sobergirl77

I've just begun working with a sponsor on my 12 steps... I'm newly sober and going to AA meetings, etc.

Anyway, my sponsor has been clean 13 years and has a lot of experience with helping alcoholics through the steps. I told her a bit of my background - which includes 2 deceased alcoholic parents - and we talked for a bit about it.

She told me that adult children of alcoholics often do one or more of the following:

1. Choose bad or abusive relationships
2. Get addicted to substances or alcohol themselves
3. Become religious or religious fanatics

Why I found this so incredibly amazing and scary is because in the case of myself and my two sisters, this is SO true! My oldest sister is very, very religious, my younger sister has a history of selecting abusive boyfriends, and me? Well, I'm an alcoholic. Both of my sister chose their "fate" around age of 17 or so... but it took me 11+ years to get addicted to alcohol.

It feels like such a cliche... but it's so true.

I just wanted to share this because I'm still having trouble wrapping my mind around it!

Bernadette

Heya sobergirl--
CONGRATS on your newfound sobriety!! That's terrific!

It is usually both shocking and a relief to discover all the similarities we share as children of Alcoholics. Sometimes I read another person's story and it's like - wow the Alcoholic in their life has the SAME script that my alcoholic brother's have (and that my recovered Alcoholic father used to have!!) Incredible.

So you kinda have a dual recovery going - there are quite a few people in the F&F forums that share that struggle with you - they are themselves sober/recovered and they are dealing with issues around active family a's or past a's.

I had a disastous marriage - it was uncanny how much it resembled my parent's marriage at its worst but without the alcoholism - just the sick dynamic. All three of my bros are alcoholics (well one no longer drinks just smokes weed 24/7/365). And my sister is a super high achieving but very negative and depressed person......so we all carry different baggage...Alanon has been a great help to me for years.

Keep coming and sharing your story and reading! And all the best for your continued recovery and good health!
Peace,
B.

patchoulli

In my family, because I had to be so responsible so young, It was food addiction..bulimia,anorexia,You could do this and still take care of everyone else....as we got older, I have 2 sisters and a brother that drink every day...not one of us has ever talked about our child hood when my father was with us..I married an alcoholic at 18, and another one at 36. Currently single and raising my 2 year old grandson because of his moms alcoholism...Because of alanon, I feel good, better than good, just now starting to do the ACOA. thanks for being here

GingerM

You might want to read through this thread Patchouli. It covers what your sponsor said plus more.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-children.html