splendra

Hearing my name too much in one day can really get on my nerves. I feel like this is a acoa issue. When I was a child I hated my name. I liked getting nicknamed.

Yesterday when I went to work everyone shouted out my name when I came in the door. I felt kinda like Norm on "Cheers" anyway I had not been in in a couple of days and I suppose everyone was glad to see me but I heard my name all day long and it was really starting to get on my nerves. I know they really like me at work and they miss me when I am not there. They all want my attention I know this.... but still I hate hearing my name so much.

I hate when I get a sales pitch and the person says my name over and over it is a guarantee that I will not buy whatever they are trying to sell.

I feel like my name is mud sometimes because of some recent issues with credit and identity theft. It is really hard for me to deal with.

Peter

I still cringe sometimes when I hear my name....

kj3880

me too. i always like a nickname. maybe we have some self-loathing in common???
KJ

GiveLove

I never heard my name at home unless I'd done something "wrong" and someone wanted to suck me into the alcoholic drama.

So I cringe too, Peter.

It's taken me years to really internalize this, and to work to fix it....sigh...

splendra

I am sure my name was used to call me into some kind of drama or to tell me what I did wrong too. I am sure it is about self loathing too and I am working on it too double heavy sigh***

tromboneliness

This is interesting.... I'm not sure I cringe at hearing my name -- but I certainly hate it when my phone rings. That's because it's often my Dad (who has come back into my life at an advanced age, and long after I thought I'd worked out most of the issues, it's apparent that I haven't)... and I usually don't want to talk to him. "The dreaded buzz," I call it, when the phone goes off. Of course, there is no law that says I have to answer it, and oftentimes, I don't. (Disclosure: if this sounds familiar, it's because I joined under a different name not long ago, and posted a couple of messages in recent threads... and then read the FAQ where it suggests, "Sign up with a username that you don't use anywhere else." I thought about it and decided that was a good idea, so I re-registered with this name, which I'm going to keep!)

rudeawakening

You know you can change your name

kj3880

Would that help, changing our names, do you think?
KJ

GingerM

I've debated changing my name, but for me the cringing comes from the tone of voice, not the name itself.

I find I'm lifted up when I hear people call my name in a cheery or happy tone, or even a tone which suggests they need my help. But when anything vaguely resembling drama is in the tone, I cringe mightily.

I have also debated changing my last name as a 'display' of my casting out of old family patterns. But there are people in my family I loved (who are now deceased) and the family has a long history. It's hard to give up that uniqueness.

Peter

Tone never made a difference to me. Very often when I hear my name it means somebody wants something and I still have trouble saying no....

kj3880

Yeah, I hate my name, even when it's screamed out in ecstasy..lol...and it's a garden-variety name...that's why I go by KJ...even in real life. Sorry that was TMI, wasn't it?
KJ

Luxx

I despise hearing my name...it never occurred to me that it could be related to being acoa.

GiveLove

Yeah. I dunno. I think I'd rather keep my name and get the help I need to realize that not everyone who says my name is trying to hurt me. I don't want to be the victim of my past any more. I don't want the "wake to drive the boat" any more.

I'm already lots better than I used to be......step by step.....

splendra

I feel the same however tone can get on my nerves too.

What has helped me a lot to get over it is to do mirror work with myself. I am not near as bad as I used to be.

The other day was really more of an exception than the rule but it was because 12 different people were saying my name a lot all day long. I know they were glad to see me and I do need to be tolerant of that.

I don't feel that changing my name is a good solution for me. Dealing with the issue is a much better idea for me. Even if I did change my name the issue would still be there.

DesertEyes

When I was in grammar school I would look up names in the phone book and start writing them down in my school papers. That was my way of trying to make real my fantasy that I was adopted and that my "real" family would rescue me someday. Made my poor teachers crazy. * lol *

I never wanted to be who I was, and the name was just a part of that issue. For me it's because I believed and internalized all the ****** my parents brainwashed into me. As I got my "feces amalgamated" thru therapy and 12 step work I started replacing those old brainwashings with healthy beliefs. Today I am proud of what I have acomplished in life, proud that I am _not_ like my parents, I like the "me" that I have built over the years and I actually like my name.

I looked it up. (ain't the web a wonderful thing? ) turns out "Mike" comes from an ancient word for "angel". A being that is similar to God. I think that's kinda cool.

Mike

Denoraphy

I don't have a problem hearing my own name. What really sets me off is when complete strangers call me 'Sweetie' or 'Hon'. How do they know if I'm a sweet person?

Tiro

I used to wish i was somebody else when i was a kid. I hated my life. I hated my name, how i looked, the sound of my own voice and the clothes I was forced to wear.

I used to envy my friends and neighbours. They had lives. I wanted to be them.

As a child I fantasized so hard that i was the Lone Ranger or Kato in the Green Hornet. I almost started to believe it. LOL.

I got in trouble for telling kids at my new school that my real name was Stephen.

I wouldn't want to live my childhood over.