Gingerale4me

I'm on day 6 and starting to feel myself crumble. Fridays are my dangerous days to begin with and my friends have been calling/texting since last night. I just got another one 5mins ago saying, "where are you? I need a drink." I'm trying to stay strong, but I hate turning my back on my friends especially when I know one of them has been going through a lot lately and I'm one of the few people she can talk to. Biggest problem is I don't feel like I can respond without putting myself in jeopardy at least not this weekend. I feel so guilty.

Also, posted same message in alcoholism forum by mistake bc I'm panicky =(

pooky

Don't go out. If you go it will just be a huge temptation..One that is very hard to resist. Stay on here with us and post and chat. There is also a chat room here. Welcome

Dee74

I had to make a lot of changes to stay sober - one of those was friends or, rather drinking buddies. My real friends understood why I was quitting drinking and supported me.

If this is really important to you, invite her to your place and talk it out over coffee...

anything else is just your addiction trying to bargain and inveigle you into the same old situations and the same old traps, MP.

D

Hevyn

Hi Mythic. I had that same trouble every time I tried to stop. Finally I put myself and my sobriety first and stopped doing things that led to temptation. At least until I grew stronger and more determined. We're fragile in those first weeks.

Please know that it won't always feel this difficult. It gets so much easier as you get some sober time behind you.

Inca

Take care of you right now and do what you need to do to stay sober and stay on track.

Your friends will be fine for now and should understand. Since the constant texts are bothering you, I might suggest actually responding and letting them know that you will not be going out tonight and am taking a break from drinking. Hopefully the pleading over text will then stop for you. Best wishes.

Gingerale4me

Thanks. I know going out right now is the worst idea ever. Hopefully sunday or monday morning she and I can go have some coffee together. I just don't feel comfortable with her until I'm at a week. That darn AV is talking loudly tonight. Too bad earplugs don't help =P

KateL

If they are true friends they would understand. Good for you, not going out xx

Anna

Yes, a coffee date is a good idea. Making lifestyle changes, including some friends/family members, was so important for me. It was interesting how making those changes paved the way for more changes in my life. When I decided what I needed to do or not do in order to stay sober, I began putting my needs first, instead of last. Gradually I found balance because it's not healthy to always put yourself first, but for me, it was a novelty.

NoJimmy

Good idea not to go out. Better plan meeting for coffee in the morning if it's important. I second the notion that you may want to take an honest look at your friends. Not everyone gets to come with us on this journey. The friend texting you to come drinking, bad news there. Just me, but I'd set that straight or block the number.
I just heard someone say in a meeting last night "how I was doing Thursday night dictated how Friday and Saturday were going to go, ice cream and movies, or ambulance rides". I thought it made sense.

FluffUSPS

Phoenix...we had a place outside at work, right near the parking lot, on the other side of the fence. The guys used to gather there every day after work and party. I partied with them for a long time. Once I started my recovery, I stopped going. But I made an effort to wave at them, and be a good listener at work when they had problems, and just be a good work friend. But I casually hinted without revealing anything, that I didn't drink anymore. They got the picture after a while. And you know what happened? They eventually started seeking me out whenever they had a special problem...usually one involving drinking or addiction. I was careful not to break anonymity, but I was receptive and helpful as I could be. To this day, our work and social relationships are strong as they ever were. I got a gift I didn't ask for or expect: respect. One of many gifts I have received in my sobriety.

Mirage74

Thanks for posting you are struggling, MP. I am back on day 1 and my mind is going nuts. If I can just get through X-Mas I think it will settle down. Just know you're not the only one having a hard time with this. Good Luck

Gingerale4me

Thanks everyone. So glad I found this site again. Managed to make it through tonight (yay for the SR's chat meetings too). Although, I'm super exhausted. Almost like I ran a marathon, but at least now I can work on my 7th day tomorrow. =)
Also, weeding through my friends is so difficult, but I know I need to. If we don't have anything else in common and can't find new activities then it isn't much of a friendship. Thanks for the advice.

deeker

Hang in There MythicPhoenix, you have to be number#1, Your emotional , mental and physical sobriety should come before anything and anyone.
You'll feel better tomorrow.

Remember feelings pass but the consequences of drinking and or drugging could last a life time.