Many of us felt inadequate, unworthy, alone, and afraid. Our insides never matched what we saw on the outsides of others.
Early on, we came to feel disconnected -- from parents, from peers, from ourselves. We tuned out with fantasy and masturbation. We plugged in by drinking in the pictures, the images, and pursuing the objects of our fantasies. We lusted and wanted to be lusted after.
We became true addicts: sex with self, promiscuity, adultery, dependency relationships, and more fantasy. We got it through the eyes; we bought it, we sold it, we traded it, we gave it away. We were addicted to the intrigue, the tease, the forbidden. The only way we knew to be free of it was to do it. "Please connect with me and make me whole!" we cried with outstretched arms. Lusting after the Big Fix, we gave away our power to others.
This produced guilt, self-hatred, remorse, emptiness, and pain, and we were driven ever inward, away from reality, away from love, lost inside ourselves.
Our habit made true intimacy impossible. We could never know real union with another because we were addicted to the unreal. We went for the "chemistry," the connection that had the magic, because it by-passed intimacy and true union. Fantasy corrupted the real; lust killed love.
First addicts, then love cripples, we took from others to fill up what was lacking in ourselves. Conning ourselves time and again that the next one would save us, we were really losing our lives.
Ă‚Â© 1982, 1989, 2001 SA Literature.
Reprinted with permission of SA Literature.
Sexaholics Anonymous Telephone Numbers
AK, Anchorage, 907.677.0880
AZ, Phoenix 602.439.3000
CA, Coachella Valley 760.837.7291
CA, Inland Empire 909.3695938
California, Los Angeles 800.339.0222
CA, Orange Co 714.647.1613
California, Sacramento 916.491.1772
California, San Diego 858.495.2446
CA, San Fran Bay: 510.273.9878
CO, Denver 303.292.3376
FL, Daytona Beach: 386.255.0001
Florida, Pensacola 850.433.1272
FL, Southern Alabama, (850. 433.1272
GA Atlanta (404. 663.0688
Georgia, Savannah 912/351.7440
Illinois-Chicago / NW Indiana: 630.415.0341
MD, Baltimore: 410.558.4510
Mississippi, Louisiana, (228. 594.0111
Kansas City 913.599.9858
Wichita, KS 316.942.9041
MI, Utica 586.997.7518
MO, St Louis 314.***.2687
New England 617.499.9450
NJ -Northern/Central / Eastern Pennsylvania 800.739.2465 ...
New Jersey-Southern 215.564.3272
NY, Long Island S.A. Hotline 516.733.0002
NM, Albuquerque (505. 899.0633
New Mexico, Santa Fe (505. 899.0633
Ohio, Akron Area: 330. 940.8040
Cincinnati, OH 513.522.1599
Ohio. Cleveland Area: 216. 766.8476,
OK, Oklahoma City 405.680.4566
Tulsa, OK 918.748.1708
OR. Grants Pass, 888.522.1418
PA, Erie 814.825.8907
PA, Lehigh Valley, 610.682.9622
Pittsburgh / SW PA: 724.224.0877
Philadelphia to Harrisburg & York 215.564.3272
S Carolina Charleston 843.494.4808
SC Myrtle Beach 843.236.0299
TX, Dallas 972.407.4533
Texas, Houston 281.548.4930
Virginia, Fredericksburg, 703.866.6929
Virginia, Richmond 804.254.9939
WA, Bellingham 360.966.7475
Seattle WA 206.548.9538
WA, Spokane 509.464.3376
Washington DC, N. Virginia, MD suburbs: 703.866.6929
WV, Wheeling / Steubenville, OH: 740.342.0828
WI, Milwaukee 414.259.9792
other areas call 615.370.6062
To buy the White Book and./or Recovery Continues 800.853.2227 SA Website http://www.SA.org
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How To Connect-dial 781-222-0034 x793