My Serenity Level For Today Is -- Percentage Pt 2
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,671
Just today received an email from one of the big gun specialists who did the dramatic save my life from burns guy. Had sent- at his request a pic of me doing a high rope adventure thingy- the first such activity since then burns thingy. He thanked me and remarked it was good to hear patients feedback as their work is highly stressful (one of the guys who saves lives post Bali bombing)and my progress is very good Then he said I was a special patient and always will be to the whole burns unit. (sniff). So today- 78- the highest level of serenity I have had in about 10 years. 6 months ago it was about 48. I keep such a ranking daily all this year. Thnaks (new word I invented) SR community.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,671
Gilmer I am sorry. Without asking your permission I tried to entice your dog away from the mirror. Using positive reward for observable change of behaviour- doggie treats. It was almost like that dog is in a photo.
Good to do family sober t'g activities.
Good to do family sober t'g activities.
Serenity level at 100%. Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,671
Nice day- just doing stuff- step work, SR, study, domestics. Have counselling al little later. Push my buttons counsellor- what ever I do, say, achieve or learn- she 'turns the flip side'. Fires back with the opposite point of view. So if I say 'I am feeling better about my self esteem' she will respond with 'do you think your feelings are authentic?'. A valid counselling technique- because she knows I want to be pushed outside my comfort zone. Hard to do sometimes.
79
79
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
5:54 AM -- serenity level 90%
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ 
Told her about this post- she replied 'do you know WHY I push buttons?'
Why did she say that she pushes your buttons?
Early here with a bicycle ride planned with my wife in a while.
Blessed to be living here in San Diego -- it's beautiful.
A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,671
So I learn to more naturally connect my emotions with my thoughts. I deconstruct everything. After the last year- for sobriety, especially safety and my sanity. In this recovery every comment, action- every thing- the clothes someone wears, how often they go out, what they eat- everything. I am learning to trust the world- which of course is learning to trust myself. My family cut me off- they even emailed me and said it was because I was not to be trusted. I crave growth and demand it of my counsellor- I only grow when I look at the flip side. Very hard work for me. So that's why she pushes my buttons. I am grateful for it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Thought our water well was going dry -- serenity level 45%.
After some testing discovered that it is a machanical issue -- jumped to 99.9%.
Waiting for my friend to come make repair -- 85%.
Then I will test and see how much water our well makes.
Thank God that there is some water down there. 925 feet down there.
After 28 years here I'm still amazed to see precious water coming to surface.
A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob
After some testing discovered that it is a machanical issue -- jumped to 99.9%.
Waiting for my friend to come make repair -- 85%.
Then I will test and see how much water our well makes.
Thank God that there is some water down there. 925 feet down there.
After 28 years here I'm still amazed to see precious water coming to surface.
A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob
So maybe 75 % today. The dogs and cats are a great comfort to me. Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I've had a rough past few days.
Still recovering from a Thanksgiving that was too long with too many people.
I started off being a super-cheerful hostess, then got overwhelmed and crashed on Friday. I was unable to pull myself out of the Grinch-like mood.
When I came home yesterday I was still embittered; but then I was surprised by my middle son, so my mood went up a bit.
It is still hard to get out from under this general negative pall, though.
Plus, my younger son has some kind of allergy in which his lower lip, two fingers, and one toe are swollen. Hoping it doesn't get worse; Monday morning I'll take him to the doctor. He also has a persistent deep cough.
Righ now I'd say I'm at 75%.
Still recovering from a Thanksgiving that was too long with too many people.
I started off being a super-cheerful hostess, then got overwhelmed and crashed on Friday. I was unable to pull myself out of the Grinch-like mood.
When I came home yesterday I was still embittered; but then I was surprised by my middle son, so my mood went up a bit.
It is still hard to get out from under this general negative pall, though.
Plus, my younger son has some kind of allergy in which his lower lip, two fingers, and one toe are swollen. Hoping it doesn't get worse; Monday morning I'll take him to the doctor. He also has a persistent deep cough.
Righ now I'd say I'm at 75%.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,671
Least and Gilmer- empathy for feeling crap. G- you weathered th-g without booze- the most important thing, ay? A brilliant road test for Xmas.
Started my go outside my comfort zone- my counsellor keeps pushing me a little bit more every session. EVERY time because I respect and trust her completely, I have no choice but to examine my inner me and do stuff. The first was the high adventure rope thing, then art. Art 'therapy' I thought. Like making houses out of ice cream sticks or basket weaving. I got grumpy- but went anyway.,. Found I have some talent for it and now it is part of my weekly stuff- I love it. The second push saw me going back to doing gym stuff- which in turn has made me (voluntarily this time) look at my diet and change it. Cannot say I love gym work- but I do feel a sense of peace after (god bless seretonin). Next push- so today feeling the same I don't want to, went to the state Art Gallery. Once again- loved it. Saw an exhibition that moved me to the core- about refugee Syrian girls making wedding dresses in camps- hoping their children would have a better life (made by a pregnant girl). Also large faces made up of life jackets washed up on Mediterranean shore lines- some fake- that were sold to people fleeing conflict and presumably died. I thought about this - what can I do to make some social difference somewhere. I already am aware and know most of the political stuff. Apart from a $10 donation can't really make a difference there.
Then something gelled. When I was dying in hospital my kind doctor bro told me when first woken up from an induced coma that I "had my entire blood volume replace by transfusions'. So I made an appointment online just then and no matter how long it takes- after calculating how much (there were many, many transfusions afterwards) I am going to give back the blood that saved my life for someone else. I figure 15 litres. Average 5L in blood volume (I think). About 1 litre donation in 1 sitting (I think). About 1 month intervals (I think). So 15 months. Does not really matter about the figures- a productive thing to do to say thanks to those who anonymously saved my life. So serenity? 80 no 82. Given it was 48, 6 months ago, not a bad way to go. To infinity....and beyond!
Started my go outside my comfort zone- my counsellor keeps pushing me a little bit more every session. EVERY time because I respect and trust her completely, I have no choice but to examine my inner me and do stuff. The first was the high adventure rope thing, then art. Art 'therapy' I thought. Like making houses out of ice cream sticks or basket weaving. I got grumpy- but went anyway.,. Found I have some talent for it and now it is part of my weekly stuff- I love it. The second push saw me going back to doing gym stuff- which in turn has made me (voluntarily this time) look at my diet and change it. Cannot say I love gym work- but I do feel a sense of peace after (god bless seretonin). Next push- so today feeling the same I don't want to, went to the state Art Gallery. Once again- loved it. Saw an exhibition that moved me to the core- about refugee Syrian girls making wedding dresses in camps- hoping their children would have a better life (made by a pregnant girl). Also large faces made up of life jackets washed up on Mediterranean shore lines- some fake- that were sold to people fleeing conflict and presumably died. I thought about this - what can I do to make some social difference somewhere. I already am aware and know most of the political stuff. Apart from a $10 donation can't really make a difference there.
Then something gelled. When I was dying in hospital my kind doctor bro told me when first woken up from an induced coma that I "had my entire blood volume replace by transfusions'. So I made an appointment online just then and no matter how long it takes- after calculating how much (there were many, many transfusions afterwards) I am going to give back the blood that saved my life for someone else. I figure 15 litres. Average 5L in blood volume (I think). About 1 litre donation in 1 sitting (I think). About 1 month intervals (I think). So 15 months. Does not really matter about the figures- a productive thing to do to say thanks to those who anonymously saved my life. So serenity? 80 no 82. Given it was 48, 6 months ago, not a bad way to go. To infinity....and beyond!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
I know that too much coffee does not help my serenity level.
6:26 AM and I've had a couple of cups -- I love the stuff.
Serenity level 85%.
A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob
6:26 AM and I've had a couple of cups -- I love the stuff.
Serenity level 85%.
A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob
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