Anonn1

Took me a long time to admit that my Sister had a problem Two Years ago I finally admitted it here. Once she realized that I wasn't going to fall for her Crap she stopped asking me for money and any Favors.

She was actually doing well until she met this Man that looked like a complete Thug to me he had Tats all over his Body except for his Face.She introduced him to me and asked what I thought so I asked him point blank had he been to Prison he said yes and I walked away.Before long they moved in together and I would later find out that he's an Addict drug of choice ...Crack Cocaine.I told her that was a very bad combination she's an Addict herself her drug of choice Pain Pills as long as it's Narcotic she will take it.

Soon after they moved in she begin to enable him and make excuses for his Crack use and he often stayed out overnight and she often took him to Buy it.He would help her run through her Money as if she had no Bills to pay,I cut her off because shortly after I discovered that she had been taking pills again.She just got worse and he brought out the worse in her I told both her and him they look like Crap!He begin to steal to support his habit as well as hers well he did it one to many times and got caught and was charged with Robbery due to the amount he stole.He's been in jail since then and magically his Wife has now shown back up.To me it seems my Sisters Days are spent Laying in Bed complaining everything hurts her.I don't know if she tried Crack or if she's on it but I do know she never has Money and almost every other Day she is asking for money.I refuse to give her A Dime every time she asks I don't have it so she goes down to a lower amount I knew she was addicted to pills but now my fear is she's on Crack.

I'm at a Loss because I have no idea what to do next please HELP!!!

PlasticInsanity

I'm sorry to hear about this - my sister is deep in addiction as well, and it can be a struggle to watch. I want to pull her out of it (she's with a "bum" as well, lol) but in order for her to get better, she needs to help herself. This means I need to let her hit bottom so she'll be desperate, and willing to do the work she needs to do.

First, you need to tell your sister you won't give her money. None. Zip. If you're worried she's not eating, you can buy her a hot meal. Second, ask your sister if she's considered attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings. If she doesn't have access online you can find the closest meeting and give her the information, but that's it. After you've "planted the seed", let her do the rest of the work. Third, and this is probably the most important, you need to detach with love. Take care of yourself.

I'm a recovering addict, with a sister in active addiction, so if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me. I wish you the best!

kristin94

This is very sad. I'm sorry. I have just discovered my sister as well is In early stages of an addict. She constantly is hanging around this shady guy who is also a pedophile. They both are using meth. We were living together recently and she suddenly didn't have rent causing us both to have to move. She's not the same person anymore.
We used to be so close. It started with her never coming home and just leaving her dog locked in a crate. Its taken some time for me to convince my parents of the severity of this situation and some serious snooping to discover what I know. It's the worst situation I've ever been in and I can't help her. She just tells me I'm crazy and shuts me out. I'm really sorry you're going through this

PuzzledHeart

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My sister is with somebody who is addicted to pot and he's really dragged her down. I feel so stupid for not listening to my friends who had warned me about him because I really wanted to give him a chance. I also pitied my sister at the time because she was going through a divorce even though it was her relationship with her boyfriend that put the final nail on the coffin.

She won't talk to me now because she knows I won't give her money. I refuse to take on her blameshifting and her anger. I can't and won't cheerlead her on for every little thing she does because I've come to realize that she has to be responsible for generating her own self-respect. All the praise in the world doesn't mean squat if you can't internalize it.

My mom and dad really want her and me to get along and to help her out when they both die, but I've said to both of them that I just plain can't. I'll help out her daughters, but if she needs help with food/shelter/whatever she needs to learn that she can't brag about being "happy without money" and then ask for a handout in the same breath.

I miss my sister the way she once was before she got lost in pot. She still shows some of her generous old self to other people, but I suspect it's because she wants something out of them. My husband and I do our best to make sure that her daughters are OK (we get along with her ex-husband), and I think for me right now that's the best way to show my love for her.

Did you ever see "A Star is Born" with Judy Garland? Her co-star James Mason gave her eulogy after she died after she ODd.

" The little girl whom I knew, who had a little curl in the middle of her forehead, when she was good she was not only very, very good, she was the most sympathetic, the funniest, the sharpest and the most stimulating woman I ever knew. She was a lady who gave so much and richly, both to her vast audience who she entertained and to the friends around her whom she loved, that there was no currency in which to repay her. And she needed to be repaid, she needed devotion and love beyond the resources of any of us."

That's what I think about my sister now.