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PAWS and early recovery

Old 12-10-2013, 07:40 PM
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PAWS and early recovery

Hello! New to the site myself. Drinker for almost 20yrs and 'just' a weekend drinker the last 9yrs. (I remember i was so proud of myself when i quit drinking every night, lol.) Finally had enough of the rollercoaster this October and WOW I was Totally unprepared for anything after the acute phase and the 'pink cloud'. I had never even heard of PAWS despite talking with counselors and doctors both about trying to quit my drinking the past few years. I have been reading many forums since AlcoholFree (this makes 43 days now), that's how i learned of the PAWS, and this forum especially struck a chord while reading all of the postings. (Thanks to all even the ones from years ago).
I am sure i don't even need to tell anyone that is years sober now how much your dialogue means. I could use some of that presently
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Old 12-10-2013, 07:52 PM
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Welcome to the posting side of things IamJoel
glad you've joined us

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Old 12-10-2013, 07:59 PM
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Welcome, IamJoel. At 43 days, you are way ahead of me, but I can say that there is a lot of support here. Let us know how things are going. By the way, what's PAWS?
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Old 12-10-2013, 08:00 PM
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Old 12-10-2013, 08:03 PM
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By the way, what's PAWS?
here you go Malcolm:

PAWS | Digital Dharma

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Old 12-11-2013, 12:19 AM
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43 days is pretty epic! I think every one of us respects that. Getting through that first few days to a week was the hardest part for me...pure panic, couldn't sleep, couldn't breathe once I laid down and turned off the lights. That's one reason I don't ever want to drink again- I don't want to face another day one!
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Old 12-11-2013, 03:25 AM
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Welcome to SR Joel x

I think I suffered from a protracted PAWS period. The hard part was thinking that everyone else was bouncing off the walls when they quit. I didn't even get a pink cloud... It really helps knowing others go through the same thing x
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Old 12-11-2013, 03:29 AM
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Welcome!
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Old 12-11-2013, 06:29 AM
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I love reading about PAWS. Its a reality check for me. I totally experience it. The emotional roller-coaster, and stress? Yea over-stressed and I over react to everything. Anxiety? Oh yea that too. I'm at 4+ Months so I guess I'm right in the middle of the worst.
Its funny the first few times I got sober I thought PAWS was a load of crap, but this time I am in close communication with the people from my program and we are all just all over the map. Its great to be able to notice the PAWS and help support one another.
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Old 12-11-2013, 06:43 AM
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Ya, That is me. I am sober 30 plus days and I am a mess emotionally. Taking it one day at a time though. It will get better, the people I see with serious clean and sober time are a living testament to it. Hang in there, you are soooo not alone! Glad you are sober. Keep up the good work.
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Old 12-11-2013, 08:35 AM
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Welcome to the posting side of the forum Joel!
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Old 12-11-2013, 09:21 AM
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Welcome to SR. I'm at day 3, not fun, not fun at all. But hell better than the guilt and stupid hangovers!
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Old 12-11-2013, 09:45 AM
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Yeah it's funny, I always thought the 'one day at a time' thing referred to just avoiding drinking. I have no urge to drink but the negatives (depression, anxiety, dread of the future) are almost debilitating at times and looking forward to several more months of this constantly is almost impossible. Taking the days one partial chunk at a time and hoping I notice improvements over the course of the weeks. Thanks all.
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Old 12-11-2013, 10:33 AM
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Just joined the site because iv come to conclusion that ineed help but im not ready to join group or get a therapist. I crewted the problem so i should be able to fix it. Right? Welcome iamjoel and thanks to all for sharing. Hearing your words has shown me that i am not alone.
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Old 12-11-2013, 11:42 AM
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I too appreciate reminders on PAWS. I am almost at the 4 month mark. Since I stopped drinking the dark cloud of anxiety and depression lifted almost immediately .. Maybe two to three weeks into the sobriety trek.

All of a sudden, over the last 3 days, I have once again started to feel a bit anxious... not depressed... just anxious. I have a pit in my stomach. It is like I am waiting for something bad to happen. It is anxiety.
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Old 12-11-2013, 07:36 PM
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Thanks for the input friends! I do read all of your posts and appreciate every one. I am aware that it is common place but i also know for a fact that reading other peoples accounts is beneficial to me. It also reminds me that everyones recovery tends to vary from others in many ways.
Today My PAWS finally gave me a period of 4-5 hrs in a row of just the anxiety, which actually felt kind of good to be honest. Sleep still sucks, mostly hour long "doze & dreams" for the time i'm in bed until i stay awake. GETTING OUT OF BED the same time every morning has become a problem. I feel so lethargic until i start working out a couple hours later it's crazy, i feel like i'm in 1.5x our normal gravity.
WillB you did join a group...this one If you meant AA you don't really Join one...you just go to one. You don't have to say anything at them many people don't, listening to the others talk is like reading what others type here, and it reminds you that you are FAR from alone!
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Old 12-20-2013, 05:06 PM
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Thumbs up

58 days!
I would wait till 60 days to celebrate so to speak but would forget. It's funny how reading about the PAWS and understanding why and how it happens didn't amount to a hill of beans to me. Until i became sober you could have told me your stories all day and night but i still would not have understood. For me now, after 2 months i actually know that the huge up and down cycles at the beginning tapered off rather quickly. I also know for a fact that the cycles are lasting longer in my case. Seems common sense to me that it might be taking it's time, but she IS slowly winding down! We are all different, i like to think of it as my own Personal case of PAWS that i have to finish like a puzzle. Only instead of putting it together all you have to do is make it through...and once you do that...it IS finished. (And then on to the Next puzzle The hard part is to remember & Believe that life is improving during the bad parts of the cycles or when it feels like life still sucks, as those Are temporary.
Anyone else with input from their first year of AF please feel free to chime in and compare. Take care
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Old 12-20-2013, 05:08 PM
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Congrats on your progress Joel

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Old 12-20-2013, 05:16 PM
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That's wonderful news Joel.
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Old 12-20-2013, 05:21 PM
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Congrats on your 40 plus days. Reading about PAWS helps me too. To know that all of the ups and downs could last two years is a little daunting, but it's getting better every day. A journey for sure.
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