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Old 04-22-2001, 08:54 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Post Cocaine and Sexual Addiction

This is a subject that people in meeting do not discuss (the Obsession of Sexual Fantasies), eventhough it is my biggest Killer. I smoke Coke and Speed because it makes me Horny. Does anybody else have the same dillema?
 
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Old 04-22-2001, 09:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Actually, before we go much further, are you trying to stay sober? Do you have a desire to be sober?
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Old 06-28-2004, 06:27 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Cocaine and sex

Hey Darius.

I have the same dilema. The only difference being that I "inject" cocaine. I enjoy the extreme sexual rush. I can go without doing it for long periods....sometimes 6 months...sometimes less but eventualy the desire to indulge comes over me so strong that i cannot resist.
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Old 06-28-2004, 05:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Ok...this hit a nerve with me because my boyfriend is a cocaine/sex addict. He claims that when he uses he gets these "bizarre sexual urges"..and oh BOY does he act on them..his cocaine binges will lead him into days of sex, porn shops, prostitutes and WHO REALLY knows what else...Maybe you guys can help me understand this whole cocaine and sex thing...

Thanks,
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Old 06-28-2004, 10:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
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spiderman,

you are not alone! i am a female, but i developed a sex addiction on top of the meth addiction. it got to the point that i would not feel like i "could" have sex without being high. ive been clean for 17 months and things have "gotten back to normal" however i now abstain from sex because i dont want to get any STDs or other sorts of trouble.

kimmie,

im sorry about your husband, but i dont think you will ever be able to understand. have you checked out the naranon boards? theres lots of people who know what you are going through. im not sure people (addicts) would "open up" to you about their sexual/drug addictions for the sake up "helping you understand" your husband. its very personal you know. i say, thank your lucky stars it's not YOU with the drug and sex addiction and focus on YOURSELF.

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Old 06-28-2004, 11:30 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Kimmi

Alcohol and drugs can magnify what is already there. (for some can slow things as well)
A strong sex drive could become stronger with doc.
With the doc acting on the desires and sex drive... well the stops and limits (common sense) go out the door as the doc takes over. For me... alcohol increased the desire but if I had enough alcohol I would pass out before being able to act on desires.

The loss of common sense I think would be the key point. Under the control of our doc, common sense can become common nonsense. No inhibitions. No cares, no worries...just do what ever.
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Old 06-29-2004, 05:11 PM   #7 (permalink)
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So, if it intensifies what is already there..does that mean that the person is already a sex addict?

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Old 06-29-2004, 05:23 PM   #8 (permalink)
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For me, sex and drugs went hand in hand. When I used my sexual interests were bizarre to say the least. When I was prostituting, I came across alot of men who DESIRED sex while using, but were unable to perform once they put the drugs in their system. (I should say this happened with Cocaine). Heroine on the other hand was a different story. They could perform forever, but not complete the mission. (not to be crude, but we called it dope d***).

After I got clean, sex was my first substitute. It was my new drug of choice. My therapist at rehab suggested SLA, but I didn't go. I had been acting out with my first sponsor (we would go to sex clubs, strip poker games, etc). We would joke that if we were to go it would be to pick up relapsers.

I think the drugs just enhance a desire or drive that is already there. We are addicts and are sensitive to anything that feels good and takes us away from reality for a while.

I've been taught to open up and be honest about EVERYTHING if it is going to help someone else. I can't change the things I've done in my past, but I can turn them around and use the experience to do good things today.
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Old 06-29-2004, 05:29 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Thank you so much for your honesty! You truly have helped me today...

I am with you sister!
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Old 07-12-2004, 10:30 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Cocaine and sex

I don't have the problem of not being able to "perform" when I inject cocaine....infact just the oposite. I experience not only the rush of the cocaine but extremely intense erections and orgasms. I think this is why it is so hard for me to stop. I was afraid to tell my girlfriend of one year about it but it became impossible to hide when she moved in with me. Luckily she is very open minded and we're going to try to work it out together. Good luck to everyone.
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Old 08-17-2004, 10:35 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Ok, My boyfriend "says" he isn't very sexual by nature. So could this mean if you naturally don't have a strong sex drive cocaine doesn't necessarily have that kind of effect on you? Or could he be "having enough" when he's high without me knowing, (he's never around me when he's high) that he isn't that much into it with me?

And is there any "straight" guy out there whose sex drive becomes so strong with so much coke that he could even do it with (or be pleasured by) a gay? (if not, what if the gay would offer you free coke if he can give you a .... job?) SORRY for the weird question... But I need to know...
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Old 08-20-2004, 09:06 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I have been trying to find reasons behind my actions, just can't only reason I can see that is blatant is Cocaine!
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Old 08-20-2004, 10:05 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spiderman65
I don't have the problem of not being able to "perform" when I inject cocaine....infact just the oposite. I experience not only the rush of the cocaine but extremely intense erections and orgasms. I think this is why it is so hard for me to stop. I was afraid to tell my girlfriend of one year about it but it became impossible to hide when she moved in with me. Luckily she is very open minded and we're going to try to work it out together. Good luck to everyone.
My AH experienced the same thing, but I also know that even without the use of his doc, he was still very much into active sex addiction.

Darius he also used it to make him hornery...."sensation nation" Addiction seems to be rapped up in feeling and not feeling. Why seems to be the mystery of history. Why oh why is that strong overwhelming - don't care about life anymore drive there?

It all seems to continue to have great mystery behind the connection of drugs and sex--------aka/addictions to them-----two very powerful and destructive forces that have ruined or changed many of our lives, when we don't use restraint or self-control or some healthy moralistic guidelines. Something happens when lives are given over to "it", whatever "it" may be, in any capacity that "it" comes near us.

This is one of the things that I have been seeking to get to know a bit more about and this search for knowledge, discovery and truth and answers seems to be laughed off the pages of this forum..................

....this is some very serious stuff....stuff that will continue to conclude that it has a brand name called "destructive" hanging over it. But it is all supposed to look so innocent in the beginning. I just can't help but want to know some truths, not only for myself, but for the rescue of others-----it's kind of like that old addage "stay away from that"---the child will always want to know why and ignore the warning and and do it anyway---only to find that mama or daddy was right. I guess one must find his own answers in this world---no one can help no one settle the issues. Just staying away seems to be the safest thing.....and mayber we don't need to know why or seek why, or neither does it matter why.

Some are just seeking answers and have no freaking idea how they are going to get some resolution........maybe more pat answers.

Darius one reason why there are no discussions on it because people have a hard time discussin sex by itself--it is considered "taboo" by many-in all arenas' except for those that have given themselves of to the explicitedness of it.

There is a secretness (if I could use that as a word) about the idea of sex. Many find it very hard to discuss becuase it seems to private and when one actually has to deal with all of the variations in sex, people become ashamed and feel that it can not be discussed in any level of depth, without offending someone....so there has to be a collective open-mindedness to for the majority to even go there.

It is hard to talk about the vastness of the erotica nature without feeling to exposed. We have to be able to evolve to a state of making this subject one of commonality and looked at from a normal state. Sex is something that is is our natures, put there on purpose, but it has been abused and misused-so we come up with all the difficulties and ramifications as well as other addictions

--------well-knowing that the ticket in life has been "if that's what you want to do then do it" because that is what you want to do---the consequences of such liberty are never welcomed in hindsight 20/20, nor are they publicised to be as such, but rather glamour is applied to it and other erroneous ideas that have lead many to experience hard, destructive and regretful places.

One day we will all understand and know the answer to our humanity, maybe.
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Old 08-23-2004, 01:50 PM   #14 (permalink)
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My AH who is in recovery going on 11 months used heroine and loved sex. Well he wasn't get it from me because I refused to have sex with him, I felt like I was sleeping with a stranger. I would have preferred him to go three minutes then to go through the pain he was causing me, he didn't even look like the same person.
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Old 08-23-2004, 02:11 PM   #15 (permalink)
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The Problem

Many of us felt inadequate, unworthy, alone, and afraid. Our insides never matched what we saw on the outsides of others.

Early on, we came to feel disconnected -- from parents, from peers, from ourselves. We tuned out with fantasy and masturbation. We plugged in by drinking in the pictures, the images, and pursuing the objects of our fantasies. We lusted and wanted to be lusted after.

We became true addicts: sex with self, promiscuity, adultery, dependency relationships, and more fantasy. We got it through the eyes; we bought it, we sold it, we traded it, we gave it away. We were addicted to the intrigue, the tease, the forbidden. The only way we knew to be free of it was to do it. "Please connect with me and make me whole!" we cried with outstretched arms. Lusting after the Big Fix, we gave away our power to others.

This produced guilt, self-hatred, remorse, emptiness, and pain, and we were driven ever inward, away from reality, away from love, lost inside ourselves.

Our habit made true intimacy impossible. We could never know real union with another because we were addicted to the unreal. We went for the "chemistry," the connection that had the magic, because it by-passed intimacy and true union. Fantasy corrupted the real; lust killed love.

First addicts, then love cripples, we took from others to fill up what was lacking in ourselves. Conning ourselves time and again that the next one would save us, we were really losing our lives.

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Old 08-24-2004, 04:52 AM   #16 (permalink)
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sex, drugs, rock & roll...

Peace,
In my experience...cocaine and sex always seemed to go hand in hand. When I was selling it, women would love to party, if they thought that you would be giving it up...
When I used, didn't make a difference how I was doing it, I felt a strong desire to have orgasam (s). This myth/fact has been going on for years. There is something about coke that makes one horny, at least for awhile...As the addiction grows, everything else falls to the wayside...Getting, using and finding ways and means to get more is all that matters...

Bottom line for me? One disease, many symptoms.

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Old 08-24-2004, 09:42 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Hey Shakur,

What do you mean "When I used, didn't make a difference how I was doing it, I felt a strong desire to have orgasam (s)... There is something about coke that makes one horny, at least for awhile..." To what extent and how far would you go or let someone go on you?
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Old 08-25-2004, 03:37 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Cocaine wasn't my thing but I definitely used enough of it. My experience with sex and coke was the opposite. I didn't like to be touched or held and sex was out of the question. It was the same for me regardless of the way I put it in my system (nose, needle or pipe).

I agree with the person that said that heroin made you go forever. It felt good for a long time but orgasm was impossible.
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Old 08-26-2004, 12:22 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mai
Hey Shakur,

What do you mean "When I used, didn't make a difference how I was doing it, I felt a strong desire to have orgasam (s)... There is something about coke that makes one horny, at least for awhile..." To what extent and how far would you go or let someone go on you?
Peace,
Never thought about it before...I can remember times when the drug had me very horny and no one was around so, I...well you know .
My doc was speedballs (at least that's what I said) and in the end sex just wasn't that important. Only DRUGS!!!

My point is that I am not sure if I had/have a sexual addiction. I KNOW I have a drug addiction. I believe that I work on my disease a day at a time through the living of 12/12.

As addicts we reach a point where contentment and fulfillment are impossible (one is too many...). People, places and things become ways in which we try to validate our existence and an inside problem can not be fixec with an outside solution (sex, drugs, etc.)...Just my 2 cents.

Sorry if I got off topic, rambled, whatever. I just got my computer fixed at work and I'm taking advantage of that.
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Old 09-15-2004, 08:53 AM   #20 (permalink)
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There are now two telephone sex recovery meetings...

Sexaholics Anonymous... SA 10PM and 11PM (Eastern Time Phone Conference Meetings)
How To Connect-dial 781-222-0034 x793

The phone number connects you to what is called a teleconference “bridge”.

Hope to see you there!
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