zjw

I can relate but I dont feel that way as much anymore the cloud fades in time. I know i'm maken good choices now if anything I'll hopefully prolong my stay. I think if i was gonna drop dead I woulda a long time ago from my stupid habits.

I feel i've been given a second chance if you will. Sure at first I thought all this trouble and hard work could be for nothing i could drop dead of cirrosis and lung cancer anyway. But I'm still here for some stinken reason.

As far as the abusive past I too feel cheated like i was robbed of a good childhood etc.. something I'll never get back etc.. But I guess i make up for it buy not being afraid to jump on a roller coaster with my kids etc...

I can relate to your forgiveness quotes too I think you have some really valid points forgiving someone who doesnt regret it does seem a bit like validating there behaivior. Its like your giving them a pass or seems like it anyhow.

In my case i called my mom out we worked out our issues I was lucky for that outcome. My stepfather however I havent spoken too almost 20 years and to this day I'm not sure if i could without wanting to grab him by the throat. So I guess I'm not ready to go there yet is all no big deal.

In my case I sometimes home my stepfather will seek me out for whatever reason I dunno I like the idea of him comeing to me asking for forgiveness. I figure if he doesnt he's not truely sorry if he does well maybe he is but could I forgive him? dunno.

hang in there it'll ease up and if your making good healthy choices now your body can heal and things will with any luck wont get any worse. I'd imagine things would start to look up.