12 years later
Ben's Papa
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Chesapeake,VA
Posts: 970
My depression has turned to despair. I hate to wake up in the morning. I look for work everyday but I think my age(59) is working against me. Its not just missing the weed. I feel that all my chances are gone. Cars broke down, house is falling apart, my kids need me and I feel helpless to do anything. Horrible nightmares and daydreams. I want to smoke but I know that's just gonna make it worse. I have prayed constantly. I believe in God but I think he has abandoned me. I hate myself for what Ive done to my life. This morning I can barely function. My love for that damn weed has put me in this spot. Sorry for this post. I have know one else to tell things too. I just hope I can get better
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NY
Posts: 61
I feel on not being able to find work.. I've been look as well n it's not helping with my depression either. Now that I'm sober I want to start working again and stay busy. I'm bored out of my kind a lot of the time.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Southern Oregon U.S.
Posts: 1,023
Hey Richie-
Hang in there man, I had days like that for sure and I told myself "if I stay sober, it's all good". I been there, and I can tell you that it got better for me. Give yourself some credit okay buddy.
Hang in there man, I had days like that for sure and I told myself "if I stay sober, it's all good". I been there, and I can tell you that it got better for me. Give yourself some credit okay buddy.
Ben's Papa
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Chesapeake,VA
Posts: 970
Hard to believe it has been 6 weeks since my last hit. Most nights recently I've dreamed that I started smoking again. I haven't been craving it when I'm awake too much but its all I've been dreaming of lately. I am so glad its only in my dreams. And so glad that I am not smoking now. Still pretty down about being out of work but happy to have such a loving little family. they give me the strength to keep going.
Ben's Papa
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Chesapeake,VA
Posts: 970
Made it to 8 weeks today. Been dreaming about smoking almost every night. The craving got worse this week but I'm not giving in. Still looking for work and that has put a lot of stress and depression on me, but I know if I smoked again now I would never forgive myself. Thank God I have my grandson around most days to give me inspiration.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Maine
Posts: 6
Hey Richie - just wanted to thank you for sharing about your struggle to quit weed. I quit drinking just over a year ago (8/3/15) and am coming up on my one year mark of stopping weed. I was also a heavy user for many years - since I was a teenager, really (I'm almost 40 now). In a way, quitting pot was harder than stopping drinking. It seems more socially accepted around here to smoke weed than to be a heavy drinker. Sometimes I wonder if it would be okay for me to smoke a little; after all, weed wasn't what caused me to blackout, make dangerous decisions, etc. But reading your posts helps me remember how hard it was to quit in the first place. I don't want to go through that again. And if I were to smoke again, it would "open the door" to other things. I'm sure I'd be more likely to cave and drink, too. Plus I know I can't smoke casually. I'm an addict. So - thank you for honestly sharing about your experience. I hope things are calming down for you. Keep up the good work!
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