Mountainmanbob

As smoothly as things usually run here in my sober world I still at times suffer much with getting impatient. This, after (getting myself) all worked up in a way reminds me of me back in my drinking days. Yes, no self control but, without the drink.

Yesterday was yet another one of these terrible times for me and the ones around me. I had ordered a replacement part for our GPS and when it came in the mail they had sent the wrong part. Oh yes, now poor old Mountainman has to send it back and pay for the shipping and wait up to a month for a refund. It must have been the end of the world ? At least for all of the ones here on the mountain top it seemed to be.

Anyway, here I sit at 2:01 AM in the morning after waking from a nice sleep and once again I'm very embarrassed regarding my actions and reactions yesterday.

The good news -- events such as this bring me to my spiritual knees. Yes, once again I ask for help from Above. And thank Him that I'm sober and have no desire to use feelings and thoughts such as these to push me back to drinking it all away.

MB


im·pa·tient

/imˈpāSHənt/

adjective

adjective: impatient

1.

having or showing a tendency to be quickly irritated or provoked.
"an impatient motorist blaring his horn"

synonyms: irritated, annoyed, angry, testy, tetchy, snappy, cross, querulous, peevish, piqued, short-tempered; More
abrupt, curt, brusque, terse, short;

informalpeeved

"why must you be so impatient with the children?"

antonyms: even-tempered, pleased

•intolerant of.
"a man impatient of bureaucracy"

2.

restlessly eager.
"they are impatient for change"

synonyms: restless, restive, agitated, nervous, anxious, tense, ill at ease, edgy, jumpy, keyed up; informaltwitchy, jittery, uptight, high-strung
"Elaine grew impatient"

•anxious, eager, keen, yearning, longing, aching, agog;
informalitching, dying, raring, gung-ho, straining at the leash

"they are impatient to get back home"

************************************************** *****************

Philippians 4:6New American Standard Bible (NASB)

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Mountainmanbob

Sober - yes - but - dang do I get impatient at times !

Yes and it has taken a toll on me lately.
I got so worked up the other day
that my chest has been hurting.
It's caused from anxiety and it's not my heart.
When I get (myself) all worked up my left side chest muscles tighten.
In the old days I popped a few pills at times such as this.
Today I know that these are things that I need to deal with sober.
I did it to myself.
It will take a few more calm days before it get's better.
Maybe God's talking to me -- mellow out mountainman ?

MB

Bellamiaa

It's hard dealing with things sober. At night I drank. In the morning/afternoon I was recovering from the night before. I didn't feel the stress, anxiety or "life pains" in general. Now I do and I don't like it lol

It's been 4 months so I've gotten okay at dealing with life, sober. I too am very impatient. That's just me though. It's a whole new experience that I haven't done in awhile. But I'm grateful. Even if it does suck every now and then lol

xo

Mountainmanbob

For sure I used booze at times to get numb when life was rocky.
Sobriety is about dealing with these issues in a calm manner.
It's been good here for a few days.
But, still have a little anxiety hang over.
Takes a while to fully recover once I take it to that point.
All of the coffee that I drink does not help.
I know that but, it is a heavy addiction for me.
Maybe cut back -- we'll see ?
MB

Soberpotamus

I get impatient sometimes too, MMBob. Just one of those things that we are now learning to cope with while sober, yeah?

I must've gotten my impatience from my grandfather There's no doubt I did, lol. He's rather famous for his quick temper. Mellowed in his old age, but barely!

LiveInPeace

I thought once sober, I'd never get impatient, pissed, annoyed, frustrated, upset, etc. etc. Then I heard someone point out in the big book in step 10/11 that it doesn't say "If" you get angry, resentful, frightened" but that it says "When".

In my experience, when I finally learned to take that frustrating self-awareness I gained early on and ask God for help, things improved. To me, it's like doing a mini Step 6 and 7. I can't take away my own shortcomings/character defects. But God can.

Bellamiaa

Coffee doesn't help me either. Just leaves me feeling jittery. I'm trying to replace the addiction to alcohol I guess.

Ken33xx

Character defects are often simply human emotions. Everyone has them and they aren't going away.

However, what AA/sober time has given me is the ability to recognize such "defects" as they begin to flair and hopefully not act out too much.

Austin4Wyo

I'm a horribly Tyoe A personality, so impatience has marked a fair amount of my past. Since I sobered up and gave up my controlling nature, I'm far more the relaxed, quiet, and FOCUSED country boy that I appreciated in my youth. My intuitive and inteoverted nature allows me a certain ease in being able to say I did as much as I could, and the rest will have to work itself out.

Back home in Wyoming, the grass will still grow, the cattle will still eat it. I can step in a lot less manure, both figuratively and literally, if I slow down and relax. Very, very little in my day to day life is worth getting worked up over. Patience is part of serenity, and at least for me, serene is a state of being, not a destination.

Sent from my LG Transpyre VS810PP using Sober Recovery

Bellamiaa

I love this. So true.

Mountainmanbob

Getting myself very impatient a while back
has been the equivalent to turning a wicked drug lose in my body and mind.
I'm still coming down and feel like crap.
Don't really want to do anything except recover.
I guess time will heal.
If, I keep my emotions in check.
MB

Bekindalways

Great thoughts here Mountainman. Have you ever tried befriending the impatience. By this, I mean greet the feeling with a come-on-in attitude and then let it go.

I have a whole smorgasbord of yuck emotions despair, shame, and self-loathing. Over the years I have tried to see them more as teachers and companions than enemies. Just a thought here. May or may not work for you. Anyhow I so appreciate your courage and honesty here.

Mountainmanbob

I must say, thank you for sharing that and no I have not tried that.
I find the thought of that approach interesting.
I will work on that and see how it goes.

For now (lately) things have been much better.
I weaned off using too much Caffeine and Nicotine.
My wife has been telling me for a while now to, "slow it down."

I have not drank or used drugs for many years
but, my addictions for Caffeine and Nicotine are very strong.

M-Bob

Mountainmanbob

Been a while now and although better, I'm still dealing with (working) on my anxiety. Yes, I know that in the old days I would have been hitting the bottle with the little blue pills by now. That's not an option today for I need to learn to deal with these on going matters that are wissing me off. Yes, resentments are also playing loud in my head at times. The battle is on but, I will not drink because of these things. It's just life and to escape what's going on will in no way make matters better. In fact, if I was drinking or doing some of my other things that I used to do I would probably make some grave mistakes at this point in time.

Bottom line -- no matter how uptight I get at times a drink is never in order.

I have had no regular caffeinated coffee or snuff for two days now.
I know this helps for I also abuse these two.
Still smoking my tobacco pipes and cigars occasionally. (Nicotine -- Probably another no no in regards to anxiety)


M-Bob

rahrah

I drank from dinner time on...I work and have 2 young children, the drink helped numb all the stress making me way more patient than my normal highstrung self....and the hangover the next day helped me focus on not dying rather than losing my patience over life's challenges.
Tonight while shopping I experienced the grandest comedy of errors (lost my wallet in the parking lot, lost my keys in the store and then my car wouldn't start as the battery was dead from leaving the light on while looking for both)...the Beast in my head was SCREAMING for a drink as I lost the last of my patience! I am so grateful to have made it through all that without a drink! I am going to bed sober and get to wake up sober again for day NINE! Haven't made it that long in years and years!
Anyways....I rambled....my point is...impatience is my greatest flaw...dealing with it sober is HARD!