Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery? > Newcomers to Recovery
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read Chat Room [7]





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-01-2013, 12:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Admiral's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 301
Back again

I'm back again, I've been high for pretty much seven days now. Starting in the afternoon, and then on and off all the way up until bed time. I'm tired of operating at 70% all the time. I'm not as effective at work, my progress towards controlling my anger went out the window, and I'm just not as capable and alert, which is getting old.

The big hurdle is that I bought a vaporizer and don't know what to do with it. It's a really small model about the size of a pill bottle, it cost 80 dollars which is kind of a lot. In the past I've thrown out all my pipes, but this thing was so expensive, I don't really want to keep it around but that price is just hovering over my head when I think about tossing it, what a waste, what an irresponsible purchase. What was I thinking? Surely I knew this day would come, how could I have let such a short sighted and impulsive purchase slip past my reasoning? The stash is all gone, that was easy to flush, but I just can't get rid of this thing. I've been here long enough to know that people will say sobriety is more important than 80 dollars, but the guilt over it is pretty heavy and I could use some help in dealing with that.
Admiral is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 12:58 PM   #2 (permalink)
Guest
 

Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,242
I don't have anything to say that can help but wanted to send a hug x
lorelei is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to lorelei For This Useful Post:
Admiral (09-01-2013)
Old 09-01-2013, 01:15 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
IOAA2's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,322
Admiral. Thanks for my remember when in my quitting drinking days I went and purchased a set of fine rather expensive drinking glasses. It's interesting because I'm trying to stop and going to AA and comparing hair brained things others had experienced and thought I'm not that bad! I know it varies but it showed me that brain and reasoning damage had occurred with all my drinking one day at a time. It doesn't have to happen any more if we don't pick up that first drink/drug. BE WELL
__________________
AA IS NOT A SENTENCE, ITíS A REPRIEVE.

ALCOHOL-ISM= INCREDIBLE SHORT MEMORY.

I CAME FOR MY DRINKING AND STAYED FOR MY THINKING.

WE ARE NOT FAILING AS LONG AS WE KEEP TRYING.

WHAT I USED TO CALL BOREDOM I NOW CALL SERENITY.
IOAA2 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to IOAA2 For This Useful Post:
Admiral (09-01-2013)
Old 09-01-2013, 01:18 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Admiral's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 301
Quote:
Originally Posted by lorelei View Post
I don't have anything to say that can help but wanted to send a hug x
Thanks, part of the problem is that I have some OCD stuff going on, and when I come off a binge, the symptoms can flare up and get worse for a time. One of those symptoms is the belief that inanimate objects have feelings. I can get attached to these pieces, especially if they were expensive, I feel like I'm abandoning them as if I were abandoning a child. I know it's completely irrational and bizarre, but this is the nature of OCD.

The w/d symptoms are really a walk in the park with pot, but as expected, my anxiety and obsessive thoughts are probably going to be a little worse for a few days.
Admiral is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 01:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
foolsgold66's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,788
This may sound a little weird, but if you could somehow break it or seal it so it can't be used and write your sobriety date on it you could use it as a 'totem' of sorts to symbolize your change.

Really you should just get rid of it I think, but these are your choices, not mine, and the idea occurred to me so I thought I would share it.

Be well.
foolsgold66 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 01:28 PM   #6 (permalink)
Guest
 

Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,242
I feel your pain, the whole anxiety, eepression, alcohol thing is completely irrational, if you know this period will pass can you keep chatting with us till it does.. x
lorelei is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 01:34 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Admiral's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 301
It's in the trash, garbage day is still 2 days away, in the past I've actually fished this kind of stuff out, so hopefully I can let it go. I have a 5 hour shift at work now, so I'll be back later.
Admiral is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 01:37 PM   #8 (permalink)
Guest
 

Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,242
Good luck x
lorelei is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 02:00 PM   #9 (permalink)
Moderator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Strailya
Posts: 113,642
Blog Entries: 1
welcome back

I've been following you for a while Admiral so I'm sorry to read you went back to the dark side.

I'm glad you reconfirmed for yourself that there's nothing there tho.

have you got a new plan?

D
__________________

Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:28 AM.


Design By: SoberRecovery.com