The story of an addict... Real life
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
The story of an addict... Real life
So, I didn't get my calls today.... Looks like rehab may or may not happen on Monday. Oh wow, rehab! I can't believe those words our coming out of my mouth and conjunction with this man. College educated, national ranked swimmer at one time, you want scholarships. I was offered so much but getting high and hanging with my girlfriend at the time meant so much more .
Than it happened I met the most beautiful angel ever at 17. We were two peas in a pod, Sid and Nancy, its like we were meant for each other. We loved each other, we were homeless, and went through hell and back together. My life's love, not perfect but perfect for me.
We got married on my 18th birthday, may parents wouldn't emancipate us, they said it wouldn't last, they said we had issues, we were addicts, addict can't last together. They said, we were delusional and no way this teenage angst and love would last. It won't last right, all the substance abuse, all the physical abuse ( yes we got into it a lot) who, what when where, why this love won't last. We got over that, we got straight for some time, got real jobs and fixed some things.
We had Mrs. Tierstan the jewel of our life she is the most beautiful being in the world. Gotta be honest, we didn't want a birth in the beginning, but once it happened. I was a father, my most beautiful wife was a mother. However, Tierstan wasn't right, she wasn't normal, things just didn't seem right.
After much investigation we found out she was autistic. We trusted the experts, we had no choice. Are reprieve alcohol and drugs then ended. We were so upset the drink was the answer. Our daughter was physically abused on a bus, we settled with the school district during those proceedings I was a disability advocate, I knew my place in life helping others. The whole thing was on video are daughter got roughed up and a mugged on a bus, the system we trusted.
Then the unthinkable happened during those proceedings for the first case, she was abused again, they threatened her again, they said " let pull Tierstans hair out" after all this we kept drinking and drinking and drinking interviews and such. Going public, doing what we had to do for our daughter, pressing lobbyist, pressuring state agencies. We tried so damn hard, what we missed it alcohol was taking over, so much stress it was our coping mechanism.
It was about that time I started to hear things that didn't exist. I hit it well, I lied about it, I treated it with alcohol. Stress and anxiety, I didn't know what to do, so I drank, I used.... Disabled daughter, trying to shoulder the world, I thought I could handle it, but I couldn't so I drank more, if I drink it all goes away right? My wife drank because she knew our daughter was disabled and her husband was crazy.
We fought for years, we were on the news, we fought and fought, and never addressed our addiction issues. We wanted the best for Tiestan, but sadly we slid away, we allowed addiction to take over... Then it happened..... my wife got drunk in public, she drank herself to the point her BAC was .50 I was drinking too and bam like that we lost Tierstan. Yep they took her away, all those years and I failed, my wife failed , we might not have been the best parents but we tried.
CPS came the police came, my wife was more than just drunk, she was completely at the whim of the universe. Her fate, the women I love and still loved, might die. She drank to oblivion, she left our daughter unattended. I was so scared to death, I was going to lose my wife and my daughter in one night, poof they too Tierstan, Melissa was whisk to the hospital.
Such a lonely place so scary, but I survived the night. After passing out from exhaustion I survived the night, one hour of sleep, eyes groggy, scared and stiff and confused my wife called me from the hospital confused.
The saga continues, both my wife and I are addicts our daughter is gone and we have just each other. I know so many see my post, now you know about me, alcohol kills and destroys your very being. That is my story if you like share yours in the comments.....
Good day, I didn't get to do rehab today, but I have hope and I hope you still have hope my story as an addict, thank you for reading. Good day.
Than it happened I met the most beautiful angel ever at 17. We were two peas in a pod, Sid and Nancy, its like we were meant for each other. We loved each other, we were homeless, and went through hell and back together. My life's love, not perfect but perfect for me.
We got married on my 18th birthday, may parents wouldn't emancipate us, they said it wouldn't last, they said we had issues, we were addicts, addict can't last together. They said, we were delusional and no way this teenage angst and love would last. It won't last right, all the substance abuse, all the physical abuse ( yes we got into it a lot) who, what when where, why this love won't last. We got over that, we got straight for some time, got real jobs and fixed some things.
We had Mrs. Tierstan the jewel of our life she is the most beautiful being in the world. Gotta be honest, we didn't want a birth in the beginning, but once it happened. I was a father, my most beautiful wife was a mother. However, Tierstan wasn't right, she wasn't normal, things just didn't seem right.
After much investigation we found out she was autistic. We trusted the experts, we had no choice. Are reprieve alcohol and drugs then ended. We were so upset the drink was the answer. Our daughter was physically abused on a bus, we settled with the school district during those proceedings I was a disability advocate, I knew my place in life helping others. The whole thing was on video are daughter got roughed up and a mugged on a bus, the system we trusted.
Then the unthinkable happened during those proceedings for the first case, she was abused again, they threatened her again, they said " let pull Tierstans hair out" after all this we kept drinking and drinking and drinking interviews and such. Going public, doing what we had to do for our daughter, pressing lobbyist, pressuring state agencies. We tried so damn hard, what we missed it alcohol was taking over, so much stress it was our coping mechanism.
It was about that time I started to hear things that didn't exist. I hit it well, I lied about it, I treated it with alcohol. Stress and anxiety, I didn't know what to do, so I drank, I used.... Disabled daughter, trying to shoulder the world, I thought I could handle it, but I couldn't so I drank more, if I drink it all goes away right? My wife drank because she knew our daughter was disabled and her husband was crazy.
We fought for years, we were on the news, we fought and fought, and never addressed our addiction issues. We wanted the best for Tiestan, but sadly we slid away, we allowed addiction to take over... Then it happened..... my wife got drunk in public, she drank herself to the point her BAC was .50 I was drinking too and bam like that we lost Tierstan. Yep they took her away, all those years and I failed, my wife failed , we might not have been the best parents but we tried.
CPS came the police came, my wife was more than just drunk, she was completely at the whim of the universe. Her fate, the women I love and still loved, might die. She drank to oblivion, she left our daughter unattended. I was so scared to death, I was going to lose my wife and my daughter in one night, poof they too Tierstan, Melissa was whisk to the hospital.
Such a lonely place so scary, but I survived the night. After passing out from exhaustion I survived the night, one hour of sleep, eyes groggy, scared and stiff and confused my wife called me from the hospital confused.
The saga continues, both my wife and I are addicts our daughter is gone and we have just each other. I know so many see my post, now you know about me, alcohol kills and destroys your very being. That is my story if you like share yours in the comments.....
Good day, I didn't get to do rehab today, but I have hope and I hope you still have hope my story as an addict, thank you for reading. Good day.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
TDG - i'm so sorry for what you and your family has gone through. Though not my own child, I feel like she is mine, went through the system.
My ES&H says do what is right for YOU right now. Others, you can't control. BTW, I'm both an RA as well as a recovering codie with many loved ones who were, or are still, addicted.
Put one foot in front of the other in YOUR life. Things may or may not work out as you want, but trust me... as long as you do the next right thing, your life will work out. I can't say anything about your wife or daughter.
What I can share is that I'm over 7-1/2 years in recovery. I've worked hard, but never had steady job with a guaranteed paycheck. I just got that job, in the last week.
I thought I would have it all together in a year. Didn't work out that way. What I can say, is that every step I made, every job I took, and every prayer I made.... I now have a job I could only dream of, a relationship with loved ones I never imagined.
It took way longer than I had planned, but it is working out. What I did? The next right foot forward. I worked jobs that didn't pay for living expenses. I worked jobs that wore me out mentally. I got another degree. I kept looking. I clung to SR as my life line.
Am I to ked off that it took this long? Nope, I'm too very being grateful.
I took care of ME, the one person I could control, and it has worked out. I pray for the best for you and your family.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
My ES&H says do what is right for YOU right now. Others, you can't control. BTW, I'm both an RA as well as a recovering codie with many loved ones who were, or are still, addicted.
Put one foot in front of the other in YOUR life. Things may or may not work out as you want, but trust me... as long as you do the next right thing, your life will work out. I can't say anything about your wife or daughter.
What I can share is that I'm over 7-1/2 years in recovery. I've worked hard, but never had steady job with a guaranteed paycheck. I just got that job, in the last week.
I thought I would have it all together in a year. Didn't work out that way. What I can say, is that every step I made, every job I took, and every prayer I made.... I now have a job I could only dream of, a relationship with loved ones I never imagined.
It took way longer than I had planned, but it is working out. What I did? The next right foot forward. I worked jobs that didn't pay for living expenses. I worked jobs that wore me out mentally. I got another degree. I kept looking. I clung to SR as my life line.
Am I to ked off that it took this long? Nope, I'm too very being grateful.
I took care of ME, the one person I could control, and it has worked out. I pray for the best for you and your family.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,707
when i lost my kids to social services care and then my ex wife went off with another as i was trying to stop drink and she wouldnt it crused me and i drank as i never in my life would of believed i could one day get my kids back on my own and be a single parent dad
my kids were abused while in social services care, when i fought them over it all i soon learned just how much power they have to keep things silent in the interests of protecting the children
anyway i had to let it all go and start from day 1 to just focus on me and my drinking and how to stop 1 day at time
i went to aa and those guys helped me more than i can ever repay and it wasnt an easy pat on the head type of treatment i got although they did give me money for food as i had none and people did come and sit with me and keep me company as i was on my own with nothing left
but it was hard action as well
they told me to stop dramatizing things and stop analyzing it all, excpept the situation as it really is, the mess i was in and how the drink had played its part
SO WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT ?
am i going to moan and cry ? or am i going to start my life again from day 1 and focus on not picking up that first drink
they never promised me i would get my kids back or my ex wife back or that my life would be wonderful for ever after
what they did tell me was that no matter what goes on in my life i will never again have to run off to pick up a drink on it ever again so long as i got honest and started to work on me
after only a year of being sober and doing things that was suggested i got my kids back out of social services care
i had gone from a 24 / 7 drunk to a sober man who was now working again and had a stable home for me and the kids to come to
my older kids came to live with me as well as my 2 younger ones so i ended up with 4 kids and job and a home from nothing
it would never have happend if it wasnt for those kind hearted people in aa who helped me in the early days and we totaly honest with me about themselves, they made me see the real me. and shown me a way out
no one has to go down to the level i went down to and many people on this site still have homes and familys and money and jobs etc
there is no need for them to lose any of them so long as they understand that one day what happend to me will happen to them if there an alcoholic
i was a good proud honest man and never once hurt my kids i loved them with all my heart but the drink destroyed it all once it got me in its grips
today i dont want to ever go down that road again it was over 10 years ago for me and not long ago i lost my 16 year old son to stomach cancer and i was the only parent there for him i had to cope with my baby crying and begging that he didnt want to die
i have to live with those memorys and visions everyday since he died and thats over 2 years ago now
but amazingly i dont want to drink on
my life might be unhappy and sad as i miss him everyday but the lessons i have learned in aa have stood me in good stead
i hope you can read this message and get some hope from it tdg
but the bottom line is my friend
what are you going to do about it ?
good luck to you
my kids were abused while in social services care, when i fought them over it all i soon learned just how much power they have to keep things silent in the interests of protecting the children
anyway i had to let it all go and start from day 1 to just focus on me and my drinking and how to stop 1 day at time
i went to aa and those guys helped me more than i can ever repay and it wasnt an easy pat on the head type of treatment i got although they did give me money for food as i had none and people did come and sit with me and keep me company as i was on my own with nothing left
but it was hard action as well
they told me to stop dramatizing things and stop analyzing it all, excpept the situation as it really is, the mess i was in and how the drink had played its part
SO WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT ?
am i going to moan and cry ? or am i going to start my life again from day 1 and focus on not picking up that first drink
they never promised me i would get my kids back or my ex wife back or that my life would be wonderful for ever after
what they did tell me was that no matter what goes on in my life i will never again have to run off to pick up a drink on it ever again so long as i got honest and started to work on me
after only a year of being sober and doing things that was suggested i got my kids back out of social services care
i had gone from a 24 / 7 drunk to a sober man who was now working again and had a stable home for me and the kids to come to
my older kids came to live with me as well as my 2 younger ones so i ended up with 4 kids and job and a home from nothing
it would never have happend if it wasnt for those kind hearted people in aa who helped me in the early days and we totaly honest with me about themselves, they made me see the real me. and shown me a way out
no one has to go down to the level i went down to and many people on this site still have homes and familys and money and jobs etc
there is no need for them to lose any of them so long as they understand that one day what happend to me will happen to them if there an alcoholic
i was a good proud honest man and never once hurt my kids i loved them with all my heart but the drink destroyed it all once it got me in its grips
today i dont want to ever go down that road again it was over 10 years ago for me and not long ago i lost my 16 year old son to stomach cancer and i was the only parent there for him i had to cope with my baby crying and begging that he didnt want to die
i have to live with those memorys and visions everyday since he died and thats over 2 years ago now
but amazingly i dont want to drink on
my life might be unhappy and sad as i miss him everyday but the lessons i have learned in aa have stood me in good stead
i hope you can read this message and get some hope from it tdg
but the bottom line is my friend
what are you going to do about it ?
good luck to you
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,669
TDG.... Wow. Staggering stuff. My heart goes out to you and I offer you strength....
Desypete's story is an amazing example of what can happen when you give yourself fully to recovery.
I hope to see your own story take a similar path.
Desypete's story is an amazing example of what can happen when you give yourself fully to recovery.
I hope to see your own story take a similar path.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,046
J how does the application for rehab work do you just ring everyday ?
you do realise that your situation is as serious as it gets im not sure if your processing all this
you need help J you know this....do you think i didnt have to get help ? we all did in some way form or shape we seeked help
J you say you go aa nearly daily ? it seems like you just want to forget and pretend this isnt happening ?
J i am your friend i pm you i stay in contact i update you
all i can hear in you is pain and fear and i get that but if your struggling and i think its fair to say you are then for things to get better you must seek help aka rehab everything else isnt working you wont take your meds child services got involved this is way serious and your turning your attention to SR which isnt normally a bad idea but SR isnt keeping you out of trouble either you say youve tried aa
Do the rehab at any cost and asap is what i say i am worried about you
you do realise that your situation is as serious as it gets im not sure if your processing all this
you need help J you know this....do you think i didnt have to get help ? we all did in some way form or shape we seeked help
J you say you go aa nearly daily ? it seems like you just want to forget and pretend this isnt happening ?
J i am your friend i pm you i stay in contact i update you
all i can hear in you is pain and fear and i get that but if your struggling and i think its fair to say you are then for things to get better you must seek help aka rehab everything else isnt working you wont take your meds child services got involved this is way serious and your turning your attention to SR which isnt normally a bad idea but SR isnt keeping you out of trouble either you say youve tried aa
Do the rehab at any cost and asap is what i say i am worried about you
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 101
I appreciate the honesty that I have read in these posts. TDG I understand the difficulty you have faced with trying to raise an autistic daughter at such a young age. My sister used to work as a behavioral therapist with autistic kids and from my understanding of autism; this is one of the most difficult disabilities to treat. I can only tell you what I have learned from my sister; it is imperative that both parents of any autistic child become involved with and support the treatment that their child requires. You and your wife must be sober in order to give your daughter the care and support that she needs. It is obvious that you love your daughter so please get the inpatient rehab treatment that you need so that you can be there for her. PLEASE DO THIS FOR YOU AND YOU DAUGHTER!!! It is basically do or die!!!
KIDS before DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!
KIDS before DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!
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