Hi feelstuck - welcome
I've known a few members who are nurses here who've been in your situation - I hope you'll hear from some of them here.
I know it's difficult to think about getting help and 'going public' as a healthcare professional - speaking with your Dr/going to NA etc...but I hope you'll consider it.
Sometimes to get out of a hole, I think we need some outside help.
We can't give you medical advice here or answer any medical questions, I'm afraid. It's against our rules.
We can share our experience tho and I'm pleased to see people have been doing that in some of your other threads.