ElektrykEye

Both of my parents were ACOA's. I'm pretty sure my dad was an alcoholic... he quit drinking when I was about 5 years old because my mom gave him an ultimatum and he realized his drinking was out of control. So, for most of my life, he never touched alcohol... I guess because he didn't feel he could control his drinking. He drank club soda when others drank alcohol. He wasn't in a recovery program and he never went to therapy, but he did use his faith as a way to keep from drinking.

Despite the fact that Dad stopped drinking when I was very little, I still have all 13 characteristics (see the sticky at the top of the page) of an ACOA... I just wasn't around the actual alcohol for most of my life. Dad was a rage-aholic and he definitely had his issues. Mom was and still is the enabling type. Our family was very dysfunctional, but aren't they all?

So I guess I'm wondering if I truly am an ACOA. Can anyone offer feedback? Is it possible to be an ACOA even if your alcoholic parent stopped drinking when you were very little? I'm just confused.

LaTeeDa

Absolutely. It's about the behavior, not the substance.

L

DesertEyes

Hi there Elektryk, and pleased to "meet" you

Yup, you sure can. You say you match the 13 characteristics, and that's really all it takes. When the ACoA program was first getting started some 30 years ago we were focusing on families of alcoholics, mainly because we didn't know any better. We've learned a lot since then, and today we know that any kind of "dysfunctional" family will do deep and lasting damage to the children. Unfortunately, with copyright laws and all that, it's pretty expensive to change the name to Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families.

So welcome aboard, make yourself at home in this sheltered corner of recovery.

Mike