Self Injury

[historyteach]

Self Injury research and Bill of Rights
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...orksheets.html (Self Injury; Research, Bill of Rights and Worksheets)

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Shalom!

[ClayTheScribe]

First you should congratulate yourself for coming here for help, regardless of whether you just self-injured or you feel you're about to. Know that you are not alone and there's millions of others who self-injure to escape their internal pain. Most people self-injure for the endorphin release because it helps calm down the loud and often unbearable noise and negative feelings in their head. But there are other non-self-harming ways to get that release. Here are some:

--Cognitive behavioral therapy studies have shown that if you can re-direct a thought or urge for 15 minutes, it is likely to pass. This involves identifying the negative thought or feeling that makes you want to self-injure; labeling it as a negative, hurtful thought or feeling; challenging the likely irrational thought that makes you want to hurt yourself (ie, I need to cut because I am a bad person and deserve it, or I need to burn myself because I am going to be alone forever) by telling yourself the truth (ie, I am a flawed, but good person who does not deserve to suffer pain at my own hand, or It's unlikely I am going to be alone forever as statistics show 98 percent of people find someone at least once in their lifetime); then re-affirming that truth as reality. A CBT therapist can better help take you through these steps.
-- Go to your freezer and grab a handful of ice or something else frozen. Squeeze it as hard as you can until the urge passes. This gives you a similar endorphin release without the scars.
--Go exercise. This could be on a treadmill, just jogging or walking briskly up and down the stairs or walking around your block. Do it for between 15-30 minutes, 30 minutes to get the full psychological benefits.
--Get a rubber band and put it around your wrist. Snap yourself every time you feel like harming yourself.
--Draw on yourself where you feel like hurting yourself with a marker or pen.
--Do deep breathing. Specifically, breathe in through the nose for 3 seconds, hold your breath for another 3 seconds, and breathe out through the mouth. Repeat. This will calm you down enough until the urge passes. When you become calm enough, try meditating. You can find several exercises here: http://www.meditationworkshop.org/meditation_exercises
--Allow yourself to cry if need be.
--Write or say a word over and over that best describes how they feel.
--Force yourself to do something you enjoy or that makes you happy. It could be doing something that makes you laugh and smile or upbeat music you enjoy. Do something comforting that nurtures yourself, even though the urges in your head will want you to do the opposite.
--If you're a cutter, use your tool for cutting and cut something else, say a block of wood. Often cutting is a way to release pent up aggression, in which case you could also punch a punching bag. If you're a burner, burn something expendable that holds no value to you or anyone else. Do this somewhere where water or dirt is near to put out the flame.
--Masturbate or have sex. You may not feel like it when you want to self-harm but this is a great way to get an even better endorphin rush.
--Eat something you enjoy. It's not necessarily healthy to replace self-harming with eating possibly bad foods, but it's not as bad as hurting yourself.
--You may cut, burn or otherwise self-injure because you're depressed and hate yourself and want to punish yourself. Think about what a friend or even stranger would say about your choice to punish yourself. They'd forgive you. Your family and friends don't want you to hurt yourself life that, think how that'd affect them. Be willing to forgive yourself at least just this once.
--A lot of self-injuring happens when a person is hungover, drunk or high on drugs. Get yourself into AA, NA, MA, LifeRing, SMARTRecovery or a similar recovery program if that's a problem for you. If you have a diagnosed mental illness as well as addiction you should look into Dual Diagnosis meetings in your area as this will address the illness and the addiction together. You may also need an antidepressant to adjust your chemicals which can help greatly.
--Call a friend or talk to a family member. Sometimes talking to a stranger may be best because of your fear (real or irrational) of how friends and family will react, so feel free to call 1-800-SUICIDE or write to The Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org. I know it's usually for suicidal people, but they can help with self-harm. Also do a Google search for other crisis lines in your area.
--Find yourself a good therapist, preferably one who uses cognitive behavioral therapy. If you're also an alcoholic or have a drinking problem, find someone who does dual diagnostic treatment.
--Before you self-injure, realize how it might affect your romantic relationships, that you won't be able to wear shorts or feel comfortable going swimming.
--Find out why you're self-injuring and try to deal with that problem, preferably with a therapist with whom you're comfortable.
--Mainly find activities that replace self-injuring that are equally enjoyable.

Regardless of whether or not your hurting yourself becomes worse, you really do need to see a therapist and be willing to open up to them because the self-injuring is just a symptom of a larger problem. Just realize you're not alone and this is nothing to be ashamed or guilty about and the therapist will not judge you. You may also need to go on some prescription medications, or just an antidepressant to cut down on those urges. I've heard Wellbutrin is effective in cutting down all sorts of urges, but check with a psychiatrist you trust.

Just remember cutting and self-injury is only a temporary fix with permanent scars. It will not solve your problems no matter how many times you cut (I learned that the hard way). Good luck.

Take care,

Clayton

[tony41]

yes self harm does give temporary relief, I often have to stop myself cutting by changing the way I deal with all the problems life throws at you plus all the rubbish I carry over past issues. The scars from past injury dont dissaper and it is often difficult relating to others just what is the cause. I basically take each day as it comes ,I get through that day then begin another some times hour by hour.

[Bamboozle]

Hello, tony. Welcome to SR!

Check out Newcomers and introduce yourself.

[LadyJoJo]

I just found out yesterday that I have herpes, I have had bi-polar since I was 16. Im so disgusted with myself, today I took a knife and cut my legs to try and make me feel better

[Earthworm]

So taking overdoses is part of self-injury?

earthworm

[pinkgurl87]

I have OD'd as part of self harm. I have done it many time, sometimes I was suicidal but a lot of times it was just self harm.

[lifeonerth]

To LadyJoJo- I have previously been diagnosed as bipolar as well and have used cutting before as well, mostly to stop the pain my alcoholic/addicted parent inflicted on me. I also have herpes. I got it from a man I was married to, whom I have since divorced for a wide number of reasons. I am now happily married to a wonderful, loving and supportive man who couldn't care less about the herpes or any other thing which I saw as "flaws" in myself. He is helping me heal emotionally in tremendous ways. Getting herpes was NOT your fault, in fact many if not most people who have HSV2 are not even aware that they have it. You can get it through oral sex or even kissing, just like a cold sore (typically HSV1); in fact, that is all that it is- just cold sores on a different part of your body. That is what my awesome OB-GYN said to me when I went in for diagnosis. She laughed it off as if it were nothing, and while I realize that it sure does not FEEL like nothing, especially when you first find out, things will get MUCH easier for you down the road, and maybe they already have. I myself take Valtrex on a daily basis to suppress outbreaks and prevent transmission of the virus to my husband or spreading to other parts of the body. The virus can shed even if you are not having an outbreak, and you would never know when or if this was occurring. I have had no negative side effects from taking the Valtrex, and it even helped my regular headaches.
When I divorced the man who gave me herpes, I had to face the daunting prospect of trying to date with an incurable STD. To my great and inexpressible relief, most of the men I dated when confronted with the situation reacted positively. Some of them sought out research to find out more about the disease and relative risks before agreeing to be sexually active with me, but after doing so, they all felt like it was really no big deal, and it really isn't. In fact, at LEAST one in FOUR people have HSV2; some researchers and clinicians, including my doctor, believe it is actually much higher than that due to the fact that most people don't know they have it. My then-husband had no idea. He had a habit of shaving himself "down there," which resulted in red bumps which he believed to be razor burn; I now know that some of it was probably herpes sores. The ONLY true way to know if someone is not infected is to take a specific HSV2 blood antibody test. Interestingly, doctors do not administer herpes tests even if you go in as a patient and request to be tested for ALL STDs because the medical community sees all types of Herpes viruses as being SO common as to not be worth testing for! If anyone is in a similar situation and needs someone to talk to who has been through this particular ringer, feel free to contact me. Anyone who reacts negatively to the fact that you have HSV2 or buys in to the social stigma is just ignorant of the facts and is NOT someone you want to have in your life anyway. Just think of it as an instant weeding-out tool. Take care and be well.

[pinkgurl87]

Sigh I just cut and burned myself with my cig because I was upset about an exam, sigh. I'm such a failure.

[ClayTheScribe]

Originally Posted by pinkgurl87

Sigh I just cut and burned myself with my cig because I was upset about an exam, sigh. I'm such a failure.

You're not a failure, you're exactly where you're supposed to be. So you hurt yourself to cope with your internal pain, I've been there, many of us have. Your immediate response is to chastize yourself for what you've done, to punish yourself. But that sets up your thinking to hurt yourself again and you're trying to avoid yourself. The best thing you can do now is to take care of yourself, do something nurturing for yourself. Every time you feel the urge to resolve your internal pain with self-destruction, do the opposite, do something nurturing for yourself. If you cut yourself, don't point your finger at yourself and say "Bad girl!" Instead say "It's OK, I slipped up and now it's in the past. In this moment I am going to nurture myself and cultivate self-love." As long as you do something to nurture yourself, you are not failing, you are succeeding. Failing is not getting back up and trying again, but you have shown you have the strength and courage to do so. I realize now that I would have made it through school much easier had I done this more often, had I set up more habits of self-nurturing.

Also, sometimes it helps for me to just be aware of my feelings when I feel bad and write them down or do something else creative.

[Dee74]

I'm sorry about your exam PinkGurl but one exam doesn't make you a failure

I was never much good at exams - I always got really nervous - the results never reflected my abilities.

I switched to assignment based classes as much as I could. Is that an option for you?

Hope you feel better soon
D

[ClayTheScribe]

pink, it took me six years to graduate college, having dropped out two semesters, getting incompletes, incompletes turning into Fs, getting Cs and Ds on exams and I graduated with a 2.88 GPA. Still, I managed to get a reporting job at The Denver Post where I still work today and am now considering getting my master's in journalism. In social work, I know things are a bit different, but people in general are a lot more impressed by the effort you put out in class and through internships than what you scored on an exam.

[courtneyy]

I know how it feels i dont cut deep but i have tried suicide so many times i just want my pain to go away i have an amazing boyfriend but i cant see the good everyone is hard on us because we are ten years apart i just dont know what to do i feel like throwing up or cutting

[courtneyy]

i was just wondering because i have an eating disorder and im not sure what to do about it.