Richie

12 years ago(September 2004) I first posted on this forum. I had lost my job and had to quit smoking pot after years of heavy use. I made some great friends here, some of whom are no longer with us. I managed to quit for 6 years but started smoking again in 2010. Now I find myself in the same situation, having just been laid off last week. this is day 2 for me not smoking. I have been a 5 or 6 times a day smoker since I started back. At least this time I have the support of my kids and my wonderful grandson. Still, today I am at a very low point, not only quitting weed but trying to clean myself out so I can find work. This forum was an immense help to me and the people I got to know here were my friends indeed. Eddie Z, Rusty Zipper, Sherbear, and the rest. My greatest inspiration was Dangerous Dan, who took his life in early 2010. I don't know what Im looking for here but it is comforting to be here again. I know I can quit again but right now the stress and incredible sadness are getting to me. This time I hope to quit it for good.

Dee74

Hi and Welcome back Richie

I wasn't here 12 years ago but I'm getting up there for long service, lol.

It's still a great place for support

I smoked for 30 years. It is possible to write a new chapter two.

Not sure about the others but Zip (Rusty Zipper) is still around

D

Hevyn

Hi Richie - I'm so glad you posted. It's good to know you found help here before - and I'm sure you will again. Of course you can and will quit.

Lorax1981

Hi Richie. Quitting and staying quit is the hardest thing I've ever done and continue to do. You had 6 years so that says you have the gumption to do it again. Those early days suck bad but get easier as you go. Welcome back and good luck!

Richie

Thank you all. Day 3 is just beginning and I've got my mind made up to get through this...again. My grandson is with me today. He is the greatest reason I have to succeed!

Dee74

That awesome Richie
D

Hevyn

Good to know you're on Day 3. You can do this, Richie.

Richie

Day 3 was the hardest yet but I made it to day 4. I bought some sonnes 7 detoxicant and started taking that this morning. I need to be able to pass a drug test if I'm going to find another job. Been kicking myself in the head for starting back after 6 years clean. this time is going to be for good! But right now all I want to do is sleep. Which of course is filled with crazy dreams. I haven't forgotten how it was before. I know It'll get harder before it gets easier. My 4year old grandson stays with me almost every day. I love him more than anything and I'm going to get right for him! I believe in God and I pray constantly for his grace on my family and me. Thank you for your support and God bless you all.

Richie

Day 5. Head hurts. Bad dreams all night (when I manage to sleep). No appetite. Nervous and agitated...like the last time I quit.
But my convictions are strong and I am never going to smoke again! I'm trying to clean all the garbage out of me. Drinking lots of water and cranberry juice(ugh!). I am a lot older this time and its physically harder on me but I am handling it better mentally than before..... most of the time.

Pacoloco

You are doing great. I like your mindset. Congratulations. Just hang in there, the worse part is almost over. Soon you will be sleeping well and feeling much much better. But you already know that keep it up, friend. Proud of you.

Richie

Day 8. I have now made it a week without smoking! Though yesterday was the hardest yet. Been really depressed, not so much about not smoking but about not having a job now and worrying about my family. I am scared to apply for jobs that I might have a chance of getting for fear of a pre-employment drug test. I've put in a few applications at jobs I don't want to satisfy the conditions of my unemployment. Been drinking lots of water. I just want to get this cursed stuff out of me!!!

PurpleKnight

Welcome back Richie . . . Day 8 is fantastic!!

Richie

The cravings haven't been too bad so far. I think that my depression over my general situation has kind of kept them in the back of my mind. The dreams have been terrible, though. This forum is really the only outlet I have. I feel like I have failed my children and my grandson by all the bad choices I have made. Right now I am at the lowest point I have reached in many years. Still not smoking though. I hate that stuff even more than I hate myself. And that's a lot!

Richie

Feeling better. Day 10

Dee74

great going richie

Lorax1981

Nice job! Be nice to yourself man, you haven't failed anybody. We all have something to offer, be proud of, and be thankful for. Keep your head up man! (I know, easier said than done)

Pacoloco

Great going, Richie. Soon the worse part will be over. Glad you are feeling better

kittycat3

WTG Richie! I was like you, an all day smoker. Just here and there....that was months ago. Since I quit I feel physically much better and like a weight has been lifted from my spirit. No more guilty feeling, you know the one, where you are smoking your life and dreams away?
Life isn't easy - I still crave a toke here and there - but I'm fully experiencing all of the emotions life brings without hiding behind a wall of smoke. That's a good feeling in itself.
Keep going!

Richie

Thank you all for the support. My grandson is here today and he helps me look to the future in a brighter way. I've got the greatest inspiration I could have playing dominos on my bedroom floor right now! I will get thru this and I will never smoke again! This is my third chance and I'm gonna make it good.

Dee74

Right on Richie

D