ToABetterMe

Ok, I've been very honest about my struggles here. And Yesterday I faced another challenge, I had another court hearing. And as part of that I had to do a DIA at the court house. This is where you meet with people & you get an alcohol assessment. You have to answer alot of questions & they talk to you. And from there they present their findings to the judge, with their recomendations for sentencing, treatment, jail time, etc.

Well in my DIA I am happy to say I was able to look her in the eye & say that I found a wonderful online support system, That I feel very accountable for checking in & admitting my triggers, struggles, and being sober. I even told her I have made a sober buddy that I check in with regularly.

I told her I really feel the need to live a sober life & be a good example for my daughter that will start driving this year (EEKK! That scares me!)

So not once, not twice, but several times during the DIA I was told

"You know you don't have to quit drinking"
"Bad things happen to good people, you just made a bad choice, don't beat yourself up about it"
"Don't feel like just because your on probation you can't drink at all, I'm not saying that all"
"Why do you think you need to quit drinking all together?"

The list goes on, but I felt like the more I told her I wanted to live sober, and I feel its best for me now, she would counter act with something To ok drinking & dismiss the fact of how I wanted to move forward.

She even said "I hope your not setting your self up to be dissapointed or depressed because there is nothing wrong with having a few drinks, just don't drive next time!

UUUUGGGHHH!! I'm glad I won't have to check in with her again. But I wonder how many people go to this DIA, and walk out & think - Oh well, I got a DUI, they just told me there is nothing wrong with drinking.

splendra

I can't imagine why they are using this approach with you. I hope you will remain sober none the less...

jowinbo

IMHO, that makes YOU alot smarter than they are!!!!

you know you have a problem, and YOU are doing something about it to get help!
they might think you have a problem, but if you come back again they will get more $$$$$$$$$$

forget them, YOU are doing the right thing
congrats to you!
luv jow: Val004:

Anna

I think that when you tell someone that you are not drinking, it can cause a defensive reaction in them. Maybe they have some of their own issues to deal with, who knows? Maybe if this person was to say, yes, you definitely need to stop drinking, she would have to question her own drinking issues, or those of her husband?

CAPTAINZING2000

Hmm

that might be the strangest thing i'll read all day.

ViciousCycle

I agree Anna, alot of people working in the system are recovering users. I know my DUI class was led by one and she was terrible.

You know in your heart what the deal is. No one else........keep on moving forward.......shake your head and walk away from that.

:ghug3

Taking5

Anna nailed it better than the hammer I use for my avatar.

CAPTAINZING2000

That or, she's totally clueless!!!!

sfgirl

Whoa, that is so frustrating. The one place you would think that you would be completely rewarded and supported in your choices. I can hardly believe that. I wonder if she takes a different line with different people, if it was a defensive reaction to you being so on track, weird....she should probably be in a different line of work.

Sara9009

Maybe off the wall here but she could have been using it to test you. See if you were just telling the court what they wanted to hear or were actually serious.

Very obnoxious, nonetheless.

mamabin

Isn't it strange when you look at the world with a different perspective? Good for you, I'm not so sure I would have done so well. I've had to deal with the court system through my divorce and because of my kids. I found the people who were supposed to counsel or mediate were completely clueless. It seemed that they had no education for their job. It was very frustrating.

doorknob

That's what I was thinkin' too...

lovinmenow

She just wanted to see if you would break down and agree with her. That person does this job all day everyday and probably hears a lot of crap from many people. It was a test to see if you were lying to her.

Aignad

My GP told me something similar when I went to her for a checkup and admitted my alcoholism. She asked me a bunch of questions about how much I drink and then said, "Oh, you're not an alcoholic." And basically rolled her eyes at me. It was so strange. My therapist was quite pissed since she told me to go get checked out by my GP to see if I had damaged myself physically from drinking. Amy

Fubarcdn

I am thinking along the lines of Sara and DK that it was a test. I would venture to guess that pretty much everyone they see says they are quitting drinking. So to get to the truth sometimes they have to throw out a little bait.
It is there to asses you and make a recommendation not to be your therapist.
You answered and responded honestly and correctly.
It is never good to assume things about other peoples motives.

Remember the old cliche line about when you AssUme?

SelfSeeking

My money is on her being a problem drinker herself. I work in medicine. Before facing up to my own alcoholism I was extraordinarily uncomfortable w/patients w/their own issues. If they were drunks, what was I? (Although I never told someone it was a bad idea to quit drinking, omg...)

ToABetterMe

Except the weird thing is she called my husband in & talked to him alone. She asked him if my drinking caused any problems. He answered honestly & said "have we fought while she was drinking, yes. Do I drink, yes." Then he said that I haven't drank in a couple of weeks that I seem to be seriously about wanting to change my life.

Her exact words to him were "theres nothing wrong with sitting around & having some drinks together, just don't let her drive"

Why would she ok it with him too?
She was in her mid-twenties at best. I felt a little weird because I am at least 10 yrs older than her, & she is justifying something that I have already come to terms with the fact that is not working in my lifestyle!

Wombat05

Good on ya! That seems to be the way to look at it. My drinking buddies will most likely say the same thing--but my drinking buddies aren't around when I'm sneaking beers so I can fall asleep.
Stay strong.

yeahgr8

Just another dumb ****, there are a lot of them around! You're on the right path. Part of my recovery process is to look at these sort of people with empathy and pity, don't doubt yourself for a second ever!

Philly

It seems to me she has a one track mind and that is to make sure you don't drink and drive again. Thank goodness you know more than she does. She really didn't pay attention much in school. I never received a DUI but was in a voluntary out patient and inpatient rehab and never heard anyone say it was ok to have even one drink.