sleepie

It's all about saying no. I never say it because I feel I have to make up for myself.
Thank you everyone, I really do appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts.

aasharon90

I was watching a new show called Bye Felicia
where these 2 ladies are life coaches helping
folks achieve their goals in life but needing
help.

One woman had never said NO to her friends
when asked for help because she was afraid of
what they would think of her and possibly loose
her as a friend.

The young woman put all her needs aside to
help her friends and that led her to never completeing
things for herself.

She would go clean up her friends apts. after
a party where they left a huge mess with alcohol
bottle, throw up, GROSS,,,, and her own apt.
clean up suffered.

The life coaches gave her a task for the day,
to complete cleaning her own apt. dishes,
mail and her bedroom clothes. In the middle
of her clean up she gets a phone call wanting
her attention and needed consoling with her
own boyfriend. So, this woman put her own
needs aside. her own tasks aside to run to
the friends aid.

When the life coaches came to chech up
on this womans progress in her apt. they
were highly upset because she didn't do
what was asked of her. I mean, this woman
called the life coaches for help in helping
her get out of the rut she was in and she
didn't follow thru.

Anyway, she realized that if she didn't learn
to say NO to her friends then she would never
move forward in her life.

Finally she did and her friends also learned
to not place spectations on their friend and
help support her in her own needs. So she
could take care of herself and not so much
others.

She learned how to value her self worth which
was extremely empowering.

This is your time. Your Life. Your recovery.

Impurrfect

((Sleepie)) - I'm sorry you drank, but just put it down and start over.

FWIW, when I was new in recovery, I felt "no" was not something I could do. I had made SUCH a mess of my life, I felt I deserved whatever I got.

This went on for a while, I slowly started working and getting back into life, then I relapsed in MAJOR fashion.

At that point, I realized that I had messed up again, but I truly felt that something had changed. I didn't want to use again and I was, finally, ready to do whatever it took. A big part of this was finding out that I am human, just as you are.

We get hungry, we get tired, we feel taken advantage of when someone IS taking advantage of us. Sure, we're a bit fragile in early recovery, but I used that to my advantage. When people wanted more from me than I could do, I just pointed out - look, I'm working full time, I'm trying to get back on my feet and I can only do so much!

YOU are worthy of your own time and nurturing.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Bostonsportsfan

Life might be stressful right now Sleepie, but don't drink about it. I promise you that drinking is only going to make things worse and you're making a lot of good progress lately, so it wouldn't be worth throwing that away. Keep coming to SR if you need support or struggling.

I wish you the best of luck.

Kate15

*Hugs*

chicory

Sleepie, tomorrow is a new day. start fresh, and love yourself first. you deserve good things, and to be your own best friend first.
hug
chicory

markz

Hopefully, I doubt it.

Wish you the best. Trully I do.

sleepie

It was a bump in the road. if anything a reminder where my stress limit is and now I have to figure out what to do next time. I don't think I will be under this kind of stress and I will have to avoid overdoing things but I overcompensate so not sure what to do about that. I think I get to go home in a few days where I can just focus on my new job and my health. I need to be selfish for awhile but we know life doesn't allow that. Hopefully I will figure it out. Thank you for all your time and thoughts, off to work...