But you don't understand

Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

Paulie

That is sad.