Struggling to identify Higher Power
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: The South
Posts: 398
Struggling to identify Higher Power
I am struggling with spirituality and the higher power concept. I'm pretty active in NA, but I'm working the fifth step and my sponsor says now is the time to connect with my hp on a deeper level.
I'm into finding spirituality in things, and feel lots of gratitude. I acknowledge that I'm powerless over many things and that there are a lot of powers greater than myself-nature, the universe, the ocean, the Way. But these powers are pretty neutral about me and my life and family. I don't believe there is something out there that loves me unconditionally or will remove my defects of character. This is making it very difficult for me to progress through the steps.
I'm into finding spirituality in things, and feel lots of gratitude. I acknowledge that I'm powerless over many things and that there are a lot of powers greater than myself-nature, the universe, the ocean, the Way. But these powers are pretty neutral about me and my life and family. I don't believe there is something out there that loves me unconditionally or will remove my defects of character. This is making it very difficult for me to progress through the steps.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
I'm sorry this is a struggle for you. This is not something I can relate to. I have always believes in God and I know only He loves me unconditionally and can remove my defects. Someone will come along with some advice you can relate to. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
This is a really good blog post about one guy's journey through the Third Step, and his ability to define a HP for himself in a scientific way.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...96-step-3.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...96-step-3.html
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
For me it was a willingness to admit that I had made a pretty good mess of things and maybe I needed to be a little willing to let go of the reins a bit.
It's actually a huge relief.
Glad the blog post spoke to you. I liked it, it's well written and thoughtful.
It's actually a huge relief.
Glad the blog post spoke to you. I liked it, it's well written and thoughtful.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Aurora, IL
Posts: 103
I am on my fourth, but I have been reading this:
http://sfzc.org/sp_download/2010_buddhism_12steps.pdf
My spirituality is a work in progress as well, I do believe in a higher power or manifestation though. I am not a Christian (or a member of an organized religion, at least at this point) personally. I am trying not to even think to much on the fifth though.
http://sfzc.org/sp_download/2010_buddhism_12steps.pdf
My spirituality is a work in progress as well, I do believe in a higher power or manifestation though. I am not a Christian (or a member of an organized religion, at least at this point) personally. I am trying not to even think to much on the fifth though.
Evolving Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
Funny...I often have to share my understanding of the 2nd and 3rd Steps with sponsees and in meetings, and I prefer to keep it as simple as possible (for me...not so much for them...lol). And since it is in these two steps that we are introduced to the notion that there's is "something" at work in the NA program and in our meetings...whatever basic conclusions I've drawn from steps 1 & 2 are a valuable resource for me in later steps like 4 & 5.
In Step 2 I found that NA teaches me that this "Power" that can restore me to sanity can be called [1] the group, [2] the program, or [3] I can call it God. From the very start, the evidence shows that the group has been a power greater than myself and through their support and the sharing of experience, strength and hope, they've gone above and beyond when it comes to assisting my process of sanity restoration. The program (the 12 Steps) is easily seen as a power greater than me. First of all, if I could have conceived the 12 Steps (and all that they contain) I probably wouldn't have come to NA seeking help. And I certainly couldn't have helped countless other addicts find recovery. My concept of God is purely based on having a desire to believe that there is something greater than me. I cannot describe or define it other than it is loving, caring and greater than I.
As a person who doesn't follow any type of organized religion, I tend to view spirituality in ways that aren't connected to belief, religion or the supernatural. I see spirituality as a way of living as opposed to what is believed. Having the freedom to interpret spirituality as a way of thinking, feeling and living instead of a way of believing has opened the door to a greater appreciation and understanding of the recovery process. I now realize that many of the ideas and attitudes I lived by in the past were defective and at the root of my anxiety, stress, unhappiness and misdirected purpose.
In Step 2 I found that NA teaches me that this "Power" that can restore me to sanity can be called [1] the group, [2] the program, or [3] I can call it God. From the very start, the evidence shows that the group has been a power greater than myself and through their support and the sharing of experience, strength and hope, they've gone above and beyond when it comes to assisting my process of sanity restoration. The program (the 12 Steps) is easily seen as a power greater than me. First of all, if I could have conceived the 12 Steps (and all that they contain) I probably wouldn't have come to NA seeking help. And I certainly couldn't have helped countless other addicts find recovery. My concept of God is purely based on having a desire to believe that there is something greater than me. I cannot describe or define it other than it is loving, caring and greater than I.
As a person who doesn't follow any type of organized religion, I tend to view spirituality in ways that aren't connected to belief, religion or the supernatural. I see spirituality as a way of living as opposed to what is believed. Having the freedom to interpret spirituality as a way of thinking, feeling and living instead of a way of believing has opened the door to a greater appreciation and understanding of the recovery process. I now realize that many of the ideas and attitudes I lived by in the past were defective and at the root of my anxiety, stress, unhappiness and misdirected purpose.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: The South
Posts: 398
Thank you for your reply and insight. I agree that NA and my home group are powers greater than myself. This was probably the first concept of a higher power that I settled on in step 2. I think I am searching for something else, though. Something that is more personal or universal or limitless. Maybe I am just making excuses.
I really like this statement and I think I can relate. I try to live in gratitude and kindness, and to appreciate the moment.
Originally Posted by Gmoney 
I see spirituality as a way of living as opposed to what is believed. Having the freedom to interpret spirituality as a way of thinking, feeling and living instead of a way of believing has opened the door to a greater appreciation and understanding of the recovery process.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
For me, I used the concept of the connection between all things or the universe. I wouldn't call it a higher power, more of a broader or bigger power. Higher implies hierarchy, which does not fit with my sense of spirituality. I found it fairly easy to fit my sense of spirituality into NA, although I never got into steps 5-7. Other steps meant more to me.
The NA meetings near me might be less religious than the ones near you. There are people (with years of clean time) who openly talk about not believing in a HP in the meetings near me.
The NA meetings near me might be less religious than the ones near you. There are people (with years of clean time) who openly talk about not believing in a HP in the meetings near me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 249
Fatally, that quote you cite from gmoney about spirituality being a way of living rings truth. I think, in that, once it is realized what that's about, the searching isn't the focus. The searching then changes into realizing.
The higher power concept gets easily distorted. It's difficult to understand, in part, because of the associations with God and religion, and of course as addicts we like to be in control, or think we are.
I do think that every individual is responsible in full for their own decisions and choices. There is nothing outside of one's own self directing or protecting us. It's not necessary (or even a good idea in my opinion) to believe such a thing. We live in our actions and reactions. And that constitutes my understanding of a higher power. The recognition of simply doing the right thing for myself and others. It is a way of living. Or, at least, trying to.
The higher power concept gets easily distorted. It's difficult to understand, in part, because of the associations with God and religion, and of course as addicts we like to be in control, or think we are.
I do think that every individual is responsible in full for their own decisions and choices. There is nothing outside of one's own self directing or protecting us. It's not necessary (or even a good idea in my opinion) to believe such a thing. We live in our actions and reactions. And that constitutes my understanding of a higher power. The recognition of simply doing the right thing for myself and others. It is a way of living. Or, at least, trying to.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: The South
Posts: 398
Originally Posted by SJTChiSox
I am on my fourth, but I have been reading this:
http://sfzc.org/sp_download/2010_buddhism_12steps.pdf
My spirituality is a work in progress as well, I do believe in a higher power or manifestation though. I am not a Christian (or a member of an organized religion, at least at this point) personally. I am trying not to even think to much on the fifth though.
http://sfzc.org/sp_download/2010_buddhism_12steps.pdf
My spirituality is a work in progress as well, I do believe in a higher power or manifestation though. I am not a Christian (or a member of an organized religion, at least at this point) personally. I am trying not to even think to much on the fifth though.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: The South
Posts: 398
Originally Posted by oak
For me, I used the concept of the connection between all things or the universe. I wouldn't call it a higher power, more of a broader or bigger power. Higher implies hierarchy, which does not fit with my sense of spirituality. I found it fairly easy to fit my sense of spirituality into NA, although I never got into steps 5-7. Other steps meant more to me.
The NA meetings near me might be less religious than the ones near you. There are people (with years of clean time) who openly talk about not believing in a HP in the meetings near me.
The NA meetings near me might be less religious than the ones near you. There are people (with years of clean time) who openly talk about not believing in a HP in the meetings near me.
The quote in your signature is beautiful and spiritual. I like it very much.
I don't know if my meetings are religious or not. There is a lot of sharing about HP and sometimes God and Jesus are mentioned. I have never heard another addict openly talk about not believing in a HP in any meeting I have ever attended.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
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Posts: 398
Originally Posted by andisa
The searching then changes into realizing.
We live in our actions and reactions. And that constitutes my understanding of a higher power. The recognition of simply doing the right thing for myself and others. It is a way of living.
We live in our actions and reactions. And that constitutes my understanding of a higher power. The recognition of simply doing the right thing for myself and others. It is a way of living.
Wow it is great to hear from you!!!
Thank you for your reply. I really like this concept.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,707
when i did the steps i couldnt believe in a high power either, until it was pointed out to me why do i feel i needed to go to aa
well to get help with my drinking i replied
thats when i found a high power it was aa who i turned to for help and it was aa and the people in aa who provided me with that help and still do today. ( i can not do it without them )
no mystery about it for me the more i thought about it the more it made sence and fitted me like a glove
i dont go to aa to hear about a god as i would go to a church for that i go to aa for my drinking problem and i found out a whole lot more besides but that how i got my own higher power and the best thing for me was i didnt need to pray for it either
as for removing defects of character i have to work on those myself as there always there and i found this to be the case for all alcoholics, i thought the idea was to get down and pray for them to be removed but its not as they dont get removed we just learn over time how to keep them down
i was as confused over the steps when i did them as anyone and i felt a bit of a fraud around aa with all the god talk etc
but it doesnt matter as they believe what they want to and i believe what i do i know it works for me
i am one of the most active memebers of aa and give my heart and soul to service work and helping others
thats the change that has happend in my life over a period of years and its still on going the steps were just a start for me
good luck to you with what ever you find but please dont ever feel pressured into finding one just to fit in with the rest
well to get help with my drinking i replied
thats when i found a high power it was aa who i turned to for help and it was aa and the people in aa who provided me with that help and still do today. ( i can not do it without them )
no mystery about it for me the more i thought about it the more it made sence and fitted me like a glove
i dont go to aa to hear about a god as i would go to a church for that i go to aa for my drinking problem and i found out a whole lot more besides but that how i got my own higher power and the best thing for me was i didnt need to pray for it either
as for removing defects of character i have to work on those myself as there always there and i found this to be the case for all alcoholics, i thought the idea was to get down and pray for them to be removed but its not as they dont get removed we just learn over time how to keep them down
i was as confused over the steps when i did them as anyone and i felt a bit of a fraud around aa with all the god talk etc
but it doesnt matter as they believe what they want to and i believe what i do i know it works for me
i am one of the most active memebers of aa and give my heart and soul to service work and helping others
thats the change that has happend in my life over a period of years and its still on going the steps were just a start for me
good luck to you with what ever you find but please dont ever feel pressured into finding one just to fit in with the rest
Recovered
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
I have a higher power I call "not me". The Steps are a way for me to right size my ego and become a sober citizen. The point is that *I* had to quit playing "god" and become a grain of sand on an infinite beach, if you will.
To me, my recovery can be summed up as "just letting go on deeper and deeper levels". That is more than enough for a conception of a power greater than my ego(self). And more than enough for permanent sobriety, if I work it daily.
To me, my recovery can be summed up as "just letting go on deeper and deeper levels". That is more than enough for a conception of a power greater than my ego(self). And more than enough for permanent sobriety, if I work it daily.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: The South
Posts: 398
Originally Posted by desypete
when i did the steps i couldnt believe in a high power either, until it was pointed out to me why do i feel i needed to go to aa
well to get help with my drinking i replied
thats when i found a high power it was aa who i turned to for help and it was aa and the people in aa who provided me with that help and still do today. ( i can not do it without them )
no mystery about it for me the more i thought about it the more it made sence and fitted me like a glove
i dont go to aa to hear about a god as i would go to a church for that i go to aa for my drinking problem and i found out a whole lot more besides but that how i got my own higher power and the best thing for me was i didnt need to pray for it either
as for removing defects of character i have to work on those myself as there always there and i found this to be the case for all alcoholics, i thought the idea was to get down and pray for them to be removed but its not as they dont get removed we just learn over time how to keep them down
i was as confused over the steps when i did them as anyone and i felt a bit of a fraud around aa with all the god talk etc
but it doesnt matter as they believe what they want to and i believe what i do i know it works for me
i am one of the most active memebers of aa and give my heart and soul to service work and helping others
thats the change that has happend in my life over a period of years and its still on going the steps were just a start for me
good luck to you with what ever you find but please dont ever feel pressured into finding one just to fit in with the rest
well to get help with my drinking i replied
thats when i found a high power it was aa who i turned to for help and it was aa and the people in aa who provided me with that help and still do today. ( i can not do it without them )
no mystery about it for me the more i thought about it the more it made sence and fitted me like a glove
i dont go to aa to hear about a god as i would go to a church for that i go to aa for my drinking problem and i found out a whole lot more besides but that how i got my own higher power and the best thing for me was i didnt need to pray for it either
as for removing defects of character i have to work on those myself as there always there and i found this to be the case for all alcoholics, i thought the idea was to get down and pray for them to be removed but its not as they dont get removed we just learn over time how to keep them down
i was as confused over the steps when i did them as anyone and i felt a bit of a fraud around aa with all the god talk etc
but it doesnt matter as they believe what they want to and i believe what i do i know it works for me
i am one of the most active memebers of aa and give my heart and soul to service work and helping others
thats the change that has happend in my life over a period of years and its still on going the steps were just a start for me
good luck to you with what ever you find but please dont ever feel pressured into finding one just to fit in with the rest
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: The South
Posts: 398
Originally Posted by mfanch
I have a higher power I call "not me". The Steps are a way for me to right size my ego and become a sober citizen. The point is that *I* had to quit playing "god" and become a grain of sand on an infinite beach, if you will.
To me, my recovery can be summed up as "just letting go on deeper and deeper levels". That is more than enough for a conception of a power greater than my ego(self). And more than enough for permanent sobriety, if I work it daily.
To me, my recovery can be summed up as "just letting go on deeper and deeper levels". That is more than enough for a conception of a power greater than my ego(self). And more than enough for permanent sobriety, if I work it daily.
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