aug

Hi all,
I am an alcoholic working (alone) in a bar 3 nights a week. Today is hopefully my first day sober, but I'm worried about what will happen when I go to work tonight. Usually the first thing I do when I come to work is pouring me a beer. Then I will drink another one, and another one. Unless the place gets packed with people and I don't have time to drink, I will usually be drinking all night. I don't get wasted since I am working and it is illegal. But I drink just so much that I can still function normally (or close to normally), and then I binge drink when I'm closed.

I have said to myself a trillion times that "tonight I am not going to drink", but I always fail.

I don't keep alcohol in the house, so I don't get tempted here, but at work there is alcohol everywhere! I really don't know how to tell myself the right things when I get tempted.

Reading on this forum (I haven't been here before) is a great motivation, though.

(sorry if my english is bad, it's not my first language)

Mcribb

Sam was an alcoholic on cheers.

soberclover

Is it possible for you to find another job that doesn't involve alcohol? I think it is wonderful that you have realized you need to make some life changes around your drinking; this site has been really good support for me. Glad you are here! I think if you can get a few sober days behind you, you will realize how much better you feel

Ghostlight1

Hello and welcome..
During my drinking career I've known plenty of bartenders. Some were drinkers, some weren't.
I know I'd be one if I bartended.
No great words of wisdom except to try and keep busy at work so you don't have time to drink.
Stick around here, you'll find lots of support. Best to you.

SoberHoopsFan

From what I've seen on here, this can be tricky. Some with long-term sobriety can do it, others would never feel comfortable. But I haven't seen any stories of those in early sobriety balancing this job. That said, it isn't impossible, you still control your hands and actions, but is a bar really the best place to spend a lot of time when trying to get sober? In sobriety, I hate being around drunk people personally.

Welcome aboard, I hope you can find strength here.

aug

Thanks for the replies! I am not able to get another job anytime soon. I live in a small village and there aren't a lot of options. I also start to study in a few weeks, so I need an evening job. Next year I'm moving to another city to take a masters degree in applied physics at a university. Probably will not be working then.

I will try to stay strong tonight. 1st of August marks the new beginning

HeadLump

Welcome, Aug

Try to concentrate on how well you'll feel in the morning if you don't drink tonight. See if you can make up some interesting mocktails to drink as you work.

Rooting for you!

Wastinglife

Aug, to be quite honest, I don't like your chances of staying sober as long as you have this job. As an alcoholic myself, the only way for me to maintain sobriety is to stay away from people, places, and things that test my resolve to not drink. The fact that you have little supervision and are surrounded by the very thing that you may be developing an addiction to is a recipe for disaster. I think you should consider getting a new job. I lost everything in life to alcoholism. It's progressive and will get much worse than it is now for you if you don't get help.

IOAA2

Welcome. I’ve been active in AA for a lot of years and do not see working around alcohol a good choice if trying to get/stay sober. People have a saying that we will go to any length to stay sober. More power to you if you can do it but don’t beat yourself if you encounter real difficulty.

BE WELL

Meraviglioso

You English is amazing, major compliments there. I have lived in Italy for many years and am STILL not completely fluent. You should be very proud of your language skills. As for your work, that is going to be really tough and I agree with others, the chances of you succeeding while still working there are slim. But there is still a chance. You CAN do this. You can. Try the AA motto of one day at a time but break it down into smaller chunks. Go to work saying to yourself, "I will not drink tonight" When you arrive get all of your opening side work done, say that you will do that first before drinking. Once you have done that, put off that drink for another half an hour- you can do that, wait a half an hour. Once you make it to that, pick a time and put off the drink until then. Keep going like this all night long, keep putting off that drink. Once you get to the end of the night say you won't drink until closing time. Once closing time comes, you need to do your closing side work, put that drink off until after that. Once you have done all that... well, it's time to go home! Skip the drink, go home sober and wake up feeling great. I know it is hard, I put myself in a tempting situation yesterday where I had ready access to alcohol I bought for a dinner party but I didn't do it. Don't do it. You will be so happy tomorrow.

ESD907

Velkommen. glad du er her. I don't think you are alone in being an alcoholic bartender. I know of a few who are in recovery. Usually, they were going to be fired if they didn't quit drinking on the job. And after they became sober, they didn't like dealing with drunks at all. Many found new jobs. It can be done, but will most likely be difficult. Good that you don't drink at home. Sounds very work related. Let your self be drink free for one day, see how it goes. you can always have that drink the next night.....

firstymer

aug, all you have to do is read the posts here to know just how hard it is to get and to stay sober. Some of us never achieve the goal, even under the best of circumstances. To try to get and stay sober while continuously pouring alcohol for others seems.....well, like a near impossibility.

I hope the best for you. Please post often and let us know how you are doing.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!! It's great to have you onboard!!

Dee74

Welcome Aug

I've known a few non drinking bartenders so it's possible - tough but possible.

If you can't leave the job, I think you're really going to be committed and have really strong boundaries of not drinking ever.

does that sound achievable to you?

D

least

Welcome to a fellow Norwegian! (my family is from Norway) Your English is just fine.

It will be more difficult to stay sober while working at a bar, but it can be done if you want to be sober more than you want to drink.

360shoes

Hi Aug,
Welcome!
I worked at a bar twice in my working career and both times I didn't drink. I had quit before I took the jobs. So I've done it. Nobody paid to much attention to whether I was drinking or not. I'd get asked sometimes. And sometimes people would want to buy me a drink and I just said...I don't drink but thank you anyway.

Like Dee said it's not easy but some people can do it.

One thing I did like about it was I always walked out the door with all my tips where as all the other staff seemed to p*ss half theirs away on drinking.

I liked being different. Wasn't crazy about drunk obnoxious people but normal people having a few never bothered me. I knew I couldn't do that. If I started drinking, I more than not didn't stop till I drank myself stupid.

I think it boils down to we can't wish we didn't drink. We have to decide we don't drink. And then take it one step further and say...no matter what..I don't drink. And if we can do that...great. But if we can't then it means we need to change somethings so we can get there.

Just me anyway and just my opinion about me.

Welcome!

soberjuly

I actually tended bar when I was in college. However, I never drank. Not once. It feels weird now, I'm not even sure why I just wasn't interested. So it is possible I guess for some people. However, doesn't sound like the right fit for you.

I see you are from Norway, I used to live in Sweden. I have 2 kids who are fluent in Swedish and English.

At least with Midsommer over, this is the best time of the year to start with abstinence.

Mags1

Hello Aug, welcome to SR.

Rosie88

One of my old favorite bars, the bartender was a recovering alcoholic. He had years under his belt.

I'm with everyone else... I think it'll be extremely hard. I understand the need for night work. I'm in college too. I used to work in a corporate restaurant for almost 6 years. As a server though. Couldn't even get alcohol to drink serving.

However! Are there any corporate restaurants around you? The corporate ones absolutely do not allow drinking. That might help if you found a job there. Or better yet, instead of bartending... Maybe try serving in a restaurant? One that doesn't allow you to touch the alcohol except when it's in a glass or bottle to serve. You won't e able to drink then. I know the tips can be quite sweet in the restaurant industry.

I wish you luck currently. Keep strong! Drink some cranberry juice and soda. That may help the cravings!

anattaboy

Sounds to me like your place of work is a big part of your habitual behavior. A 3 to 5 day detox would help but some iron resolve will still be required no matter what. I too know a barmaid with 20 yrs. sober. She says it's a great reminder as to what alcohol will do , counsels many and has even brought a few to the other side (AA). Not sure about her early days but as someone else stated, it's obvious she has "completely smashed the idea that she could ever drink again". Best wishes and godspeed my friend.