bartenders in recovery?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 21
bartenders in recovery?
Hi everyone - day 3 of my sobriety and I feel pretty good. Around now I would probably be pretty uncomfortable without a drink (and I am) but I've been staying busy. Got to babysit a friends 6-month old today and had lots of pumpkin coffee (I am happy it is autumn!)
My question for everyone is, has anyone worked as a bartender and been sober or tried to get sober while they worked in a bar?
I have been a bartender for two years at a nicer restaurant. I make great money, work comfortable hours, and always have someone to talk to at work. I also teach wine tasting classes. I don't think being a bartender encouraged my drinking problem (I had a problem before then.) But I admit, it can be difficult making drinks all night and not being able to go out for drinks with the waiters after work, just because in this industry that's what we do when we get out late at night! Pretty much though, I see the booze there as "just for work"... it's when I get home or leave work and booze is available elsewhere that it gets difficult... if that makes sense? (Another reason why I sometimes convince myself I'm not a "true" alcoholic.)
Most people in recovery say to not be around alcohol at ALL when trying to get sober.... but I can't quit my job. I wish I had that luxury. But I don't. I don't plan on doing it forever. I have a degree in psychology, but right now bartending is what pays the bills.
I would prefer for people not to tell me to "get a new job" and that I "won't be able to stay sober" if I continue to work in a bar (the ladies in AA tell me that every meeting....) but I would like peoples' thoughts or input on the matter
My question for everyone is, has anyone worked as a bartender and been sober or tried to get sober while they worked in a bar?
I have been a bartender for two years at a nicer restaurant. I make great money, work comfortable hours, and always have someone to talk to at work. I also teach wine tasting classes. I don't think being a bartender encouraged my drinking problem (I had a problem before then.) But I admit, it can be difficult making drinks all night and not being able to go out for drinks with the waiters after work, just because in this industry that's what we do when we get out late at night! Pretty much though, I see the booze there as "just for work"... it's when I get home or leave work and booze is available elsewhere that it gets difficult... if that makes sense? (Another reason why I sometimes convince myself I'm not a "true" alcoholic.)
Most people in recovery say to not be around alcohol at ALL when trying to get sober.... but I can't quit my job. I wish I had that luxury. But I don't. I don't plan on doing it forever. I have a degree in psychology, but right now bartending is what pays the bills.
I would prefer for people not to tell me to "get a new job" and that I "won't be able to stay sober" if I continue to work in a bar (the ladies in AA tell me that every meeting....) but I would like peoples' thoughts or input on the matter
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,631
Hi SC - there's a few threads about other people in this position.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tay-sober.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...bartender.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...der-right.html
I couldn't have done it. I think it's a lot to ask anyone in early recovery.
If you absolutely cannot quit your job then you're going to have to do a lot of work to stay focused and committed - and you'll need a strong and available sober support base, like SR , but also maybe face to face stuff and real peoples telephone numbers, like AA?
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tay-sober.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...bartender.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...der-right.html
I couldn't have done it. I think it's a lot to ask anyone in early recovery.
If you absolutely cannot quit your job then you're going to have to do a lot of work to stay focused and committed - and you'll need a strong and available sober support base, like SR , but also maybe face to face stuff and real peoples telephone numbers, like AA?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 21
Thank you Dee!! These are great.
I have been going to meetings and I am going to try to work the steps. I have books full of phone numbers and even a woman that I check in with often. She tells me that every time I pour a drink at work, say in my head "this is poison, this will kill me." It helps!
I have been going to meetings and I am going to try to work the steps. I have books full of phone numbers and even a woman that I check in with often. She tells me that every time I pour a drink at work, say in my head "this is poison, this will kill me." It helps!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 4
SC.
I have been a NYC bartender and bar owner for the better part of 14 years (I am now 39). Over the course of that time, I allowed myself every opportunity to let this disease progress. By 2011, I was hired at THE most lucrative bar job in the city. The restaurant is also 39 years old. I worked 3 nights per week and made 6 figures for the first time. I lost the job for drinking after a year. Then because of it's extreme demand, I was not replaceable. They took me back! Then I lost it again, because of drinking. It is ALWAYS in our heart of hearts that we don't want to do it anymore. This is an incredibly powerful disease, take heed. I then opened my own place in NYC (nearly impossible dream), and lost it to drinking. Thankfully, my amazing girlfriend stayed with me and I cleaned up my act (so we thought), but then I progressed to stage 3 of chronic alcoholism. It became my god. A little over two months ago, I was bar managing a dear, sober friends very successful bar and I picked up a drink. I could not stop. Long story short. I lost my fiancé, our apartment, and the job. I ended up in treatment just to stop. $20,000 later. I am pretty close to broke, in California, trying to figure out what to do. I have all of the talents and genes one could wish for and I allowed to alcohol to become my almighty. Point is, at 3 days, why don't you just keep working, don't pick up the first drink, go to a meeting EVERYDAY, don't talk about work, and see if you can make it 30 days. Then, do it again. I will be going back to the business and try to start all over very soon. I am 72 days sober and looking forward to sleeping more than anything. Cunning, baffling and powerful. I hope you are just a heavy drinker that needs help. NOT an alcoholic. Good luck!
I have been a NYC bartender and bar owner for the better part of 14 years (I am now 39). Over the course of that time, I allowed myself every opportunity to let this disease progress. By 2011, I was hired at THE most lucrative bar job in the city. The restaurant is also 39 years old. I worked 3 nights per week and made 6 figures for the first time. I lost the job for drinking after a year. Then because of it's extreme demand, I was not replaceable. They took me back! Then I lost it again, because of drinking. It is ALWAYS in our heart of hearts that we don't want to do it anymore. This is an incredibly powerful disease, take heed. I then opened my own place in NYC (nearly impossible dream), and lost it to drinking. Thankfully, my amazing girlfriend stayed with me and I cleaned up my act (so we thought), but then I progressed to stage 3 of chronic alcoholism. It became my god. A little over two months ago, I was bar managing a dear, sober friends very successful bar and I picked up a drink. I could not stop. Long story short. I lost my fiancé, our apartment, and the job. I ended up in treatment just to stop. $20,000 later. I am pretty close to broke, in California, trying to figure out what to do. I have all of the talents and genes one could wish for and I allowed to alcohol to become my almighty. Point is, at 3 days, why don't you just keep working, don't pick up the first drink, go to a meeting EVERYDAY, don't talk about work, and see if you can make it 30 days. Then, do it again. I will be going back to the business and try to start all over very soon. I am 72 days sober and looking forward to sleeping more than anything. Cunning, baffling and powerful. I hope you are just a heavy drinker that needs help. NOT an alcoholic. Good luck!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 21
SG, thank you so much for your post. I don't want to let my drinking progress anymore. I am young. If it is this bad now, I can imagine what it will be like in 5, 10 years... if I even live that long. Your story made me sad but a big congratulations on 72 days. That is an amazing thing. I wish you luck and success in whatever the future brings!
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Most people in recovery say to not be around alcohol at ALL when trying to get sober.... but I can't quit my job. I wish I had that luxury. But I don't. I don't plan on doing it forever. I have a degree in psychology, but right now bartending is what pays the bills.
I would prefer for people not to tell me to "get a new job" and that I "won't be able to stay sober" if I continue to work in a bar (the ladies in AA tell me that every meeting....) but I would like peoples' thoughts or input on the matter
I would prefer for people not to tell me to "get a new job" and that I "won't be able to stay sober" if I continue to work in a bar (the ladies in AA tell me that every meeting....) but I would like peoples' thoughts or input on the matter
Remind those ladies in AA that Bill Wilson kept liquor in his house. Also one of AA's early members was a bar owner. You won't get this info in meetings, you have to read to get it. Specifically "Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers", a history of Dr. Bob's life and early AA.
Just carry on, stay sober and most importantly work the steps!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,631
Originally Posted by Taking5 
This has not been my experience and I know lots of bartenders/servers in recovery.
Remind those ladies in AA that Bill Wilson kept liquor in his house. Also one of AA's early members was a bar owner.
Remind those ladies in AA that Bill Wilson kept liquor in his house. Also one of AA's early members was a bar owner.
I know that there comes a time where we can go anywhere and do anything...I'm not sure it's great advice to folks on day 3 tho T5.
D
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,046
I can be around alcohol I have no problem except that I hate it it makes my skin crawl its poison
Taking 5
Just cos i can be around it doesn't mean I have to to prove my sobriety like look at me I'm super sober I hold beer but don't drink it etc
Its pathetic its not freedom being around something that damn well nearly killed us
If u shot urself in the foot after surgery or any time for that matter would you go firing a gun near ur foot ? Let alone fire a gun again after the acknowledgement it nearly killed you
For me this is blatent alcoholism at its worst oh I'm OK I'm secure drink ur beer I am OK
To me even tho I'm cool with it seems pretty stupid no offence but that's how I feel
Completely agree with dee here
Taking 5
Just cos i can be around it doesn't mean I have to to prove my sobriety like look at me I'm super sober I hold beer but don't drink it etc
Its pathetic its not freedom being around something that damn well nearly killed us
If u shot urself in the foot after surgery or any time for that matter would you go firing a gun near ur foot ? Let alone fire a gun again after the acknowledgement it nearly killed you
For me this is blatent alcoholism at its worst oh I'm OK I'm secure drink ur beer I am OK
To me even tho I'm cool with it seems pretty stupid no offence but that's how I feel
Completely agree with dee here
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