Class of October 2013 - Part 13
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 358
Originally Posted by WhoDey 
Cindy ... Great to hear that things are going well with AA Guy!
With regards to Sprint Guy, it worries me that he is expressing suicidal thoughts. My "Guy Advice" to you is that if you need to "break things off" with him, to do so quickly and firmly. That won't be the answer he wants, but it will allow him to move on. It isn't your job to help him through this, so don't get caught up in the situation.
Carry on.
With regards to Sprint Guy, it worries me that he is expressing suicidal thoughts. My "Guy Advice" to you is that if you need to "break things off" with him, to do so quickly and firmly. That won't be the answer he wants, but it will allow him to move on. It isn't your job to help him through this, so don't get caught up in the situation.
Carry on.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 818
Cindy ... Take this for what it's worth coming from not only an armchair relationship expert, but also one who is many miles removed from the situation!
I don't know the context within which the suicidal thoughts were expressed, but I can imagine a situation where he could use such feelings to attempt to keep you involved. I know it's tough to have such conversations, but it's even more difficult to distance yourself when someone is talking in such a way. The bottom line is that if the suicidal thoughts are genuine, you are not qualified to remedy the situation.
Make the break clean.
I don't know the context within which the suicidal thoughts were expressed, but I can imagine a situation where he could use such feelings to attempt to keep you involved. I know it's tough to have such conversations, but it's even more difficult to distance yourself when someone is talking in such a way. The bottom line is that if the suicidal thoughts are genuine, you are not qualified to remedy the situation.
Make the break clean.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 358
Basically, he will send texts like "please pray, chant, do whatever it is you do that I might make it to morning" and they come in at like 2 a.m. so I don't even see them until I get up in the morning. He has sent me 3 such texts in the last two months.
I'm definitely not qualified to help him!
I'm definitely not qualified to help him!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I agree with who dey - whether or not he's genuine when he sends the texts, there's an attempt at manipulation here - I think that a little detaching and distance might be the best thing for you both?
D
D
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 353
Hey Cindy
Sorry not on alot... I agree clean break, been in that spot before tell him it isn't going to work. Please seek proper help. Then block his calls and text.
On the issue of my daughter, she called me yesterday still blaming me for CPS but at least not yelling any longer.. She did tell me a few things to get the g'daughters for Easter.. I had send her a text asking about Easter.
It seems work can tigger me wanting a drink before large family issues, like today it was very stressful at work all I could think about was having a drink when I got home. Yet I came in the door and made a cup of coffee..
WhoDey..Sorry to hear about your friend, but at least he is at peace.
DD- Congrats on the house
Sorry not on alot... I agree clean break, been in that spot before tell him it isn't going to work. Please seek proper help. Then block his calls and text.
On the issue of my daughter, she called me yesterday still blaming me for CPS but at least not yelling any longer.. She did tell me a few things to get the g'daughters for Easter.. I had send her a text asking about Easter.
It seems work can tigger me wanting a drink before large family issues, like today it was very stressful at work all I could think about was having a drink when I got home. Yet I came in the door and made a cup of coffee..
WhoDey..Sorry to hear about your friend, but at least he is at peace.
DD- Congrats on the house
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
So, my AM fell on Friday night and broke her heel. My codie dad didn't bother to call my sister or I for 24 hours after it happened, and then only called because the hospital was saying that she might need surgery. She and my dad were out when it happened, but according to her she only had two drinks. Interesting, considering she clearly has no recollection of the event. She now doesn't need surgery but will be off of her feet for 6 weeks and is equating this to her friends' elective knee and hip surgeries. I am beyond furious. She had the nerve to ask if I was off this week. (which I am not) Further, she claims that all of her tests show her to be in good health. I told her it would be insurance fraud for the hospital to do testing not related to her foot, so if she had any concerns she should tell them about it, so she quickly changed the subject. She does not have a primary care doctor. She hasn't had one in years because she doesn't believe in looking for trouble. Guys, my emotions are running so strong right now.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'm sorry DD.
I think sometimes we need to accept that others have their journey and that some, for whatever reason, are still to leave the starting gate.
I know it's difficult because she's your mom.
I know it's further complicated by 'drunk stuff' she's done in the past.
I know there's another wrinkle in the fact that this no doubt reminds you of your past as well...but I think you need to remember - you're doing great.
You've come a long way - you are not your mom and she is not you DD
D
I think sometimes we need to accept that others have their journey and that some, for whatever reason, are still to leave the starting gate.
I know it's difficult because she's your mom.
I know it's further complicated by 'drunk stuff' she's done in the past.
I know there's another wrinkle in the fact that this no doubt reminds you of your past as well...but I think you need to remember - you're doing great.
You've come a long way - you are not your mom and she is not you DD
D
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 818
Originally Posted by Dee74
I think sometimes we need to accept that others have their journey and that some, for whatever reason, are still to leave the starting gate.
The funeral for the gentleman we cared for was yesterday. I still have a number of loose ends to take care of ... like cleaning out his apartment, but things have settled down considerably from how they've been the last few weeks. Our attention is now on his wife, who receives hospice care herself.
I will never know if my friend's alcohol abuse hastened his death although I suspect it did. I do know, however, that it damaged the relationship with his wife of 53 years which led to her kicking him out of the house. In the end, I'm glad that he's at peace and did not suffer a painful lingering death.
To all of you, I will now be more active with this group. I did read your posts while away, but just didn't have time and the mental energy to post anything of merit.
Rock on, Tobers.
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