Treerat66

Hi Serenidad,
At two years sober it is sometimes hard to remember how I got sober. But today I got chance to relearn. I am in a lot of pain, enough to over ride the pain killers I normally take, enough to make me think 'I wouldn't feel like this if I were smashed'.

biminiblue said
Serenidad said
The moment I thought about drinking I took my stick and hit myself metaphorically over the head with it. Realising I had beaten my AV give me a fantastic rush of pride and self worth.

Keep your stick with you but apply it at the correct moment.

FreeOwl

Great insight treerat!

sugarbear1

Call someone before you get to the store next time.....talk out what is bothering you, use those tools. We can have all the tools we need, but if we don't pick them up, there's no need to get more....

Saskia

Serenidad, I hope you are feeling better. One of the challenges I had that completely frustrated me was the fact that there was no time at all between a craving and the action of going to the store to buy booze. That made all of the well-meaning advice to call someone or post here before acting on the craving essentially impossible for me to do and added to my frustration. That became a vicious cycle and I took a short break from SR. Somehow, for me, when I did the IOP and felt obligated to stick it through 100% sober that finally changed so that I then had enough time between craving and action to get help. That altered the dynamics of the situation completely. From there I was able to finally move on. If you are experiencing something similar, about all I can tell you is that there is hope!

Ruby2

Keep trying. I hope you are well. Reading the responses has been helpful to me. I can see where you're coming from more easily.

When I first was struggling to get sober there was a night when my husband picked a fight with me. I can't even remember what it was about. I grabbed my purse and keys and was headed to the liquor store before I knew it but I paused at my back gate. I was enraged but I paused. I had my hand on the gate and knew that if went through it, I would drink. So I stopped. It was hard and it was painful as I stood there, wanting the temporary relief alcohol would bring, but I made myself pause. I took a time out as Carlotta suggested. Breathed deeply for a while. I shed a few angry tears as I stood there waiting. For I don't know what. But the urge passed.

Hang in there.

aasharon90

During my kids teenage years I had to
remind myself to give my kids enough
space to grow. Both of them were doing
well in school, involved in scouts, band
and other school activities that kept
them in good company and grades
in tact.

It was I who was in recovery working
my own program and had to take care
of me and all my own issues. I had to
learn to give my kids all the room they
needed to grow and mature as individules.

That didn't mean I actually agreed
with all that they did, but in proper
communication, positive reinforcements,
lots of prayers, meetings, we managed
to make it thru those trying yrs.

I was grateful to have my husband of
25 yrs to lend a helping hand and his
family to be present in their accomplishments.

Those yrs are gone now and we all have
gone on to live our lives apart and everyone
is prospering very well. And.....

What a gift and blessing with the help
of my recovery teachings I learned over
the yrs.

Saskia

To briefly expand on one item: for me, my severe PTSD has resulted in great difficulty in thinking rationally when stressed and being over sensitive to feeling pushed when I can't cope. While I don't know what serenidad's issues are, I do know that some of us are more vulnerable to having our thinking brains hijacked when stressed. That can make some very well-meaning advice feel so frustrating. That is probably foreign thinking to some of you. Having been through this difficult journey, I can empathize. That's not to say that someone else's issues are the same as mine but this is by way of trying to explain why what works well for some doesn't necessarily work for all. I had previously stopped drinking for multiple years at least 3 times with the longest lasting 13 years. I don't ever want to go back there again.

Jupiter11

Sorry made a mistake thought I just took a quote from this

AAPJ

Got it - took me a minute to figure out this was an old thread. Sometimes the OP will bring up an old thread they started to give us an update. But not this time. I wonder how Serinidad is doing.

It is a good thread.

Jupiter11

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