Wheres chasing the dream
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: london
Posts: 377
Hehehehe. Do you mean you want the pushy p***s taking chasing back?!
I am fine honestly, just busy. And yes, if I'm honest, I am finding this part of sobriety really challenging- I feel like I don't know who I am sometimes. Getting high has been such a big part of my persona for such a long time, it's realy weird not to have it there anymore.
I have not had any urges to use which is great, but I feel like the real challenge is starting now- learning to live life without drugs, and feeling comfortable with who I am.
I'm sure you guys know exactly what I mean.
Jmag- big congrats on 60 days. It's really the start of a new life isn't it.
Red- I'm so proud of you. Who'd have thought eh? You really sound in the swing of it. But you do sound very busy, I hope you're managing to look after yourself?
I wish we could all have an NA cross-continent group and meet up!
I am fine honestly, just busy. And yes, if I'm honest, I am finding this part of sobriety really challenging- I feel like I don't know who I am sometimes. Getting high has been such a big part of my persona for such a long time, it's realy weird not to have it there anymore.
I have not had any urges to use which is great, but I feel like the real challenge is starting now- learning to live life without drugs, and feeling comfortable with who I am.
I'm sure you guys know exactly what I mean.
Jmag- big congrats on 60 days. It's really the start of a new life isn't it.
Red- I'm so proud of you. Who'd have thought eh? You really sound in the swing of it. But you do sound very busy, I hope you're managing to look after yourself?
I wish we could all have an NA cross-continent group and meet up!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Thailand
Posts: 824
I'm hanging onto my sanity by a thread but it isn't drug related I don't want to use just having to deal with the results of running a business for 3 years as a fully committed smack head. The chickens have really come home to roost on this one. Just staying positive about giving up heroin and reminding myself staying clean will help me rebuild what I've destroyed.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Western NY
Posts: 1,209
RedManc - for what's it's worth during my clean time in 2012 - 2013 it was a terrible time for business. Before I knew it, I had almost all of my liquid assets tied up in the company I was a partner in. The loans were unsecured and had been used to cover payroll. If I hadn't covered it I would have had 40 physical laborers showing up to my office and asking why their check bounced. Then they would probably explain that they couldn't make their rent, and that they needed cash or else I got a pipe to the head. To say that it was stressful was a gross understatement.
Anyway, it ended up all working out, but it was a pressure cooker and a half. Hopefully everything will work out in your situation. Even when things look bleak they can always turn the corner.
Anyway, it ended up all working out, but it was a pressure cooker and a half. Hopefully everything will work out in your situation. Even when things look bleak they can always turn the corner.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Originally Posted by gnarlyboots 
11am here, had a boring night / morning, a bit frustrated because I am trying to teach myself guitar but i REALLY suck, like progression is non existent
You following any lessons? Exercises are your best bet if you want progress, I put them off before as I wanted to do my own thing but its the only way.
Practice chords if you want to learn that style (meh) or scales for a picking style (yay) as opposed to trying to learn your favorite riffs.
Just a suggestion but you will find your speed, memory and technique improve. You can apply those to any song then.
I was on 'hammer ons' and 'pull-offs' when I set it down, tricky enough initially. Hope everyone is keeping well
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Thailand
Posts: 824
Cheers opio, we paid half our contractors 5 days late last month, first time in 13 years trading.
Horrible. Hate for that to get out to the market - vultures would be swooping,
Anyway. Just had a conference call with India for some reason they have scheduled to pay'$74k on 1st of month with the remaining $44k on the 15th March which should be when we get the $74 as well.the accounts guy couldn't explain how it has happened we were being paid early. My fairy godmother I spose. Big relief. Got stress like you wouldn't belief was thinking of doing a Phoenix company and ending the current business earlier.
Reassuring to hear you came through tribulations - I've not paid myself a wage since October and am doing 12 hour days (my penance for taking big wages when off my head on smack) - I might have enough to pay myself enough to pay my rent without using other cash $3200 for a 2 bed unit a month - but hey that's sydney and we aren't even near a beach!'
Horrible. Hate for that to get out to the market - vultures would be swooping,
Anyway. Just had a conference call with India for some reason they have scheduled to pay'$74k on 1st of month with the remaining $44k on the 15th March which should be when we get the $74 as well.the accounts guy couldn't explain how it has happened we were being paid early. My fairy godmother I spose. Big relief. Got stress like you wouldn't belief was thinking of doing a Phoenix company and ending the current business earlier.
Reassuring to hear you came through tribulations - I've not paid myself a wage since October and am doing 12 hour days (my penance for taking big wages when off my head on smack) - I might have enough to pay myself enough to pay my rent without using other cash $3200 for a 2 bed unit a month - but hey that's sydney and we aren't even near a beach!'
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 211
Chasing - hearing you on the self-discovery process being confusing, i'm by no means there yet, but i've turned into this weird spiritual sorta hippie guy, it wasn't my first choice of persona, but seems it's fallen into my lap, not sure how to feel about it.
Whoa red, I read all about the business stress you're having & it makes me appreciate being a lowly farm hand atm, glad you're balancing it out with the bikram regularly mate.
Strat - thanks for the advice, i got a black acoustic steel stringed thing, i have been trying to run before i can walk with the whole guitar thing, tbh it's been gathering dust the last week because i got frustrated with my lack of ability lol.
All well in my hood, I was supposed be back in Australia by this time but I've gotten right into my meditation & yoga over here in New Zealand and have decided I am following this path for a while. Feeling very blessed to be as free as I am in regards to family, friends and work & trying to make the most of it. Just got accepted to a 10day silent vipassana retreat early March, and after that i am thinking of doing my yoga teacher training and reinventing myself a little, exciting times & new frontiers.
Urges for me are going OK, I find that addict voice trying to create future scenarios when it'll be OK to use, like when i have reached a certain spiritual level and have a lot clean friends who will help me regulate the odd shot of heroin, it's a crazy old voice, i can laugh at at it now when i see it trying it's old tricks, but i also get a bit worried bc if i'm not in such a good headspace down the track, i'm not sure that i won't start beleiving it ... so here comes the use of NA / AA ... need to start those meetings. Does anyone else struggle with getting themselves to meetings? It's like i am allergic or something.
Oh well, happy days at the mo, sending my best to the rest of you legends, we're actually doing this clean thing, how damn cool right . Peace.
Whoa red, I read all about the business stress you're having & it makes me appreciate being a lowly farm hand atm, glad you're balancing it out with the bikram regularly mate.
Strat - thanks for the advice, i got a black acoustic steel stringed thing, i have been trying to run before i can walk with the whole guitar thing, tbh it's been gathering dust the last week because i got frustrated with my lack of ability lol.
All well in my hood, I was supposed be back in Australia by this time but I've gotten right into my meditation & yoga over here in New Zealand and have decided I am following this path for a while. Feeling very blessed to be as free as I am in regards to family, friends and work & trying to make the most of it. Just got accepted to a 10day silent vipassana retreat early March, and after that i am thinking of doing my yoga teacher training and reinventing myself a little, exciting times & new frontiers.
Urges for me are going OK, I find that addict voice trying to create future scenarios when it'll be OK to use, like when i have reached a certain spiritual level and have a lot clean friends who will help me regulate the odd shot of heroin, it's a crazy old voice, i can laugh at at it now when i see it trying it's old tricks, but i also get a bit worried bc if i'm not in such a good headspace down the track, i'm not sure that i won't start beleiving it ... so here comes the use of NA / AA ... need to start those meetings. Does anyone else struggle with getting themselves to meetings? It's like i am allergic or something.
Oh well, happy days at the mo, sending my best to the rest of you legends, we're actually doing this clean thing, how damn cool right . Peace.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Yo man. A spiritual sorta hippie guy is not a bad thing to be, even a weird one! I wouldnt mind being that, all I'm missing is the inner peace.
I had an acoustic for years, never got much done with it I bought it from a guy for some drinking money one morning and sold it back to him a few year later for the same.
You have a tuner right? The guitar needs to be tuned every time you pick it up almost. Here's a short video about scales http://youtu.be/7C6egiEdV4k, he shows it at about the 1:30 mark.
It's a real rewarding little exercise, breakthrough kinda stuff. Same lesson here but a bit more to the point Easy Blues Scale Tutorial - YouTube … Get rythym when you get the blues and all that!
I had an acoustic for years, never got much done with it I bought it from a guy for some drinking money one morning and sold it back to him a few year later for the same.
You have a tuner right? The guitar needs to be tuned every time you pick it up almost. Here's a short video about scales http://youtu.be/7C6egiEdV4k, he shows it at about the 1:30 mark.
It's a real rewarding little exercise, breakthrough kinda stuff. Same lesson here but a bit more to the point Easy Blues Scale Tutorial - YouTube … Get rythym when you get the blues and all that!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 211
Have you ever thought about trying some meditation strat? it can help with the inner peace thing. Haha, love that you sold it back to him for the same, funny how some items can move between ppl like that. Yeah got my tuner, just got her set now, gonna go and check those links and see if i can make a bit of progress, love a bit of johnny cash!! totally gonna go get me some rhythm!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
As in silent meditation... That would be a good idea actually coming into spring. How long and often do you practice for usually?
Yeah that guitar was worth a lot more than 50 bucks, I could have been a douche about it when he wanted to buy it back only for I'm not. He's a dealer now.
Here's the same lesson but a bit more methodical http://youtu.be/hCYBq8DAJCc. I was only doing the first 4 notes up and down to begin as most music follow the 4x4 pattern.
Then when I get bored of that I was learning/practicing some of the easy chords. Learn how to switch between 2 or 3 chords while strumming and you are playing rhythm guitar, pretty much.
Only a few weeks ahead of you here man so thats all I know, lol. Here's a beginner chord lesson, this guy is one of the better tutors actually http://youtu.be/sLSFOCyNC8Q must dust mine off!
Yeah that guitar was worth a lot more than 50 bucks, I could have been a douche about it when he wanted to buy it back only for I'm not. He's a dealer now.
Here's the same lesson but a bit more methodical http://youtu.be/hCYBq8DAJCc. I was only doing the first 4 notes up and down to begin as most music follow the 4x4 pattern.
Then when I get bored of that I was learning/practicing some of the easy chords. Learn how to switch between 2 or 3 chords while strumming and you are playing rhythm guitar, pretty much.
Only a few weeks ahead of you here man so thats all I know, lol. Here's a beginner chord lesson, this guy is one of the better tutors actually http://youtu.be/sLSFOCyNC8Q must dust mine off!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 211
Yep, silent meditation, pretty much just sitting comfortably with straight back and consciously letting your attention rest on the rise & falling of your breath. I practice 3 times a day, always before meals, 45min a sesh, I started my practice 15 years ago with 5-10min and slowly built up to this.
Those lesson are good, my fingers are raw. It's encouraging to be able to switch between the chords and feel like you're playing a bit of music. My neighbors are gonna hate me when i start singing along, i sound like a drowning cat.
Cool how we pick up all these new hobbies getting clean, all those things that we wanted to do but never got around to doing them.
You got any songs you've got in your sights on that you wanna learn mate?
Those lesson are good, my fingers are raw. It's encouraging to be able to switch between the chords and feel like you're playing a bit of music. My neighbors are gonna hate me when i start singing along, i sound like a drowning cat.
Cool how we pick up all these new hobbies getting clean, all those things that we wanted to do but never got around to doing them.
You got any songs you've got in your sights on that you wanna learn mate?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Thats good discipline man. I'm familiar with that breathing exercise and I've employed it by times, as for as a practice though I think I need to start doing that here.
Ha, sore fingers is a good sign. Yeah I hear that, you can play 100's of songs with just a few chords I believe. Well sections of songs that is. Eh not really man, just looking through my rock playlist here.
A few riffs I can play already, its not as rewarding as it sounds. Satisfaction by the Stones is an easy one. Man who sold the world by Nirvana/Bowie is not that tricky. I got an electric so I can get the same sounds going too.
'Blackbird' by the beatles would be nice to play on acoustic, tricky no doubt same with 'Over the Hills and Far Away' by Led Zeppelin, 'Thats the way' sounds difficult even. 'Bigmouth strikes again' by the Smiths is all chords, as is 'I won't share you'.
Ok I found one! Gimme shelter by the stones, I would be pretty chuffed if I could play the lead of that now that you ask. Think I'l stick with 'Happy Birthday' for now though! Ha https://blog.udemy.com/easy-guitar-tabs/
Why not start a group thread??
Ha, sore fingers is a good sign. Yeah I hear that, you can play 100's of songs with just a few chords I believe. Well sections of songs that is. Eh not really man, just looking through my rock playlist here.
A few riffs I can play already, its not as rewarding as it sounds. Satisfaction by the Stones is an easy one. Man who sold the world by Nirvana/Bowie is not that tricky. I got an electric so I can get the same sounds going too.
'Blackbird' by the beatles would be nice to play on acoustic, tricky no doubt same with 'Over the Hills and Far Away' by Led Zeppelin, 'Thats the way' sounds difficult even. 'Bigmouth strikes again' by the Smiths is all chords, as is 'I won't share you'.
Ok I found one! Gimme shelter by the stones, I would be pretty chuffed if I could play the lead of that now that you ask. Think I'l stick with 'Happy Birthday' for now though! Ha https://blog.udemy.com/easy-guitar-tabs/
Why not start a group thread??
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 211
Gimme shelter by the stones is an epic song, you know your music strat, i had you picked as simply a house cat but your tastes are broad.
That's a handy way of reading music with the tabs rather having to deal with translating from proper musical scores, I just murdered happy birthday, lol. Ah a group thread could be cool, may do that later, off to train now though. peace
That's a handy way of reading music with the tabs rather having to deal with translating from proper musical scores, I just murdered happy birthday, lol. Ah a group thread could be cool, may do that later, off to train now though. peace
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Epic alright. Brown Sugar (double meaning much) is not far behind it. Nice vibe musically on Under My Thumb too, I think those are my 3 fave Stones songs. It's fair to say that, cheers I'l take it as a compliment.
Yeah the tabs are simple you can get any song or even just try a few easy and beginner ones, don't know how to read the sheet music myself. Might even fire back up the AT-200 later today, its been a while.
A beginner group would be cool. I'm sure there are a few more of us here (and some accomplished guitarists who could help out). I'm gonna try that Vipassana meditation in a bit.
Yeah the tabs are simple you can get any song or even just try a few easy and beginner ones, don't know how to read the sheet music myself. Might even fire back up the AT-200 later today, its been a while.
A beginner group would be cool. I'm sure there are a few more of us here (and some accomplished guitarists who could help out). I'm gonna try that Vipassana meditation in a bit.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Thailand
Posts: 824
Pressure been intense gnarly - had to basically work miracles to get the $180+k In contractor wages this month but did it and managed to get our biggest client to reduce their payment terms down to 30 days so some of the pressure should reduce. I hope 😀
Just in hell but things getting better. Had all my blood and saliva and urine tested turns out I'm allergic to grains dairy wheat gluten even bloody mushrooms and strawberries apples etc. Basic paleo on steroids diet for me now. So been knackered all week and trying to deal with all this ****. Smoking heroin has crossed my mind but not seriously - just end up laughing at myself saying that **** is why I'm dealing with all this now.
Still - move on and move up! Must be nearly 70 days clean now. Happy with that, that cheers me up😂😂😂
Just in hell but things getting better. Had all my blood and saliva and urine tested turns out I'm allergic to grains dairy wheat gluten even bloody mushrooms and strawberries apples etc. Basic paleo on steroids diet for me now. So been knackered all week and trying to deal with all this ****. Smoking heroin has crossed my mind but not seriously - just end up laughing at myself saying that **** is why I'm dealing with all this now.
Still - move on and move up! Must be nearly 70 days clean now. Happy with that, that cheers me up😂😂😂
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
hows things Redman? Sounds like you are busting some balls to keep your business afloat. Good work man! Much better than blowing all the cash on your doc. Life here has been grim, kid has been gone with her father for 3.5 weeks but she returns tomorrow. Looking forward to getting back to normal life. On a good note I am sober today and thats what counts. Hope all is well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Thailand
Posts: 824
Redmanc is here - been in court today re work gotta pay someone $7500 in the next week. Work brutal at the minute - getting better slowly but massively in the wars with it still. On the plus side I'm now clean of heroin since Dec 19th so trying to keep a sense of perspective. To top it all off aside of my budiness partner/best mate leaving oz in February one of my best pals and flat mate ***** off to Melbourne in April- and another mate doing one to South America just after. I can live without a flat mate I only have pals living with me at 40 would never share with a stranger but I'll miss the ****. Pressure at work is insanely intense but I'm just used to it now. I've been diagnosed allergic to all grains wheat gluten yeast etc so weigh dropping off me mad how foods affect you got some girls on my case for dates just don't have the bandwidth or the desire to be close to anyone and tell the truth about my l
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Thailand
Posts: 824
Desire to tell anyone about my past loads of lads I know saying what's up with you she's fit etc etc can't tell them the truth so to top it all everyone thinks I'm a weirdo to top it all off lol.
Anyway enough of my tedious life- I had a budgeting session with the accountant on Friday just tedious - feel like I need a change - am sure there is more to life than being tax cattle for the bankers,
How's tired, gnarly, chasing et al? Stratman etc? How's everyone going? Full update from. Everyone please - opiphobe, Marcus et al!
Anyway enough of my tedious life- I had a budgeting session with the accountant on Friday just tedious - feel like I need a change - am sure there is more to life than being tax cattle for the bankers,
How's tired, gnarly, chasing et al? Stratman etc? How's everyone going? Full update from. Everyone please - opiphobe, Marcus et al!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
well thats good weight is dropping off you in a healthy fashion..could be from meth. So awesome you have been sober since the 19th. There is nothing better than sober living if we can keep it that way. I dread when that voice comes back wanting to use, almost fear it. wish it would go away forever!!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
