MidnightBlue

THANK YOU, friends.

You are again with me another round of extremely tough time.

I understand that if I take on this battle there are about 3-6 months of gruesome war with banks ahead. But today I am taking a "mental day off" from these thoughts to regroup and get a fresh view later, and get ready to make my decision next week.

Dee74

yay

D

Astro

Oh right on!!!

MidnightBlue

Hi, friends.

I've been really in my "warrior spirit" the last few days, but today as if I've lost my ground and I feel so scared. Like I found myself in the middle of nowhere, so lost. My "usual' mind screams "What you are doing!!!!".

I understand that I can't live like this any more.

But I am so scared. I have to decide about signing the contract with debt-management agency this week, and I understand that once I do this and start all the procedures required, I will past the point of "no return". And it scares the hell out of me.

Thank you for listening.

Astro

I think there are times when we have to make some very uncomfortable leaps of faith. I just had a very disappointing setback at work, I now have to make a decision on how to proceed.

Thankfully, recovery provides us with the tools to make sound decisions, and we'll have people to support us no matter the outcome.

MidnightBlue

Thank you, Astro.

Sorry about your issues at work.

JD

I agree with Astro. Some times you just have to go for it. It's like jumping off the high dive at the pool. Scary as crap when you're standing there. But once you take that leap you survive it. Sometimes it's even fun afterwards.

MidnightBlue

Thank you, JD.

Yes, I totally agree with you. And I know this feeling - both scared to death before the jump and having fun after. And still scared to death.

And here we go again - can't bring myself make the call about appointment to start working with the agency. I plan it for tomorrow - and it's time to call.

Soberwolf

I know what you mean M x

Thinking of you x

MidnightBlue

Well, I've called and made an appointment for tomorrow.

I have this cold creepy feeling that "I have time till tomorrow to change my mind", as if something "miraculous" will happen that will solidify my decision or whatever.

I am still scared, of course.

JD

Of course you're scared. There is some unknown and it's not uncommon to be scared. But, I just wrote in another thread, thinking about it is much worse than doing it. You got this!

MidnightBlue

Hi, friends.

Just back from the agency, signed the deal. They are starting to process documents for the banks.

Point of no return is passed, but I feel less anxious today. From now my best strategy is to follow the lawyers' advice, work on my mental strength and take one day at a time.

Thank you for being here for me ,guys )

Soberwolf

You done amazing M I can imagine how stressful that was we are always here for you hun you done good getting that sorted xx

JD

That's great MB. Take care!

Bekindalways

Wow MB. Your "next right steps" seem huge. You are amazing in your courage.

Let us know how it goes.

Astro

I'm glad to hear you took that giant leap and I hope that in time the results of it will be beneficial to you.

MidnightBlue

Today is the first day when the hell is starting breaking loose -my first payment is overdue.

I am sitting in my bed and can't get myself out to face the day (I am on 2-weeks vacations and will be back to work on Monday), I am drinking tea and eating up cheese postponing start of actions with any BS excuse.

Later on I will beat myself up for procrastinating and so on. But now I am just scared.

Astro

This day will pass, MB, and I know you'll do the best you can. That's all that any of us can do. You have support, and you'll do the right thing based on your ability, nothing more. And that's good enough, right?

MidnightBlue

Thank you, Astro.

I've been to the lawyers and banks.

So, though I don't feel like super-productive, necessary baby steps are done.

Thank you all for support!

Soberpotamus

Well done, MB.

Now you can relax a little. The decision and the act are behind you now. Maybe this will relieve some of the burden.