New to this: Do I talk to my Mother?
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1
New to this: Do I talk to my Mother?
Where to start? My mother and father are both alcoholics. All four brothers have been through treatment, my sister has quit drinking. I drink too much and have not begun to deal with it until just recently. My mother drinks quietly and socially and thinks no one notices, but is sadly mistaken.
We all know not to call after dark, because she will be drunk. I was still drinking until very recently and hated drinking around her because it seemed to give her a license to get lit and it is soooo painful to see. She has fallen many times when home alone, broken teeth and cut her face open and made up stories to hide that it happened because she was drunk home alone. Anyway...could go on forever.
She doesn't drink around recovered brothers 'out of respect' but gets sloshed around me and I hate it.
Do I talk to her about this? Do I tell her how much it hurts me (but fear that since I had been drinking as much as her)? Do I tell her that she is fooling no one and that everyone knows? I tried this in years past and she just got mad at the people I said noticed and were worried...calling them out on their own drunk stories.
Last time she hurt herself by cutting her face open she lied to me (just a gut feeling) saying she fell on the ice and didn't tell me it happened because I would think she was drunk.
I hate living this lie and playing this little game that we ignore this huge thing and pretend none of it exists.
ANY advice would be GREATLY appreciated.
We all know not to call after dark, because she will be drunk. I was still drinking until very recently and hated drinking around her because it seemed to give her a license to get lit and it is soooo painful to see. She has fallen many times when home alone, broken teeth and cut her face open and made up stories to hide that it happened because she was drunk home alone. Anyway...could go on forever.
She doesn't drink around recovered brothers 'out of respect' but gets sloshed around me and I hate it.
Do I talk to her about this? Do I tell her how much it hurts me (but fear that since I had been drinking as much as her)? Do I tell her that she is fooling no one and that everyone knows? I tried this in years past and she just got mad at the people I said noticed and were worried...calling them out on their own drunk stories.
Last time she hurt herself by cutting her face open she lied to me (just a gut feeling) saying she fell on the ice and didn't tell me it happened because I would think she was drunk.
I hate living this lie and playing this little game that we ignore this huge thing and pretend none of it exists.
ANY advice would be GREATLY appreciated.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
Welcome Bizzy,
Glad you found us!
I have a recovering alcoholic mother. She's been sober 30 years and attended AA all this time.
I can remember the same things happening to her. Some of the memories of her astound me even to this day.
She fell down a flight of stairs while completely drunk. Amazingly, she didin't get hurt excpet for a bruise.
She would do all kind of things that made me afraid for her.
A couple of times she did really stupid things that embarrassed me to no end.
Fortunately, her life became so much a nightmare that she found AA.
I was glad too, because nothing any of us did or said made any difference to her while she was an active alcoholic. She just had to come to her own decision to quit.
Keep coming back. This is a wonderful place to vent, and especially to learn.
Glad you found us!
I have a recovering alcoholic mother. She's been sober 30 years and attended AA all this time.
I can remember the same things happening to her. Some of the memories of her astound me even to this day.
She fell down a flight of stairs while completely drunk. Amazingly, she didin't get hurt excpet for a bruise.
She would do all kind of things that made me afraid for her.
A couple of times she did really stupid things that embarrassed me to no end.
Fortunately, her life became so much a nightmare that she found AA.
I was glad too, because nothing any of us did or said made any difference to her while she was an active alcoholic. She just had to come to her own decision to quit.
Keep coming back. This is a wonderful place to vent, and especially to learn.
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