Books on Recovery, Spirituality & Codependence
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Drunk Mom by Jowita Bydlowska
I'm going to do a mini book review because I am so disgusted by this book. I hope others will read it and add their opinions.
Ms. Bydlowska is a professional, thirty-something single woman who is about 3 or so yrs into recovery when she gives birth to a son. She begins drinking immediately after her son's birth, and continues drinking until beyond the first birthday of her son.
I do not judge her for drinking while caring for an infant. What I judge her for, is for writing this book. I do NOT think she should never talk to her child about the first year. At some point that could be appropriate. In my opinion, she should involve minimal details. However, in this self-serving book, I believe that she is replacing her addiction to alcohol with her addiction to portraying herself as the drunk, sexy mom, constantly seeking attention. There is no insight in her book. It is truly cringe-worthy. What could possibly be gained by putting all the drunken, dangerous, immoral behaviour out there for her family and later for her son to read? Unbelievable.
I'm going to do a mini book review because I am so disgusted by this book. I hope others will read it and add their opinions.
Ms. Bydlowska is a professional, thirty-something single woman who is about 3 or so yrs into recovery when she gives birth to a son. She begins drinking immediately after her son's birth, and continues drinking until beyond the first birthday of her son.
I do not judge her for drinking while caring for an infant. What I judge her for, is for writing this book. I do NOT think she should never talk to her child about the first year. At some point that could be appropriate. In my opinion, she should involve minimal details. However, in this self-serving book, I believe that she is replacing her addiction to alcohol with her addiction to portraying herself as the drunk, sexy mom, constantly seeking attention. There is no insight in her book. It is truly cringe-worthy. What could possibly be gained by putting all the drunken, dangerous, immoral behaviour out there for her family and later for her son to read? Unbelievable.
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
I feel throughout my life I have been led to different authors, and at the perfect times. Each one of the authors listed below I got really into for a while. And each seemed to have built upon the next.
Leo Buscaglia (pre sobriety)
Norman Vincent Peale (when I just got sober)
Hugh Prather (a few years down the sober line)
Maryanne Williamson (at about 6 years sober, also went to a lot of her lectures in NY before she became Oprah famous
)
Wayne Dyer (been kind of a mainstay throughout. Really liked There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem)
And I went through A Course in Miracles. Did the years worth of meditation/exercises (in about 13 months), read about 75% of the text and teacher's guide. To be completely honest, that book messed me up... Left me questioning a lot, and put me in a really empty place. I think in hindsight it was place I needed to visit and grow from, but I'm still, 7 years after going through the book, a bit unsure about what that entire experience was all about. Or what I learned from it. If anything, it left me questioning EVERYTHING, which again, may have been a place I needed to go.
Would love to know people's experience with it here, and may start a thread regarding it later. Dinner with the family today.
Oops... almost forgot The Four Agreements, which is super simple non spiritual wisdom that I think the whole world should familiarize themselves with. Read all the books available on that, but could have saved lots of money as there's nothing said in any of the others that isn't already covered in the first short book.
Leo Buscaglia (pre sobriety)
Norman Vincent Peale (when I just got sober)
Hugh Prather (a few years down the sober line)
Maryanne Williamson (at about 6 years sober, also went to a lot of her lectures in NY before she became Oprah famous
)Wayne Dyer (been kind of a mainstay throughout. Really liked There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem)
And I went through A Course in Miracles. Did the years worth of meditation/exercises (in about 13 months), read about 75% of the text and teacher's guide. To be completely honest, that book messed me up... Left me questioning a lot, and put me in a really empty place. I think in hindsight it was place I needed to visit and grow from, but I'm still, 7 years after going through the book, a bit unsure about what that entire experience was all about. Or what I learned from it. If anything, it left me questioning EVERYTHING, which again, may have been a place I needed to go.
Would love to know people's experience with it here, and may start a thread regarding it later. Dinner with the family today.
Oops... almost forgot The Four Agreements, which is super simple non spiritual wisdom that I think the whole world should familiarize themselves with. Read all the books available on that, but could have saved lots of money as there's nothing said in any of the others that isn't already covered in the first short book.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Staying Sober: A Guide For Relapse Prevention by Terence Gorski
Under The Influence by Milam
Seven Weeks To Sobriety by Joan Matthews Larson
It Will Never Happen To Me by Claudia Black
ACA/ACOA WSO Handbook
Under The Influence by Milam
Seven Weeks To Sobriety by Joan Matthews Larson
It Will Never Happen To Me by Claudia Black
ACA/ACOA WSO Handbook
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Cleaning up by Tania Glyde. One for the Brits I think. This is a kinda odd occasionally ranty book but has some good practical advice in it.
Dharma Punx by Noah Levine. I think this is the first personal experience I have read which focuses more on recovery than the drunkalogue. Good stuff.
Dharma Punx by Noah Levine. I think this is the first personal experience I have read which focuses more on recovery than the drunkalogue. Good stuff.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Clayton NJ
Posts: 4
Things I Learned in Rehab
"Things I Learned in Rehab" is a good short story that I read by Stacy Brandt. It's only available on amazon for e-readers. She's only gotten three reviews on it so far, but they're all five stars! I'd definitely suggest it. It's funny, which is a nice break from all the seriousness. It does end on a serious note, though. She did really well with it, I think. You can find it in an amazon search.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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book --- Oswald Chambers Quotes
Oswald Chambers Quotes
Oswald Chambers
1874-1917
Oswald Chambers was born July 24, 1874, in Aberdeen, Scotland. Converted in his teen years under the ministry of Charles Haddon Spurgeon, he studied art and archaeology at the University of Edinburgh before answering a call from God to the Christian ministry. He then studied theology at Dunoon College. From 1906-1910 he conducted an itinerant Bible-teaching ministry in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Japan.
In 1910, Chambers married Gertrude Hobbs. They had one daughter, Kathleen.
In 1911 he founded and became principal of the Bible Training College in Clapham, London, where he lectured until the school was closed in 1915 because of World War I. In October 1915 he sailed for Zeitoun, Egypt (near Cairo), where he ministered to troops from Australia and New Zealand as a YMCA chaplain. He died there November 15, 1917, following surgery for a ruptured appendix.
Although Oswald Chambers wrote only one book, Baffled to Fight Better, more than thirty titles bear his name. With this one exception, published works were compiled by Mrs. Chambers, a court stenographer, from her verbatim shorthand notes of his messages taken during their seven years of marriage. For half a century following her husband's death she labored to give his words to the world.
My Utmost For His Highest, his best-known book, has been continuously in print in the United States since 1935 and remains in the top ten titles of the religious book bestseller list with millions of copies in print. It has become a Christian classic.
OSWALD CHAMBERS QUOTES
Churchianity is an organization; Christianity is an organism.
One of the last things we learn is that God engineers our circumstances.
Never look for second causes; if you do you will go wrong.
No matter how complicated the circumstances may be, one moment of contact with Jesus and all the fuss and panic and emptiness is gone and His peace and tranquillity are put in. He says "All power is given unto me."
Conceit means to have a pont of view; a point of view takes the wonder out of life.
There are a great many things that are quite legitimate, but if they are not on our way to Jerusalem, we do not do them.
The one thing Satan tries to shake is our confidence in God.
If obedience costs you your life, then pay it.
Everything the devil does, God overreaches to serve His own purposes.
The duty of every Christian, and it is the last lesson we learn, is to make room for God to deal with other people direct; we will try and limit others and make them into our mold.
Heaven itself is waiting for the manifestation of the sons of God.
The Cross of Christ is God’s last and endless word.
The Cross is the crystallized point in history where Eternity merges with Time.
When we pray, it is not our agony and our distress, but our childlike confidence in God.
If we make devotional habits the source from which we draw our life, God will put us through the discipline of upsetting these times.
Being a disciple is to be something that is an infinite satisfaction to Jesus every minute, whether in secret or in public.
Then you lose the nightmare of your own separate individuality and become part of the Personality of Christ.
Our Lord’s conception of discipleship is not that we work for God, but that God works through us; He uses us as He likes; He allots our work where He chooses, and we learn obedience as our Master did.
The whole of the Christian life is stamped by originality.
We have become so taken up with the idea of being prepared for something in the future that that is the conception we have of discipleship. It is true, but it is also untrue. The attitude of the Christian life is that we must be prepared now, this second; this is the time.
We are all based on a conception of importance, either our own importance or the importance of someone else; Jesus tells us to go and teach based on the revelation of His importance. "All power is given unto me - - - ‘Go ye therefore. - - -‘
There are many things that are perfectly legitimate, but if you are going to concentrate on God you cannot do them. Your right hand is one of the best things you have, but Jesus says if it hinders you in following His precepts, cut it off. This line of discipline is the sternest one that ever struck mankind.
The one thing for which we are all being disciplined is to know that God is real. As soon as God becomes real, other people become shadows. Nothing that other saints do or say can ever perturb the one who is built on the real God.
What counts in a man’s life is the disposition that rules him.
Oswald Chambers
1874-1917
Oswald Chambers was born July 24, 1874, in Aberdeen, Scotland. Converted in his teen years under the ministry of Charles Haddon Spurgeon, he studied art and archaeology at the University of Edinburgh before answering a call from God to the Christian ministry. He then studied theology at Dunoon College. From 1906-1910 he conducted an itinerant Bible-teaching ministry in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Japan.
In 1910, Chambers married Gertrude Hobbs. They had one daughter, Kathleen.
In 1911 he founded and became principal of the Bible Training College in Clapham, London, where he lectured until the school was closed in 1915 because of World War I. In October 1915 he sailed for Zeitoun, Egypt (near Cairo), where he ministered to troops from Australia and New Zealand as a YMCA chaplain. He died there November 15, 1917, following surgery for a ruptured appendix.
Although Oswald Chambers wrote only one book, Baffled to Fight Better, more than thirty titles bear his name. With this one exception, published works were compiled by Mrs. Chambers, a court stenographer, from her verbatim shorthand notes of his messages taken during their seven years of marriage. For half a century following her husband's death she labored to give his words to the world.
My Utmost For His Highest, his best-known book, has been continuously in print in the United States since 1935 and remains in the top ten titles of the religious book bestseller list with millions of copies in print. It has become a Christian classic.
OSWALD CHAMBERS QUOTES
Churchianity is an organization; Christianity is an organism.
One of the last things we learn is that God engineers our circumstances.
Never look for second causes; if you do you will go wrong.
No matter how complicated the circumstances may be, one moment of contact with Jesus and all the fuss and panic and emptiness is gone and His peace and tranquillity are put in. He says "All power is given unto me."
Conceit means to have a pont of view; a point of view takes the wonder out of life.
There are a great many things that are quite legitimate, but if they are not on our way to Jerusalem, we do not do them.
The one thing Satan tries to shake is our confidence in God.
If obedience costs you your life, then pay it.
Everything the devil does, God overreaches to serve His own purposes.
The duty of every Christian, and it is the last lesson we learn, is to make room for God to deal with other people direct; we will try and limit others and make them into our mold.
Heaven itself is waiting for the manifestation of the sons of God.
The Cross of Christ is God’s last and endless word.
The Cross is the crystallized point in history where Eternity merges with Time.
When we pray, it is not our agony and our distress, but our childlike confidence in God.
If we make devotional habits the source from which we draw our life, God will put us through the discipline of upsetting these times.
Being a disciple is to be something that is an infinite satisfaction to Jesus every minute, whether in secret or in public.
Then you lose the nightmare of your own separate individuality and become part of the Personality of Christ.
Our Lord’s conception of discipleship is not that we work for God, but that God works through us; He uses us as He likes; He allots our work where He chooses, and we learn obedience as our Master did.
The whole of the Christian life is stamped by originality.
We have become so taken up with the idea of being prepared for something in the future that that is the conception we have of discipleship. It is true, but it is also untrue. The attitude of the Christian life is that we must be prepared now, this second; this is the time.
We are all based on a conception of importance, either our own importance or the importance of someone else; Jesus tells us to go and teach based on the revelation of His importance. "All power is given unto me - - - ‘Go ye therefore. - - -‘
There are many things that are perfectly legitimate, but if you are going to concentrate on God you cannot do them. Your right hand is one of the best things you have, but Jesus says if it hinders you in following His precepts, cut it off. This line of discipline is the sternest one that ever struck mankind.
The one thing for which we are all being disciplined is to know that God is real. As soon as God becomes real, other people become shadows. Nothing that other saints do or say can ever perturb the one who is built on the real God.
What counts in a man’s life is the disposition that rules him.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 23
more books--long list
Thanks for the list.
There is also a site that is called paperbackswap Trade Used Books for Free with PaperBack Swap (the world's largest book swap)[/url] which I joined last night. It is completely free. You list the books you are interested in and you receive a message if someone has it. They pay postage. You receive 2 credits to receive 2 books. You need to post books that you wanted to swap and if someone requests it, you send and pay postage and receive a credit for a future book.
There are books on every subject.
You can also swap Kindle ebooks via email
My book list
Smashed koren zalickas (watched the movie last night)
Fury "
Mother Mother
Parched
sober for good
unwasted
What did I do last night?
Guts
Lit
Drink Up
Nice Girls Don't Drink
Dry
Getting Unstuck
Diary of An Alcoholic Housewife
Moments of Clarity
Cleaning Up
Alcohol lied to me
Mommy doesn't drink here anymore
Mother ruin
Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck *loved this one
Best Kept Secret by Amy Hatvany
Beyond Denial by Patrick Caffrey
Cleaning Up : How I Gave Up Drinking and Lived by
Everything I Never Wanted to Be by Dina Kucera *such a dysfunctional mess written by a great commedian! one of my favorites
The Heart of Addiciton by Lance Dodes
Memoirs Aren't Fairytales by Marni Mann. OH! this is a heartbreaking story about someone in the depths of addiction... interesting ending
Turnabout.... reading it for second time.... really like it
Goodbye Hangovers, hello life
My Lush Sobriety
Rachel's holiday
Saturation
Million Little Pieces
Out of the Rough
There is also a site that is called paperbackswap Trade Used Books for Free with PaperBack Swap (the world's largest book swap)[/url] which I joined last night. It is completely free. You list the books you are interested in and you receive a message if someone has it. They pay postage. You receive 2 credits to receive 2 books. You need to post books that you wanted to swap and if someone requests it, you send and pay postage and receive a credit for a future book.
There are books on every subject.
You can also swap Kindle ebooks via email
My book list
Smashed koren zalickas (watched the movie last night)
Fury "
Mother Mother
Parched
sober for good
unwasted
What did I do last night?
Guts
Lit
Drink Up
Nice Girls Don't Drink
Dry
Getting Unstuck
Diary of An Alcoholic Housewife
Moments of Clarity
Cleaning Up
Alcohol lied to me
Mommy doesn't drink here anymore
Mother ruin
Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck *loved this one
Best Kept Secret by Amy Hatvany
Beyond Denial by Patrick Caffrey
Cleaning Up : How I Gave Up Drinking and Lived by
Everything I Never Wanted to Be by Dina Kucera *such a dysfunctional mess written by a great commedian! one of my favorites
The Heart of Addiciton by Lance Dodes
Memoirs Aren't Fairytales by Marni Mann. OH! this is a heartbreaking story about someone in the depths of addiction... interesting ending
Turnabout.... reading it for second time.... really like it
Goodbye Hangovers, hello life
My Lush Sobriety
Rachel's holiday
Saturation
Million Little Pieces
Out of the Rough
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Concord, CA
Posts: 28
Spirituality of Imperfection. Yes!
Originally Posted by awuh1 
This is the best one I have found.
The Spirituality of Imperfection: Storytelling and the Search for Meaning
By Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham
The Spirituality of Imperfection: Storytelling and the Search for Meaning
By Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham
The Spirituality of Imperfection is a type of spirituality that is not focused on the ideal of Perfection, but on the ideal of being broken and wounded human beings. According to Kurtz, this spirituality has been evident throughout the entire history of humankind --- but it's most recent manifestation happened in 1935 in Akron, Ohio when one drunk, who was six months sober, reached out to help another drunk who simply couldn't stop drinking. He reached out not to lecture or cajole, but to be helpful to another suffering alcoholic.
I've read this book so much that when I pick it up to read again, while I'm rubbing my wife's feet at night (as I have done pretty much every night since I got sober 11+ years ago), I hear a non-silent groan from behind me. ;-)
Take care!
Mike L.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by GratitudeDude
Kurtz is one of my favorite recovery authors (he also wrote one of the best histories of AA called "Not God: A History of AA" which is premised on the idea that the central theme in AA throughout it's history is not that there is a God, but that I am/We are not it!
The Spirituality of Imperfection is a type of spirituality that is not focused on the ideal of Perfection, but on the ideal of being broken and wounded human beings. According to Kurtz, this spirituality has been evident throughout the entire history of humankind --- but it's most recent manifestation happened in 1935 in Akron, Ohio when one drunk, who was six months sober, reached out to help another drunk who simply couldn't stop drinking. He reached out not to lecture or cajole, but to be helpful to another suffering alcoholic.
I've read this book so much that when I pick it up to read again, while I'm rubbing my wife's feet at night (as I have done pretty much every night since I got sober 11+ years ago), I hear a non-silent groan from behind me. ;-)
Take care!
Mike L.
The Spirituality of Imperfection is a type of spirituality that is not focused on the ideal of Perfection, but on the ideal of being broken and wounded human beings. According to Kurtz, this spirituality has been evident throughout the entire history of humankind --- but it's most recent manifestation happened in 1935 in Akron, Ohio when one drunk, who was six months sober, reached out to help another drunk who simply couldn't stop drinking. He reached out not to lecture or cajole, but to be helpful to another suffering alcoholic.
I've read this book so much that when I pick it up to read again, while I'm rubbing my wife's feet at night (as I have done pretty much every night since I got sober 11+ years ago), I hear a non-silent groan from behind me. ;-)
Take care!
Mike L.
I'm reading Not God and it's really good! I picked it over all the other AA history books to start with, thought he'd have a good perspective, and it seems like it's written more from an academic standpoint.
I've got The Spirituality of Imperfection on my Amazon wishlist... will be reading it next. Can't wait!
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
I would like to recommend "From Science to God" by Peter Russell. It's a very different take on spirituality. Those with a background in the physical sciences might particularly enjoy it. I found the chapter entitled "The mystery of light", particularly fascinating. He adds rich detail to some of the same ideas I have long wondered about (I do not have a degree in the physical sciences). I found it fascinating.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Concord, CA
Posts: 28
Another book, especially those looking for a very meaningful and diverse way of the steps, is "The Dark Night of Recovery" by Edward Bear (a pseudonym: anyone know who the real Edward Bear was/is?). A guy who has already done the steps and all the other "requirements" hits a real and dark bottom, when he's been sober for five years. Goes up to an old timer that he respects and fears at the same time and asks him to take him thru the steps. The sponsor tell him yes and them tells him to go get the Big Book, the 12x12, the I Ching, The House on Pooh Corner by A.A. Milne, The Emperor Strikes Back and any collection he can find of poems by the Sufi mystic Rumi. And a tape recorder. (why? "Because some day someone's going to ask you how to do this and you'll want to remember everything we talk about!").
It's a great read....I really relate to the sponsee who is a lawyer and equally challenged with the handicap of a Big Brain.
FYI: I stopped reading this while rubbing my wife's feet -- ever since she snuck a peek and saw me reading about the 9th step and asked, "When are you going to do your ninth step with me?" Great question. I quickly recovered and looked at her foot, which along with making the bed every morning since getting sober, and continued rubbing it... "Well Nan, I will be doing my 9th step with you the rest of my life. Hand me more lotion please..."
Whew, they was close!
Mike L.
It's a great read....I really relate to the sponsee who is a lawyer and equally challenged with the handicap of a Big Brain.
FYI: I stopped reading this while rubbing my wife's feet -- ever since she snuck a peek and saw me reading about the 9th step and asked, "When are you going to do your ninth step with me?" Great question. I quickly recovered and looked at her foot, which along with making the bed every morning since getting sober, and continued rubbing it... "Well Nan, I will be doing my 9th step with you the rest of my life. Hand me more lotion please..."
Whew, they was close!
Mike L.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Concord, CA
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by awuh1
I would like to recommend "From Science to God" by Peter Russell. It's a very different take on spirituality. Those with a background in the physical sciences might particularly enjoy it. I found the chapter entitled "The mystery of light", particularly fascinating. He adds rich detail to some of the same ideas I have long wondered about (I do not have a degree in the physical sciences). I found it fascinating.
Sometimes, we mistakenly think that atheists (not saying that Einstein was one...) are people who don't believe in God. I think it's more accurate to say that an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in certain definitions of God. I personally find myself agreeing with every atheist I've talked to for any length of time and walk away knowing that I don't believe in "that" God either!
Mike L.
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