snakeman

Hello, I am an opiate addict. I have wasted the last 3 1/2 years of my life taking oxycodone and hydrocodone. I make decent money but I don't ever have any because I literally spend every last dime on pills. When I don't have any money and I'm out of pills, I've done some incredibly stupid things to obtain them. I've stolen money from my ex wife, mom, and grandfather, I've stolen Norcos out of my grandfathers medicine cabinet. One time I actually tried to break my foot with a ten pound weight so the emergency room would write me a prescription for pain killers, except I didn't actually break it and I walked out with a swollen bruised foot and a prescription for extra strength ibuprofen that time. Many other times though, I did actually get a prescription for Norcos for a "hurt knee" from the ER, but I'm pretty sure I'm red flagged now. I am missing a fair amount of teeth because my teeth aren't in the best condition and instead of getting them fixed, I decided to have them pulled because I knew that I would get a nice prescription. When I was still married, my mother in law lived with us. She has MS and gets a hefty prescription for 10/325 norcos every month and would always have tons leftover. She didn't take them often due to her drinking habits. When my wife left, my mother in law went with her and left quite a few norcos behind. Those mixed with depression = addiction I guess lol. I used to be a good person. I am an Air force vet, and I have two very beautiful daughters that I love very much. I don't want to be this person that I have turned into anymore. These pills have taken over my life. A few days ago I decided to stop taking the pills. I am on day 2 without and I feel like ripping my face off. I am also literally just a phone call away from relapse, I don't want to do that but the addict inside me is trying to tell me otherwise. I was wondering about kratom and If it would help. I don't want to take it if it will just prolong withdrawal. I don't want to be on suboxone or anything like that. I can't go to rehab because if my ex finds out she'll take the kids. My mom thinks I'm clean because I lied to her about stopping about a month ago. I think I'm on my own. Can someone tell me about kratom for withdrawal and say something encouraging? Sorry for the long post typing this definitely helped keep my mind off things for a minute..

Anna

If you want to find out about kratom for withdrawal, please talk to your dr. We don't give medical advice here.

And, please remember that you are a good person, not 'used to be'. You have an addiction which you need to deal with and we're here to help.

TiredEnough

Kratom is a opoid so you will have wds from that too when you ditch it. Your best bet is to just eat the 5-7 days of hydro wd and be done with it. It's entirely doable.

Here is the encouraging part: there are many of us here that quit tons of norco and haven't touched one in a long time. You can do it too. Also, we have all done things we regret to get dope. That's over with and history when you stop and stay stopped.

Marcus

Kratom has caused many an opiate addict problems. Here is a thread from the other day that might give you some ideas.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...not-alone.html

brian810

I feel for you and know exactly what you're going through it's a hard thing to hear you just have to say enough and just quit I was in the same boat you were in eleven days ago I'm glad i listened to all these good people here and did it you can do it I did i'm a weak person when it came to using good luck youll be fine

snakeman

I may just stay away from kratom all together. I DON'T want to prolong this dreadful feeling! And I'm sorry, I wasn't sure if that counted as medical advice, my mind is in a very dark place right now. I am desperate for any and all advice. And thank you, but I sure do feel like a bad person. Last year my daughters hardly got any Christmas presents because I needed the money to buy drugs, and thinking about that makes me so very sad and angry at myself. I would rather die than to let that happen again. I'm starting to wonder if it even gets better. I can't remember what it's like to be sober and normal. I took a semester off school to try and get clean. That was probably a good idea, I can't imagine trying to study and go through this, I just hope I feel better before the spring semester. Also this may sound funny/gross and once again I'm sorry if I'm violating any rules, but when I made love to my girlfriend it was like a 10 second relief lol. I'm not sure why but doing that and super hot baths help quite a bit for a small amount of time. It's not so much the physical part, I can handle that. It just feels like a really really bad flu. To be honest, it's the cravings and mental part that is eating me alive. I had a certain really strange routine every single day with taking pills. Certain songs, places and movies/tv shows remind me and set off heavy cravings, and make me want to cry, and I have been crying a lot lately. I'm sorry for the long post again, writing about this and getting it off my chest certainly helps get things off my mind.

Climber122

Snake,

I know it's tough but try not to think about regrets right now. Regrets want to be unbearable so you'll use to get rid of them - that's how they work against you. This is why we in recovery live a "day at time." These sayings sound stupid until you're in the trenches, and then they come in awful handy

So, a day at a time means it doesn't matter what you think you screwed up in the past - today you are sober. I know you feel terrible but you are sober and trying to stay that way. That's all that matters. If you can find a local NA meeting, that would be of immense help to you and would take your mind of the discomfort for a while. Those folks can also give you some strategies to build on what you are doing right now. Hang in there - it gets better.

TiredEnough

It may seem hopeless now but things will look alot different after you get some clean time in. Pay no attention to your mind right now, its wanting dope. I had the same thing after quitting. 10 seconds was about right

Anna

It's very typical to have lots of shame and guilt at the point of stopping drugs/drinking. But, it's very important to not let those feelings overwhelm you because they will drive you back to using.

Take small steps and move forward slowly. You can be the person and the parent that you want to be.

Ashamedof

Hi Snake! I know you're feeling terrible right now but this shall pass bad with opiates , the worst is over within 5-7 days (usually) don't quote me on that. We're all different but you can do things to speed up the healing process. In each wd I've learned a new way to feel better quicker and the best one I've come up with is HEAT! It can be sitting in the sun, sitting in a bath, sauna but heat really helps and you'll sweat out those toxins too. Make sure you drink water , you don't want to get dehydrated. Try your best to eat something, pb on toast is pretty easy to get down and it's good protein.
A good multi vitamin can't hurt either.
Funny movies!! You'll notice how much you actually laugh now , it's something I really missed while messed up on pills. Positive music is another one.
Sex? Yes, it releases endorphins and will give you a surge of happiness, more than usual.
Bananas great for potassium and will help with RLS. Not everyone gets that but I always had the "kicking" in bed. I kicked my husband so hard once he fell off the bed lol. Like I said, it will pass!
The great thing is this: it can't rain forever and you'll emerge a new man. A proud man that cares for his family, a man with feelings and emotions again.
Good luck !

BadSneakers

Hi Snake - Kratom is not the answer. Trust me as someone who has kicked a pharmaceutical opiate habit and a kratom habit. The kratom kick was actually more difficult for me physically/mentally in the short term. There are lots of people who can use it responsibly but I do not believe it is a good tool to use for detox - or for opiate addicts in general. I know lots of people say it has helped them get off and stay off opiates and they now use it for maintenance. Well, the reason it works is because it is a mu and delta opioid receptor agonist - just like the pills/dope they are trying to get off. The internet is overrun with fanboys (like the guy who registered just to hit my thread on the topic) on places like r*ddit who desperately try to play down this stuff's dark side - but it's very real.

You can do this! Loperamide is a big help. Long hot baths will definitely sooth those aching legs, even if temporarily. Avoid anything with diphenydramine (Benadryl) for sleep - since it can make RLS much, much worse in many people. It's in many OTC sleep aids. Just keep in mind this is all temporary. It WILL get much better so hang in there!