TheCrimsonKing

Interesting comment. Believe it or not what I'm advocating is authenticity. Authenticity has a wonderful effect on relationships. What I was getting at to the OP....which is what this thread is about....is that what he is doing is in secret......that is to say, what you do in secret reveals a bigger problem.....if you are doing something in secret you are not being authentic.....if you are not being authentic in your relationship it begs the question.....why? why can't you be authentic with your partner? I believe this is the crux of the problem...

to answer your snide question.....which is what it is....let's call a spade a spade.....why are you asking me that?

No, I am not married. I'll be completely honest and say i don't believe in marriage. I don't believe in getting the state nor the church involved in my personal affairs.

I've answered your question pet. Are you married? Does she wear the pants? I would put my life on it.

I'll add that no I'm not married, however I do have extensive experience and credentials in the matter. Shoul I apologise for giving my opinion? I thought that's what the forum is for?

Dee74

I think Carl asked because us old married blokes can always spot a single guy.
Let's all relax - no need to go all Chuck Norris.

Dee
Moderator
SR

Marcher13

And when you don't drink you are a really nice guy Thomas/Jeff.

TheCrimsonKing

LOL! I don't apologise for giving my opinion....however, that being said...I do apologise if my opinion has come across 'Chuck Norris'!!! (I get what you mean) It's not my intention!!!!!!

Believe me if you were sitting beside me you would see that I''m very easy going and open to other peoples' opinions!!!!!!!

I say what I think.....I suppose that can come across in a different manner....

obosob

I too can spot a single bloke a mile away....
Being sober is the best thing you can do for any relationship...
I used to hide bottles of whisky in the garden....
Real trust with partner is crucial IMO for recovery....
Good luck.

TheCrimsonKing

So how can you spot a "single bloke" a mile away?

I will add something: I'm not married, however I am spinning three plates. Do you know what that means?

Your judging me on what you think is the norm. You've no idea that you're traped in an illusion.

ZaBoozer

Well Jeff, you know what you need to do. Get back on the bicycle and start again. Sometimes a fall is what is needed to spur one on. Best of luck.

TroyW

Due to comments like this:

TheCrimsonKing

elaborate? you can't....can you?

Dee74

Take it to PM.
Let's everyone get back on topic thanks.

Dee
Moderator
SR

TroyW

Glad to hear your decision to stay sober Thomas, and hope you continue it for the duration of your wife's trip. All the best!

thomas11

King, I can do whatever I want, when I want. I don't live in anyone's shadow. But my wife keep me grounded. Not unlike a lot of marriages. I don't do anything in secret. Dude, I own my business and own a handful of houses, I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. But I love my wife and want to make her happy and be proud of the man she married. Does that make sense?

thomas11

hmmm, I've never heard of planting a garden of whiskey. Props to you sir. haha

sva777

Jeff, I completely understand what your saying here. This is how a good marriage works, not one person putting their foot down and in control of everything. It is about shared responsibilities and decisions, you love each other and try to make each other happy. If you don't have that then what's the point.

Solarion

Except when Master Alcohol rings its little bell, and you jump to do its bidding. Isn't that right?

It makes sense, but so what? Does that even make a difference in what you choose to do?

Hoping you choose the better course. But you are also free to choose self-destruction. Because "big boys" are free to do that.