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|09-01-2013, 12:52 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2012
I'm back again, I've been high for pretty much seven days now. Starting in the afternoon, and then on and off all the way up until bed time. I'm tired of operating at 70% all the time. I'm not as effective at work, my progress towards controlling my anger went out the window, and I'm just not as capable and alert, which is getting old.
The big hurdle is that I bought a vaporizer and don't know what to do with it. It's a really small model about the size of a pill bottle, it cost 80 dollars which is kind of a lot. In the past I've thrown out all my pipes, but this thing was so expensive, I don't really want to keep it around but that price is just hovering over my head when I think about tossing it, what a waste, what an irresponsible purchase. What was I thinking? Surely I knew this day would come, how could I have let such a short sighted and impulsive purchase slip past my reasoning? The stash is all gone, that was easy to flush, but I just can't get rid of this thing. I've been here long enough to know that people will say sobriety is more important than 80 dollars, but the guilt over it is pretty heavy and I could use some help in dealing with that.
|09-01-2013, 01:15 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2013
Admiral. Thanks for my remember when in my quitting drinking days I went and purchased a set of fine rather expensive drinking glasses. It's interesting because I'm trying to stop and going to AA and comparing hair brained things others had experienced and thought I'm not that bad! I know it varies but it showed me that brain and reasoning damage had occurred with all my drinking one day at a time. It doesn't have to happen any more if we don't pick up that first drink/drug. BE WELL
AA IS NOT A SENTENCE, ITíS A REPRIEVE.
ALCOHOL-ISM= INCREDIBLE SHORT MEMORY.
I CAME FOR MY DRINKING AND STAYED FOR MY THINKING.
WE ARE NOT FAILING AS LONG AS WE KEEP TRYING.
WHAT I USED TO CALL BOREDOM I NOW CALL SERENITY.
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|09-01-2013, 01:18 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2012
The w/d symptoms are really a walk in the park with pot, but as expected, my anxiety and obsessive thoughts are probably going to be a little worse for a few days.
|09-01-2013, 01:22 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: South Central US
This may sound a little weird, but if you could somehow break it or seal it so it can't be used and write your sobriety date on it you could use it as a 'totem' of sorts to symbolize your change.
Really you should just get rid of it I think, but these are your choices, not mine, and the idea occurred to me so I thought I would share it.
|09-01-2013, 02:00 PM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2007
Blog Entries: 1
I've been following you for a while Admiral so I'm sorry to read you went back to the dark side.
I'm glad you reconfirmed for yourself that there's nothing there tho.
have you got a new plan?
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