loss
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: long island ny
Posts: 64
loss
many of you don't know me but i am the mom of an addict. i have read your posts everyday. i lost my son yesterday to heroin just today he was scheduled for a bed in a long term rehab. i will never know the pain you all endure but only know my son couldn't bear it anymore. many of you gave me hope and strength when i had none. i gave my son posts from many of you to read about your struggles and urged him to read in this forum to be amoung those who have been there . thank you alll for sharing your wisdom with others and for many of you i pray you find the strength to reach out for help. big thanks to marcus, your words inspire many.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Oceanlady,
I am so so sorry.....My heart aches for your loss, for your son..He is free from his demons now.
I remember you. You tried so hard to do what you could, but heroin kills so many.
Praying for peace and comfort for your heart. Thank you for sharing this with us, and perhaps it will help someone who is struggling with this killer drug.
Please know we are here if you need us.
I am so so sorry.....My heart aches for your loss, for your son..He is free from his demons now.
I remember you. You tried so hard to do what you could, but heroin kills so many.
Praying for peace and comfort for your heart. Thank you for sharing this with us, and perhaps it will help someone who is struggling with this killer drug.
Please know we are here if you need us.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,125
Oh sweetheart you have me crying at my desk at work. I remember your posts well. How you talked about struggling to decide if you should bail your son out of jail and trying to get him into treatment. I was originally going to send this as a private message but I think your post as well as the responses might be just what one addict needs to read today. Actually I think EVERY SINGLE addict on here needs to read this today.
Sorry really struggling for words right now. I have been to many many funerals for friends who have died from this disease. I have hugged many a parent, sibling, and even sons and daughters standing by the casket of their loved one and it NEVER EVER gets easier. I don't feel like saying Sorry for your loss even begins to convey the sympathy I feel for you, but sometimes there just are no words to convey the devastation that addiction brings to everyone involved. Wish I could give you a big hug right now and even though I never met you in person I feel like I know you.
I am sure you are feeling every emotion in the book right now. The last time I lost a close friend to addiction my emotions went from sadness to anger to sadness to anger and even to slight comfort that my friend no longer had to battle his demons and his addiction.
Unfortunately he had a wife, kids, a loving brother and sister, and loving parents so seeing that devastation quickly brought me back to sadness and anger. The sad thing was he didn't have to battle with his addiction, but couldn't come to that understanding as so many never do.
Sorry not trying to compare what I felt then to what you must be going through now. I have 3 kids that are still fairly young and have a feeling one day I might be on the other side of things if they are anything like their dad. Okay have to stop here or my coworkers will think I am having some sort of nervous breakdown.
I pray that you have loved ones close by to help you through this. Feel free to message me if you would like.
Marcus
Sorry really struggling for words right now. I have been to many many funerals for friends who have died from this disease. I have hugged many a parent, sibling, and even sons and daughters standing by the casket of their loved one and it NEVER EVER gets easier. I don't feel like saying Sorry for your loss even begins to convey the sympathy I feel for you, but sometimes there just are no words to convey the devastation that addiction brings to everyone involved. Wish I could give you a big hug right now and even though I never met you in person I feel like I know you.
I am sure you are feeling every emotion in the book right now. The last time I lost a close friend to addiction my emotions went from sadness to anger to sadness to anger and even to slight comfort that my friend no longer had to battle his demons and his addiction.
Unfortunately he had a wife, kids, a loving brother and sister, and loving parents so seeing that devastation quickly brought me back to sadness and anger. The sad thing was he didn't have to battle with his addiction, but couldn't come to that understanding as so many never do.
Sorry not trying to compare what I felt then to what you must be going through now. I have 3 kids that are still fairly young and have a feeling one day I might be on the other side of things if they are anything like their dad. Okay have to stop here or my coworkers will think I am having some sort of nervous breakdown.
I pray that you have loved ones close by to help you through this. Feel free to message me if you would like.
Marcus
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 341
I am so very deeply sorry for you and your family's loss. My AS is a heroin addict too and I pray this never happens. I know this must be a very hard time for you. Please know that my prayers are with you and you younger son that you will see your way through this. God Bless.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,125
Thinking of you today Ocean as you lay your son to rest. It is another step in the process of trying to heal another horrible wound caused by addiction.
Your story is a great reminder to addicts like myself that addiction is real and so are the consequences. While I was back in my active using days I liked to try to downplay it to myself. You know I really wasn't that bad. I really wasn't hurting anyone but myself. I could quit if I really wanted to. I will quit tomorrow. Just once more. I deserve it. Complete and utter nonsense, but made perfect sense at the time. To thine own self be true.
My prayers go out to you and just wanted you to know strangers all over the world are praying for you as well.
Your story is a great reminder to addicts like myself that addiction is real and so are the consequences. While I was back in my active using days I liked to try to downplay it to myself. You know I really wasn't that bad. I really wasn't hurting anyone but myself. I could quit if I really wanted to. I will quit tomorrow. Just once more. I deserve it. Complete and utter nonsense, but made perfect sense at the time. To thine own self be true.
My prayers go out to you and just wanted you to know strangers all over the world are praying for you as well.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: long island ny
Posts: 64
i am surrounded by the love and support of many friends. i spoke at justins funeral yesterday whcih is something i never thought i would do, i spoke about addiction . i spoke about the understanding that it is not a moral failing but a disease and to reach out and ask for help, there is no shame and no more need for silence. i saw so many of his friends were there,m some in recovery, some not. i spoke about the hope that is out there for them and mentioned this website , don't know how many i reached , if any with my words. while my son was in jail and after he came home i would give him all of your posts from here about your struggles and the strides you have made. i know it didn't reach him but it touched me deeply to read them myself. i rsepsect all of you for your strength to live each day in the best way and to reach out to each other in the hopes of helping someone. you have all inspired me in ways you cannot imagine.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 341
I'm glad it brought you some comfort to bring hope to the young people that attended the funeral. It is important that you take care of you during this time and take care of your younger son and spend the time with him he needs if even for both of you to heal together.
I know there has been so much attention on my AS that my younger son ( 4 years his junior) has oft been neglected. You both may benefit from spending time togher, going for grief counseling, or attending meetings to allow him to also grieve and to heal, as well as gain a deeper understanding of this disease.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. God Bless.
I know there has been so much attention on my AS that my younger son ( 4 years his junior) has oft been neglected. You both may benefit from spending time togher, going for grief counseling, or attending meetings to allow him to also grieve and to heal, as well as gain a deeper understanding of this disease.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. God Bless.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Oceanlady - you never know when something you said at Justin's funeral may help someone else. I think it's amazing that you shared our posts with Justin! No, it didn't stop his untimely death (I truly believe he was like the rest of us when we were using, thinking the worst just WOULDN'T happen to us) but you never know how it may help someone else.
I'm truly grateful you are posting here. I'm both an RA and have lost loved ones to the disease of addiction. My recovery didn't reach them, but I have seen it reach to others and I know what you are sharing will too.
Please know that we all care for you, deeply, and appreciate you posting here. You and your dear Justin will stay in my prayers.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I'm truly grateful you are posting here. I'm both an RA and have lost loved ones to the disease of addiction. My recovery didn't reach them, but I have seen it reach to others and I know what you are sharing will too.
Please know that we all care for you, deeply, and appreciate you posting here. You and your dear Justin will stay in my prayers.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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